Help - need advice!

danda · 12-02-2007, 04:20 PM

Hi! I'm brand new to this forum and am in need of advice! Here's the situation. I landed my dream job in upstate NY, and literally within several weeks, my DH was assigned as an FO in Newark (a 5.5 hour drive from home). For the past year and a half, we've been trying desperately to make this commuting thing work, but it's absolutely impossible. My husband is under so much stress each and every month when bidding for trips, and each and every week when trying to get to and from work, spending countless hours sleeping in a chair in the crew room, waiting around to actually start working, sleep deprived, miserable, etc. This is really taking it's toll on us. We're now at a crossroads, and we're completely torn on how to proceed. Here are the two options we're considering:

1) Stick w/ ExpressJet, but base trade to Houston. Expect to go from FO to Captain in about 6 months. Better money, no more commuting, but obviously I have to quit my job.

2) Apply to NetJets. Get to stay in NY and keep my job, but now my DH will be working 7 days on, 7 days off for the foreseeable future.

We don't have kids yet, but we're hoping to start trying in the next 1-2 years. We're trying to imagine how life will be with him gone for a week at a time, every other week. On the one hand, the time away seems awful, but on the other hand, at least we'll have a set schedule. Or, would it be better to live in a base city and see each other more frequently, but with much less time between trips? Seems like having such a changeable schedule could be harder on the family, even though we'd see him more times during the week.

And then how the heck can I fit my career in to any of this?!? Having just recently completed my Master's, which I'll be paying off for many years to come, it's hard to just put my career on the back burner and turn away this awesome job. Nonetheless, commuting just is not an option. We are at our wits end, with so much stress and guilt that it's tearing us apart. And the frustrating thing is neither of us are mad at each other, it's just the situation that is inflicting so much stress on our relationship.

Help! Any words of wisdom out there?!?

D.

12-02-2007, 04:20 PM	#1 (permalink)
danda New Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: upstate NY Posts: 4 Recipes: Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Help - need advice! Hi! I'm brand new to this forum and am in need of advice! Here's the situation. I landed my dream job in upstate NY, and literally within several weeks, my DH was assigned as an FO in Newark (a 5.5 hour drive from home). For the past year and a half, we've been trying desperately to make this commuting thing work, but it's absolutely impossible. My husband is under so much stress each and every month when bidding for trips, and each and every week when trying to get to and from work, spending countless hours sleeping in a chair in the crew room, waiting around to actually start working, sleep deprived, miserable, etc. This is really taking it's toll on us. We're now at a crossroads, and we're completely torn on how to proceed. Here are the two options we're considering: 1) Stick w/ ExpressJet, but base trade to Houston. Expect to go from FO to Captain in about 6 months. Better money, no more commuting, but obviously I have to quit my job. 2) Apply to NetJets. Get to stay in NY and keep my job, but now my DH will be working 7 days on, 7 days off for the foreseeable future. We don't have kids yet, but we're hoping to start trying in the next 1-2 years. We're trying to imagine how life will be with him gone for a week at a time, every other week. On the one hand, the time away seems awful, but on the other hand, at least we'll have a set schedule. Or, would it be better to live in a base city and see each other more frequently, but with much less time between trips? Seems like having such a changeable schedule could be harder on the family, even though we'd see him more times during the week. And then how the heck can I fit my career in to any of this?!? Having just recently completed my Master's, which I'll be paying off for many years to come, it's hard to just put my career on the back burner and turn away this awesome job. Nonetheless, commuting just is not an option. We are at our wits end, with so much stress and guilt that it's tearing us apart. And the frustrating thing is neither of us are mad at each other, it's just the situation that is inflicting so much stress on our relationship. Help! Any words of wisdom out there?!? D.

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