How did you *know* 3!

UKcats06 · 09-04-2007, 10:54 AM

One more how did you know!!

How did you know you and dh were ready to start a family?

TheWife · 09-04-2007, 11:01 AM

There are 2 steps to "knowing". One, you "know" but you resist, so you get a cat. Two, the cat gets boring. Looks like you've covered step one. Good luck.

SeatClutcher · 09-04-2007, 12:31 PM

I wonder if knowing when you ARE ready is the same as knowing when you definitely AREN'T (ever) going to be ready.

We decided about a month ago on the latter. For us, it had to do with who we are now, what age we are, what we want to do, and what we don't want to do. As far as "knowing"...I've always known, but as I get a little older, imagining an "oops!" and what that would mean just sort of solidified the NO.

jr_lenz · 09-04-2007, 02:46 PM

you'r late, your boobs hurt someone talks you into peeing on a stick...boom you are now ready to start a family! (thats how it happened for me, of course things got REALLY complated after that) this time around we put a little more thought into it. We knew we wanted another one, but the timing was never good. But I was getting older and the window was getting smaller, so we held or breath and jumped in for round number two! If I think about it I still don't think that we are *ready* but you are amazed about how ready you really are when it comes down to it. you just do it and dont really think twice about it, once you are in the middle of it

amelia · 09-04-2007, 04:02 PM

When we met, we both knew we wanted kids and we couldn't wait to start a family. I can't say what point in time I knew for sure I was ready, but it was before I met DH.

Anonymous · 09-04-2007, 04:32 PM

What if you found out you were and both of you don't want kids? I am talking about both parties having really strong feelings about NOT wanting kids. And you are scared to tell him the next time you see him because you don't know what will happen or what his reaction will be. He already doesn't like to have sex all the time because of what "might" happen. You are also on the pill to obviously prevent such things from happening.

What do you do???

SeatClutcher · 09-04-2007, 05:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anonymous

What if you found out you were and both of you don't want kids? I am talking about both parties having really strong feelings about NOT wanting kids. And you are scared to tell him the next time you see him because you don't know what will happen or what his reaction will be. He already doesn't like to have sex all the time because of what "might" happen. You are also on the pill to obviously prevent such things from happening.

What do you do???

Oy.

That's a tough - and very, very personal - decision. No advice here but to be honest and tell him and go from there.

Amanda · 09-04-2007, 05:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anonymous

What if you found out you were and both of you don't want kids? I am talking about both parties having really strong feelings about NOT wanting kids. And you are scared to tell him the next time you see him because you don't know what will happen or what his reaction will be. He already doesn't like to have sex all the time because of what "might" happen. You are also on the pill to obviously prevent such things from happening.

What do you do???

This should probably be it's own post in the Safehouse area.

It is a very tough situation you are in. I know that when I started dating Nick he said he didn't want kids. Now 5 years later he is completely fine with it. People CAN change their minds. I don't know all of your details, but like SeatClutcher said, let him know. And make sure you use good timing and don't tell him if he is tired, stressed, in a bad mood, etc. We are here for you!

UKcats06 · 09-04-2007, 06:14 PM

I think we are ready like as far as our relationship goes, its just getting there financially really. I would like to be more used to his schedule when he started working for an airline, though. I wouldn't be sad if it happened now though by any means. I would like to be a little older, and I would like to go on a cruise before we have one, lol. But its like I think about if I died tomorrow what would I regret the most, and it would be having kids. I know I'm young, but thats how I feel!

I think I am going to be really jealous of a baby when we have one though, I really like having ALL of dh's attention. I mean I get jealous of the cats sometimes, lol. But he comes in and picks up the cat and pretends I'm not there. I know that's what he will do with a baby though. I guess I have admitted that I will be jealous, isn's the first step admitting you have a problem? lol

Rebes · 09-04-2007, 07:59 PM

I don't think there is ever the perfect time to have kids. I know before we had kids I wanted to travel a bit together first, and he wanted to be financially stable. The first part happened, but we found out I was pregnant with our first 2 months after 9/11 and DH's job was in question. Even though timing wasn't great there, I would not have changed anything, having my son probably helped us through a difficult time.

09-04-2007, 10:54 AM	#1 (permalink)
UKcats06 Jetgirls Ol' School Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Erlanger, KY Posts: 657 Recipes: Thanks: 1 Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts	*How did you know* 3!** One more how did you know!! How did you know you and dh were ready to start a family? __________________ Emily

09-04-2007, 11:01 AM	#2 (permalink)
TheWife Jetgirls Ol' School Member Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Utah Posts: 1,264 Recipes: Thanks: 1 Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts	*Re: How did you know* 3!** There are 2 steps to "knowing". One, you "know" but you resist, so you get a cat. Two, the cat gets boring. Looks like you've covered step one. Good luck. __________________ Michelle~Wife to Corbin 09/09/1999 and Mom to Caleb 05/18/02~Kyla 01/03/05~Bryton 02/03/08

09-04-2007, 12:31 PM	#3 (permalink)
SeatClutcher Jetgirls Ol' School Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Manchester, CT Posts: 882 Recipes: Thanks: 0 Thanked 8 Times in 8 Posts	*Re: How did you know* 3! I wonder if knowing when you ARE ready is the same as knowing when you definitely AREN'T (ever) going to be ready. We decided about a month ago on the latter. For us, it had to do with who we are now, what age we are, what we want to do, and what we don't want to do. As far as "knowing"...I've always known, but as I get a little older, imagining an "oops!" and what that would mean just sort of solidified the NO. __________________ Blog: Reasons to miss New England** "Freedom of choice isn't the same thing as being pro-choice." - said by a voter at the RNC

09-04-2007, 02:46 PM	#4 (permalink)
jr_lenz Jetgirls Ol' School Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Idaho Posts: 823 Recipes: Thanks: 0 Thanked 5 Times in 5 Posts	*Re: How did you know* 3!** you'r late, your boobs hurt someone talks you into peeing on a stick...boom you are now ready to start a family! (thats how it happened for me, of course things got REALLY complated after that) this time around we put a little more thought into it. We knew we wanted another one, but the timing was never good. But I was getting older and the window was getting smaller, so we held or breath and jumped in for round number two! If I think about it I still don't think that we are ready but you are amazed about how ready you really are when it comes down to it. you just do it and dont really think twice about it, once you are in the middle of it __________________ He wasn't sure he wanted a baby sister, but he loved her the moment he saw her.

09-04-2007, 04:02 PM	#5 (permalink)
amelia Jetgirls Plus Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Colorado Posts: 585 Recipes: Thanks: 1 Thanked 7 Times in 7 Posts	*Re: How did you know* 3!** When we met, we both knew we wanted kids and we couldn't wait to start a family. I can't say what point in time I knew for sure I was ready, but it was before I met DH. __________________ Mom to 2 wonderful kids. My Flickr

09-04-2007, 04:32 PM	#6 (permalink)
Anonymous Jetgirls Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 229 Recipes: Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	*Re: How did you know* 3!** What if you found out you were and both of you don't want kids? I am talking about both parties having really strong feelings about NOT wanting kids. And you are scared to tell him the next time you see him because you don't know what will happen or what his reaction will be. He already doesn't like to have sex all the time because of what "might" happen. You are also on the pill to obviously prevent such things from happening. What do you do???

09-04-2007, 06:14 PM	#9 (permalink)
UKcats06 Jetgirls Ol' School Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Erlanger, KY Posts: 657 Recipes: Thanks: 1 Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts	*Re: How did you know* 3!** I think we are ready like as far as our relationship goes, its just getting there financially really. I would like to be more used to his schedule when he started working for an airline, though. I wouldn't be sad if it happened now though by any means. I would like to be a little older, and I would like to go on a cruise before we have one, lol. But its like I think about if I died tomorrow what would I regret the most, and it would be having kids. I know I'm young, but thats how I feel! I think I am going to be really jealous of a baby when we have one though, I really like having ALL of dh's attention. I mean I get jealous of the cats sometimes, lol. But he comes in and picks up the cat and pretends I'm not there. I know that's what he will do with a baby though. I guess I have admitted that I will be jealous, isn's the first step admitting you have a problem? lol __________________ Emily

09-04-2007, 07:59 PM	#10 (permalink)
Rebes Jetgirls Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Reston, Virginia Posts: 248 Recipes: Thanks: 0 Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts	*Re: How did you know* 3!** I don't think there is ever the perfect time to have kids. I know before we had kids I wanted to travel a bit together first, and he wanted to be financially stable. The first part happened, but we found out I was pregnant with our first 2 months after 9/11 and DH's job was in question. Even though timing wasn't great there, I would not have changed anything, having my son probably helped us through a difficult time. __________________ Rebecca, Wife to Continental 757/767 FO (EWR)

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