grades ?

[jr_lenz]

I feel like I need to explain myself...we expect good grades from T, he only gets paid for his outstandings, which he has to have a 100% or higher to get. He is expected to be in the A-B range from good study habits.

However we do feel like school is part of his "job" and so is chores around the house, but just like in real life when you exceded at your "job" you get rewarded. An example, he cleaned and vaccumed his room the other day(noraml "job" expecations), but then he took it apon himself (no asking) and vaccumed the entire house, our room, the office, and livingroom. He also went in and cleaned the bathroom. You bet I rewarded him, he earned it.

We started him on "jobs" when he was about three, and he LOVES making money and being responsible, he pays for a lot of stuff himself, he will even give us money for the house payment every month (we never ask but he tells us it feels good to help out) He takes me out on mother's day and pays...granted we go to McDonalds but hey. He also saves for big ticket things that he wants, and really really understands how expensive toys are, and he has come far in deciding want he wants, and what he REALLY wants.

My sister in law and I were talking about this and how with thier middle child money would never work for her, she has a big sister that casts a big shadow and Nicci loves praise and loves having Nicci days, thats is her reward. so you have to find what fits your child. For mine its earning money...and just like in my job and my life I like to get a little extra thrown my way when I do a really good job, and exceded expectations. I do the same for him.

[UKcats06]

Originally Posted by jr_lenz

but then he took it apon himself (no asking) and vaccumed the entire house, our room, the office, and livingroom. He also went in and cleaned the bathroom. You bet I rewarded him, he earned it.

When can I borrow him?? I hope my kids will be like that!!

[Regina]

We expect the kids to do their chores, but we do try to reward them for doing it and doing it with a good attitude.

I think we have come to the conclusion that the effort in the whole grades thing is the important part. We really don't care so much about the whole letter grades, with the exception of conduct, religion, and effort. Those things are an expected A, but I am going to reward them for meeting our expectations....it's like a bonus in business (you meet your goal, sometimes there is a bonus for you at the end). We have very high expectations...realistic, but they are high, so when the kids are excited about pleasing us in the 3 important things for us (conduct, religion, and effort), I am going to let them pick out the reward. Most of the kids in our school get money for each A...we can't afford that, or I guess we could if it was at a smaller amount. We just don't make the same amount of money.

So, anyway, to tell them that I was proud of them, we took all the kids out to lunch in the school kids' honor, and then we went to Walmart for them to pick out a toy. My daughter chose a 3.00 toy, and my son chose, let's just say a more expensive toy that I didn't mind because it was a learning toy.

I was paid for my grades, and it did work to motivate me. My son, school comes easy for him (he just skipped a grade this year), but my daughter, school is more difficult. He is just more academic and she is more the social butterfly that could care a less. They are both happy kids though, so we just try to encourage their strengths....socializing for her and academics for him. They both did well in the grades that counted for us, so the other subjects are just to let us know what we need to work on or what we are doing well in, etc.

Janet, your son sounds like an angel. I get the whole let's clean the house for mommy once in a blue moon, but that is the 5 oldest working together to clean it.....and it is once in a blue moon. Whatever you are doing with him deserves a big pat on the back.

[jr_lenz]

Originally Posted by Regina

Janet, your son sounds like an angel. I get the whole let's clean the house for mommy once in a blue moon, but that is the 5 oldest working together to clean it.....and it is once in a blue moon. Whatever you are doing with him deserves a big pat on the back.

Reginia, my son is an ANGEL and I have no idea why! lol, I think God is rewarding me for all of my losses...its his way of saying thank you for believing in me and not giving up...here is one of my most presious angles. It makes me a little scared about baby number two, there is no way that I am going to have two of him, and he has been so easy I know this little girl is going to come out with a furry leaving a trail of distructions behind her!....my the way accordning to EVERYONE that was her mother was!

[FedExWife]

Good topic! My oldest daughter (13) is very dedicated and Type A you know...the younger one (11) is such a free spirit and out of the box thinker. We do not pay for grades. High scores are a requirement here! (whip crackin' Mommy!) I tell my children this: If I thought you had a capacity limitation then I would structure my expectations to your ability....you don't though....so hit the books!

I like the reward system for unexpected choices. If one of my groovy girls decides to go "above and beyond" then I reward the personal choice to excel. I hope it encourages them to recognize our choices have consequence. So far I have two honor roll students, one of which takes independent study at a local university through an advancement program for middle school kiddos. I applaude all of your efforts....parenting is the most fulfilling job I have ever had and has the best perks! It is however....no easy task.