How do I get her to SLEEP!!!##@@$#@#@

[Bigsweetie]

Hey all,
I need some advice from the BTDT moms. Emily will not sleep more than and hour at a time at night!! Then she just fusses til it's time for her next feeding. I feed her til she doesn't seem to want any more, then I change her and spend the next hour trying to rock her to sleep! As soon as I put her down she spits out her nuk and fusses!!

I am at the point of a complete mental breakdown! I'm exhausted, haven't eaten much in the last two days and finding myself getting upset with Emily.

Any advice?

Tanya

[Brenda]

Tanya,
First off, is your milk giving her enough to fill her up? Second, what kind of environment is she in during sleep time? Is she too hot or cold? You might even want to try a music/cricket type sound to soothe her. Even hte mama's heartbeat bear works wonders.
So she spits out her nook? Have you tried swaddling her really snug? My ped. suggested that and it worked WONDERS!!!!
I know exactly how that can make you feel like you are at your last ounce of sanity before a breakdown, I highly recommend swaddling and putting baby in either swing or vibrating bouncy. You'll find yourself napping or doing things in between feedings!
Good luck!
Brenda

[Kristie]

BTDT??

maybe she doesn't really like pacifiers that much? My sister's baby wouldn't take to one at all...and sometimes she'd keep baby in her swing for hours to get her to sleep really good or use a sleepy cd to get her to relax enough to sleep.

wrap her up like a burrito - that's what my sister's hubby would do to get a grasp on the swaddling idea.

btw - are you trying any formula at night? it fills baby up a bit more and will help them sleep better/longer.

[Lurker]

Warm bath before bed, feed in very dimly lit room, blackout blinds...is she getting enough in previous feeds..sleeping too much in the early evening?
Have you read "The Contented Little Baby Book"?...bit of a Nazi regime but everyone I know who has tried it says it works a charm.

[MQAAord]

Oh girl, I can hear the frustration in your voice! I can relate in so many ways. Both of mine were HORRIBLE sleepers for the first 2-3 months. It got so bad I actually swore at Alex, and I told Brandon many times I wanted to return him to the NICU. (Oh my the things we say to our children at 3am when they won't sleep...... I think that's why they don't speak English yet.)

Does she sleep longer periods in the daytime? Could be a case of days/nights turned around.

Are you breastfeeding? Is there a possibility she's not getting enough? Please don't take it personally if she's not, it's okay to supplement! A full tummy leads to longer sleep.

Is she reflux-y? Crying/fussing while and immediatly after eating? Painful spit up? Once we fixed Brandon's reflux issues, his sleep immediately improved.

Will she only sleep 'on' somebody? Wants to be held while sleeping? That was both of mine at first! I had to just keep putting them down while they were sleeping. If they woke up, I rocked/comforted them, and put them back. Eventually they learn if they're tired, they sleep, and sleep is in the crib.

Alex wanted his pacifier to fall asleep. Still does. Brandon won't have anything to do with one. It's an individual thing. I would often have to go into Alex's room to 'plug him back in', because the paci would fall out and he'd wake up.

I 'sleep trained' both my boys by putting them in their cribs when they were sleepy, and showed signs of being tired. Rubbing eyes, tossing head, fussy, yawning, etc. I would put them down and say "I love you, goodnight!" Then leave. At first sometimes they would fall asleep, sometimes they wouldn't! Eventually they learned that when they're tired and they're in their crib, it's time to sleep. Even little Brandon now falls asleep on his own. Crying it out doesn't work until they're a little older. I had to do that with Alex at around 7 months or so. Brandon took to falling asleep on his own really well.

Those first months are SO hard. I totally understand your frustration! It does get better, I promise! A couple months ago I was right there where you are now, sleep deprived, frustrated, and just going nuts! The thoughts that went through my tired mind were awful at times, I swear I sincerely wanted to return him on more than one occasion! But I told myself I'd lost his reciept, and his 7-day money-back-guarantee had expired [img]images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Big hugs to ya! Please let us know in a couple days if it's getting better, and if there's any other advice we can offer. Try everything, eventually you'll find something that works for you. Swaddling can help, but some babies HATE having their movement restricted. Some babies simply refuse pacifiers.

[TheWife]

The only thing I have to add is a big fat amen to the swaddling, some babies SEEM resistant to it, but it will usually calm them down. If a stranger saw the little routine Kyla used to do before she'd fall asleep, they'd probably think she hated everything that was going on, but I could tell she needed to be swaddled and need help keeping a binki in. It takes them a little while to get used to the different shape and sucking that a binki requires. Kyla would fight like mad in her swaddle wrap (they are $10 at Babies R Us) but it always calmed her down and she sleeps forever. My mom always thinks she doesn't like it and takes her out, but really she just has to work out this last bout of energy. Caleb did the same thing, even w/o swaddling, he'd get over tired and just scream, but it only lasted a few minutes, and then he'd sleep forever. I think it's their way of getting all the wiggles out and releasing any energy and tension they have. So if at first she seems resistant to being swaddled, keep trying. And if she keeps spitting the binki out, keep putting it back in. Also the other thought I had was putting her to sleep on an incline or on her side. Some babies prefer that. She's night quite old enough for a crib soother, but she is probably getting close. Caleb has the FP Ocean Wonders Aquarium, and Kyla has the new version which is called Flutterbye Soother or something like that. They both love them! Kyla's plays a light show on the ceiling of little birds and the sun and moon, and it makes little chirps and plays music. If I put her down when it's bed/nap time, she just lays there and stares at it tell she falls asleep. If I don't get her to bed in that window though, between bed time and over tired, then we have to go through a little fit of crying and thrashing about until she gets it all worked out and then goes to sleep. I also agree that formula really helps them sleep, just don't put cereal in the bottle, that seems to be a favorite suggestion among the well intentioned but misinformed. And as Amber said, before you know it, they are sleeping 12 hours and you don't remember how bad it was. (Of course that's only small comfort as you go through what seems to be endless nights). Other than that, try sleeping in a vibrating bouncer, swing, car seat on the washer, whatever works.

[lucky81698]

Tanya,

I would definitely try the swaddling. I used to really wrap my son up tight which he seemed to like. Of course he would always wiggle his arms out. Try the temperature thing too. He kept waking up for awhile and my parents told me he was probably cold. Fixing that seemed to do the trick. My niece ws the same way, her mother kept saying "I am hot so she is too". Well it doesn't quite work that way! My father put a blanket it on her and she slept fine! (She's the type that reads all the books yet doesn't want to listen to advice from people that have BTDT and know what they are talking about..caused alot of problems needlessly for herself!) He loved to sleep in this carseat/carrier thing too. He probably slept in that most of the time except at night.

Amber,
How did you fix the reflux issues? Just wondering because we think my son has had that since he was born. I was never able to let him cry even for a few minutes or he would throw up. Even until he was around 4 when he got upset and cried he would throw up. He had very large tonsils and had them removed in March, but he still has signs of heartburn during the night. If he eats anything after around 7pm sure enough he wakes up coughing and throws up. He says his throat burns. We have an appointment in the end of June with a GI doctor. I'm not looking forward to any of the tests they may have to do, but I hope it can help him.

Jan

Sorry didn't mean to hijack your thread Tanya!

[roz]

If you are nursing, are you watching what you are eating? Evan fussed a lot and then my advisor told me that my healthy eating of veggies was causing him to fuss. I modified my diet.

Also, she could be preparing for a growth spurt. Right before, they want to nurse all the time so that your milk supply is increased.

It helps to view everything as a stage. It will be over soon and they will be on to some new, idiosincracy!

Oh and start saving cars now so that when she's 16 she'll have junkers to crash! (That's my husband's joke about children!)

[MQAAord]

We dealt with his reflux at first by having him sleep on an incline. His bassinette (a really cool Peg Perego Navetta) had two feet that folded out from the bottom, one at the foot and one at the head. I put out the one at the head of the bassinette to get him inclined, and that helped. I also had a pillow under one side of his crib.

I'd had my suspicions of reflux, and after seeing how much better he slept inclined I called the doc the next day. He was seen the day after, and he got his mid-section felt up for any other issues (hernias, etc) and after the exam the doc agreed that it was probably reflux. He was given a prescription for baby-strength Zantac. It turned him into a different baby. It took a few days for the medicine to have it's full effect, but now when he spits up he doesn't scream! Also the doc told me to thicken his formula with rice cereal, the thicker formula lends itself to not being spit up as much. (No, I don't thicken his formula to make him sleep longer, it was doctor-suggested, and he drinks the same thickened formula all day long.)

The Zantac & thicker formula made him so much more comfortable. Your little guy is older, right? Have you tried giving him Tums or Mylanta? I have no personal experience with treating the ails of older kids, but I would think that the doc would be able to give him some Zantac, or Prilosec or something to help his tummy feel better. Just remember it can take several days for the full effect to be seen, so if it doesn't make him better the next day after the first dose, don't give up!

[lucky81698]

Thanks Amber. He is 6. It seems to have been getting worse. His regular doctor suggested he take Tums and he has been doing that. It was the ENT that suggested that he see a GI specialist. I am just hoping he doesn't have to drink any of that chalky stuff that my husband did when he was around 12. He has the same thing. Actually I have it too. Last year my voice was so scratchy for months I could barely talk but my throat didn't hurt and I felt fine. After like 3 trips to the doctor I decided to go to my ENT who said it was from reflux during the night and prescribed Nexium. Haven't had a problem since. I didn't realize they made stuff like that in baby/kid strength. Glad to hear that it really works and helped your son. Thanks for the information

Jan