How do you mommys do it?? - Page 2

Bigsweetie · 01-27-2008, 12:55 PM

I think every parent worries about this kind of thing, but all you can do is raise them the best way you know how and hope/pray for the best.

I have no idea what my daughters' futures hold, but I hope that I teach them the right things to do and that they have the courage to stand up to peer pressure.

I DO think movies like Juno, etc. glamourize teen/unwed pregnancy though. Even if the movie tries to make it seem "undesirable", Juno is still considered "cool" by some young people. Even the movies where the pg woman is an "adult", if she's portrayed as "cool" that's enough for SOME impressionalbe minds.

There are lots of kids out there who's parents pay no attention to them and show no affection and they begin looking for it in any fashion.... seeing baby's as the unconditional love that they are longing for.

Anyone looking forward to the show "Baby Borrowers"
NBC Fall Preview

Regina · 01-27-2008, 02:12 PM

This is a very sad situation. I first feel sad that someone so young was having sex and the consequences that she now faces. Then, I wonder about the family member that she was having sex with...as a school official, isn't the nurse obligated to report this situation to authorites? Then, I wonder about confidentiality of the school nurse...even if she didn't mention names, should she be discussing another student's condition with any of the other parents? That doesn't seem right to me.

Then the whole mom situation. I feel sorry that it may be a cycle of teenage, or in this case, pre-teen pregnancy repeating itself. Or, it could be that no one taught the mom differently. Or, it could be the mom trying to make light of the situation in order not to scare the daughter because what is done is done and she knows she just move on from here. Or, it could be a whole wide range of misconceptions of I overheard such and such say this..., which may or may not be the case. or the pregnant student might be spreading this because she is embarressed by the entire situation...just a whole lot of possibilities.

Some religions, obviously, do not consider abortion as an option for any case, abortion, rape, or otherwise. The reason for this is not to be cruel or otherwise. It is because the belief is that a baby is a human from conception and they have a right to live too, and/or that for both of them (child and mother) their eternal salvation may hinder on this. Maybe this person, and the child, believe in this view and it isn't being forced on the child..don't know. I know that Jehovah Witnesses don't believe in blood transfusions or things like this, and although I would hate to see a child die because of this, I don't think I could ever say that I have a right to get in the parents view of what they feel could lead to eternal salvation for them. Not sure why adoption isn't a choice, but then again, I am not them, so I guess they somehow have their reasons.

As far as how parents handle this kind of situation, I agree with other poster is that you parent the best way you know how and hope for the best. As far as for me, I try to avoid the constant images of sex and violence that are thrown at your kids on a daily basis. Tv., the internet, radio songs, video games, etc. can all be used for so much good; unfortunately, that isn't always the case. Our opinion is to filter out the junk the best way we know how, try to give our kids a good example ourselves, and to be a part of their lives, showing that they are loved and cared for in everyway. This way, we are setting a foundation of what we believe, and when the time comes, they will be prepared to make the best decision that they can based on the values that we have given them and what they have chosen to follow. It will be up to them to make that choice, but I believe in preparing them for those choices.

jr_lenz · 01-28-2008, 11:18 AM

I just want to take that little girl, yes the fith grader and hug her. What a horrible thing for her to have to go through. 1st of all she is a 5th grader, and probably still crys when she crashes her bike, now she is going to have to go through pg and labor. (I have cried lately b/c my body hurts so bad and I am well into my 30's) Second of all I don't think the other 5th graders are going to think it's cool, I think that they are going to have alot of questions, and this little girl is going to have to try and explain that she is pregnant by someone in her family. It just makes me sad.

I don't think that you can look at this sistuation as the "norm" since it was rape, and done by a member of the family. Nor does it sound like the girl was trying to get pg.

On a side note...Our state has a horrible meth problem and they have kicked off this big campain agaist meth, we took T to one of the "town hall" type of meeting that peolpe get up and talk about what meth did to them. (yes he is only 7, but I feel like real life is the best way to teach him, and the younger the better). Anyway one of the speaker was 15 yrs old, and she started meth when she was 12. She had pics of herself before she started, and she was so cute, then to she her then, talking about how she would have sex to pay for her meth, I was sick, sick, sick....

spotty4 · 02-01-2008, 06:29 PM

I don't mean to sound insensitive, but isn't this baby at very high risk for serious birth defects (too similar gene pool)?? Whether or not someone supports abortion, this seems like a case where the quality of life of both mother and child will be greatly hindered if the pregnancy is carried to term.

Regina · 02-01-2008, 09:13 PM

I think that babies are more at risk for genetic defects, depending on the degree of relation. I do know that there are waiting lists for people willing to adopt babies that have defects, specifically downs and such.

spotty4 · 02-06-2008, 01:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Regina

I think that babies are more at risk for genetic defects, depending on the degree of relation. I do know that there are waiting lists for people willing to adopt babies that have defects, specifically downs and such.

Oh wow! I wasn't aware of that! That's wonderful.

alfajoyeux · 02-06-2008, 05:13 PM

What a horrible situation....a 5th grader????? My son is in 6th grade this year. I just can't imagine! Do they know who the family member is that did this? Are they pressing charges? My heart just breaks for this little girl.....10-yrs-old and pregnant. Even if the mom doesn't want to press charges, doesn't the state HAVE to press charges?

Wanda

01-27-2008, 12:55 PM	#11 (permalink)
Bigsweetie Member Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Clinton Township, Michigan Posts: 1,562 Recipes: Thanks: 8 Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts	Re: How do you mommys do it?? I think every parent worries about this kind of thing, but all you can do is raise them the best way you know how and hope/pray for the best. I have no idea what my daughters' futures hold, but I hope that I teach them the right things to do and that they have the courage to stand up to peer pressure. I DO think movies like Juno, etc. glamourize teen/unwed pregnancy though. Even if the movie tries to make it seem "undesirable", Juno is still considered "cool" by some young people. Even the movies where the pg woman is an "adult", if she's portrayed as "cool" that's enough for SOME impressionalbe minds. There are lots of kids out there who's parents pay no attention to them and show no affection and they begin looking for it in any fashion.... seeing baby's as the unconditional love that they are longing for. Anyone looking forward to the show "Baby Borrowers" NBC Fall Preview

01-27-2008, 02:12 PM	#12 (permalink)
Regina Jetgirls Ol' School Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Southern state Posts: 999 Recipes: Thanks: 7 Thanked 12 Times in 12 Posts	Re: How do you mommys do it?? This is a very sad situation. I first feel sad that someone so young was having sex and the consequences that she now faces. Then, I wonder about the family member that she was having sex with...as a school official, isn't the nurse obligated to report this situation to authorites? Then, I wonder about confidentiality of the school nurse...even if she didn't mention names, should she be discussing another student's condition with any of the other parents? That doesn't seem right to me. Then the whole mom situation. I feel sorry that it may be a cycle of teenage, or in this case, pre-teen pregnancy repeating itself. Or, it could be that no one taught the mom differently. Or, it could be the mom trying to make light of the situation in order not to scare the daughter because what is done is done and she knows she just move on from here. Or, it could be a whole wide range of misconceptions of I overheard such and such say this..., which may or may not be the case. or the pregnant student might be spreading this because she is embarressed by the entire situation...just a whole lot of possibilities. Some religions, obviously, do not consider abortion as an option for any case, abortion, rape, or otherwise. The reason for this is not to be cruel or otherwise. It is because the belief is that a baby is a human from conception and they have a right to live too, and/or that for both of them (child and mother) their eternal salvation may hinder on this. Maybe this person, and the child, believe in this view and it isn't being forced on the child..don't know. I know that Jehovah Witnesses don't believe in blood transfusions or things like this, and although I would hate to see a child die because of this, I don't think I could ever say that I have a right to get in the parents view of what they feel could lead to eternal salvation for them. Not sure why adoption isn't a choice, but then again, I am not them, so I guess they somehow have their reasons. As far as how parents handle this kind of situation, I agree with other poster is that you parent the best way you know how and hope for the best. As far as for me, I try to avoid the constant images of sex and violence that are thrown at your kids on a daily basis. Tv., the internet, radio songs, video games, etc. can all be used for so much good; unfortunately, that isn't always the case. Our opinion is to filter out the junk the best way we know how, try to give our kids a good example ourselves, and to be a part of their lives, showing that they are loved and cared for in everyway. This way, we are setting a foundation of what we believe, and when the time comes, they will be prepared to make the best decision that they can based on the values that we have given them and what they have chosen to follow. It will be up to them to make that choice, but I believe in preparing them for those choices.

01-28-2008, 11:18 AM	#13 (permalink)
jr_lenz Jetgirls Ol' School Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Idaho Posts: 862 Recipes: Thanks: 0 Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts	Re: How do you mommys do it?? I just want to take that little girl, yes the fith grader and hug her. What a horrible thing for her to have to go through. 1st of all she is a 5th grader, and probably still crys when she crashes her bike, now she is going to have to go through pg and labor. (I have cried lately b/c my body hurts so bad and I am well into my 30's) Second of all I don't think the other 5th graders are going to think it's cool, I think that they are going to have alot of questions, and this little girl is going to have to try and explain that she is pregnant by someone in her family. It just makes me sad. I don't think that you can look at this sistuation as the "norm" since it was rape, and done by a member of the family. Nor does it sound like the girl was trying to get pg. On a side note...Our state has a horrible meth problem and they have kicked off this big campain agaist meth, we took T to one of the "town hall" type of meeting that peolpe get up and talk about what meth did to them. (yes he is only 7, but I feel like real life is the best way to teach him, and the younger the better). Anyway one of the speaker was 15 yrs old, and she started meth when she was 12. She had pics of herself before she started, and she was so cute, then to she her then, talking about how she would have sex to pay for her meth, I was sick, sick, sick.... __________________ He wasn't sure he wanted a baby sister, but he loved her the moment he saw her.

02-01-2008, 06:29 PM	#14 (permalink)
spotty4 Jetgirls Ol' School Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Central Coast California Posts: 1,145 Recipes: Thanks: 8 Thanked 14 Times in 14 Posts	Re: How do you mommys do it?? I don't mean to sound insensitive, but isn't this baby at very high risk for serious birth defects (too similar gene pool)?? Whether or not someone supports abortion, this seems like a case where the quality of life of both mother and child will be greatly hindered if the pregnancy is carried to term. __________________ http://shelleypotts.com Wedding Pictures!

02-01-2008, 09:13 PM	#15 (permalink)
Regina Jetgirls Ol' School Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Southern state Posts: 999 Recipes: Thanks: 7 Thanked 12 Times in 12 Posts	Re: How do you mommys do it?? I think that babies are more at risk for genetic defects, depending on the degree of relation. I do know that there are waiting lists for people willing to adopt babies that have defects, specifically downs and such.

02-06-2008, 05:13 PM	#17 (permalink)
alfajoyeux Jetgirls Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Michigan Posts: 120 Recipes: Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: How do you mommys do it?? What a horrible situation....a 5th grader????? My son is in 6th grade this year. I just can't imagine! Do they know who the family member is that did this? Are they pressing charges? My heart just breaks for this little girl.....10-yrs-old and pregnant. Even if the mom doesn't want to press charges, doesn't the state HAVE to press charges? Wanda

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