How did you *know* 3!

[Regina]

Someone once said, "IF you wait until you have kids until you can afford it, you will never have any."

I think it is a personal decision....I wouldn't count on anyone changing their mind; But instead be content with if someone wants children or doesn't want children (yes, people do change their mind, but just don't count on it and be devastated if he or she doesn't change their mind.)

I have always wanted kids, but when it got closer to having one, I got nervous and started wandering if I am really ready. Every baby, I start freaking out thinking I can't do it (especially the first time hubby leaves for a trip after having a baby). Every time, I end up doing fine....(on most days!).

About finances, we have always lived on one income...even when hubby was making only 18,000 at a regional with a baby that had severe medical problems (my oldest will be having a kidney transplant in the next couple of years). Everything has always worked out, and I don't feel deprived (or if I am feeling deprived, it is about the spoiledness in me)...

Everyone is different though...I know some people that wait and wait, and then they have trouble conceiving...or others that think they are ready and go ahead, but end up resenting it because it wasn't them that was ready but of all the people that pushed them into having a baby...

[Adreamer's_wfe]

Originally Posted by jr_lenz

you'r late, your boobs hurt someone talks you into peeing on a stick...boom you are now ready to start a family! (thats how it happened for me, of course things got REALLY complated after that)

LOL

[Amanda]

Originally Posted by Regina

Everyone is different though...I know some people that wait and wait, and then they have trouble conceiving...or others that think they are ready and go ahead, but end up resenting it because it wasn't them that was ready but of all the people that pushed them into having a baby...

I am one of the "wait and wait" situations. Of course it took me a long time to find Nick! And then he wanted all of his ducks in a row before getting engaged. Since we are engaged now the topic of babies has been coming up. I want to have a baby at some point in the next year. I may not have travelled as extensively as I have wanted, but I have been to many places and I am thankful for that. I know I can travel with children but it will be a little more challenging and not as spontaneous.

I also feel like I was able to get the partying/immaturity out of my system. I know friends who had babies when they were younger and are a bit resentful.

Anyway, I guess we'll see what happens in the next year for us!

[Imachickadee75]

Originally Posted by UKcats06

I think we are ready like as far as our relationship goes, its just getting there financially really. I would like to be more used to his schedule when he started working for an airline, though. I wouldn't be sad if it happened now though by any means. I would like to be a little older, and I would like to go on a cruise before we have one, lol. But its like I think about if I died tomorrow what would I regret the most, and it would be having kids. I know I'm young, but thats how I feel!

I think I am going to be really jealous of a baby when we have one though, I really like having ALL of dh's attention. I mean I get jealous of the cats sometimes, lol. But he comes in and picks up the cat and pretends I'm not there. I know that's what he will do with a baby though. I guess I have admitted that I will be jealous, isn's the first step admitting you have a problem? lol

I can definately respond to this one. DH and I were together four years before we got married and waited another 5.5 to decide to have kids -even though we knew we would. We loved being just us. We're best friends. It was a common theme -we'd rather spend time together than with others -that's what was so special about us. We'd have THE TALK every few months "Are you ready for kids?", "No, not really, why are you?" "NO, just checking.". It was usually prompted by some friend getting preg or having a child or an influential family member asking us. We were VERY content with our two canine kids for a long time. Finally, one day, kind of out of the blue, the answer was "yes" for both of us. At the same time I got my opportunity at the hospital with such super flexible hours and great pay that made it seem possible even though DH was still an instructor.

So, I went in for a pre-conception visit with a recommended OB, who suggested I lose a little weight, get off the pill and a blood pressure med I took for migraines. That was April, and we got preg over the 4th of July. The rest is procreation history.

To be honest, our relationship has changed A LOT. And that was hard. But, we just kind of adjusted, just like we have with regional flying. We are still best friends, but our focus just isn't directly on each other any more. But somehow, its okay.

As for the critters, both of our canine kids died while I was preg. We were was absolutely heartbroken. I've come to realize though that it was probably a good thing as I'm not sure they would have handled the baby very well. We got two more who have known nothing but our family with a baby and that has worked out well.

Good luck. Its something you will never regret.

Jackie

[czechmate]

Too many Tequila shots one night and ended up surprised!!!

I really never wanted to have any kids and he was cool with that, but it happened and it's been great. We planned our daughter because everything felt right.

Do what feels right in your heart. But be prepared, it's for forever.

Jen