New baby plans?

[Imachickadee75]

With at least 11 or 12 babies on the way before April (wow! We're a fertile bunch!) I was wondering what people were planning in terms of deliveries, breastfeeding vs bottle, working vs SAHM, etc. This ought to spice things up! I'm sure we strong willed, opinionated women have some strong feelings on this stuff, but ladies LETS KEEP THIS NICE. No flaming or criticism. I'm just curious.

I'll start. With DS I planned a non-med birth b/c my Mom was a natural childbirth educator and frankly I was more afraid of the epidural needle than the childbirth pain. However, I fully expected the pain of childbirth to over-ride that fear and that I would probably BEG for an epi. Well, that wasn't the case at all. So long as DH and I "slow danced" all night -with each contrax I would put my forehead on his chest, he would squat a little to rub my low back, and remind me to breathe and relax I was really and truely fine. After every one, I'd think "am I still okay? Do I need meds?" and everytime I was still okay. It got a little more intense when they made me lay down during transition, but just about then, I got a break and was pushing 20 min later. That didn't really hurt at all. Probably the worse part of the whole experience was that I had some little tears that wouldn't stop bleeding (probably b/c DS was retracting -drawing his diaphram up instead of dropping it down to draw in air, had to be put under oxygen and didn't get to nurse right away) and my doc sewed me up without any anesthetic. That DID hurt, but he was really quick.

I remember just being in total awe of my body after that experience. I had no idea what it was capable of! Oddly enough though, when I got preg last fall, I started worrying about the delivery almost immediately. When I miscarried, I elected not to have a D&C and just let my body do its work. Again, I was amazed at what our bodies are programmed to do and my faith was restored. So this time again, I'm planning a non-med birth. In fact, I've told the doc I want to catch the baby myself. He was all for it and said, "Okay, I've taught hundred's of med students, and nurses how to do it, I think I can teach you." He's so wonderful! So we'll see how it goes.

I breastfed for 15 months when DS weaned himself -the little stink! I guess he couldn't be bothered to take a break from what he was doing at that point! lol I definately plan to breastfeed again, but this time will introduce a little formula in the first 3 months. DS refused all formula no matter how hungry he was and that got kind of sticky a couple of times when DH ran out of frozen breastmilk. So, I'd like this kid to at least be willing to drink it occationally.

We felt pretty strongly about not putting our kids in daycare (felt like someone else was getting to raise our child) so, the first year while DH was still a flight instructor, I only worked double shifts on the weekends while DH kept the baby. It was awesome for ALL of us. Now that DH is with SkyWest, my neighbor across the street keeps DS and still I just work weekends. Financially, its been pretty tough but so far so good. However, we're not quite sure how we're going to swing things with the new baby yet. I'm not sure we can afford for me not to work at all, but my neighbor hasn't offered to keep both kids either. So, I'm still working on that.

Oh, yeah, and if you don't think I'm crazy enough yet, we also have mostly cloth diapered our son. I'd say 75% of the time he's been in cloth. It has saved us a fortune, and those same diaps we bought for $300 can be used again on this baby. I've seen estimates that parents spend upwards of $1500 per child throughout their diapering years on diapers. By the time we're done with these two kids we'll have saved more than two grand right? (if you figure we buy a quarter of what most people do)

So, that's me. What are your thoughts on your babies?

Jackie

[Regina]

Not that I am having a baby right now, but sometime in the future, I am sure we will, so I will answer anyway.

I LOVE my epidurals....if I could have them in the parking lot, I would. Twice the epidurals didn't work, and it was horrible. It is a much more pleasant experience, for me, with the medication. I have back labor, so this eases it immensely.

I have never done the daycare thing, but we haven't needed too. We have lived on one regional pilot income always, even with the 6 kids. I have a nice house, my kids go to private school, a nice minivan, eat well, etc., etc. We still have my school loans, but they are getting paid off little by little.

I have been reading about how parents train themselves to recognize their babies, even newborns, need to use the bathroom and not soiling diapers...I would love to try that, but I don't like to clean messes either. So, although children are potty trained much earlier with cloth diapers, I am sticking with the convenience of throw away disposables. Maybe a few more kids down the road, I will end up trying the whole parent training idea. I have a weak stomach though, so even when I change my kids diapers, I end up gagging and almost vomiting at almost every dirty diaper. I don't know if I could handle the thought of doing all the extra laundry.

My last 2 I nursed for 9 months, but I hate nursing...I do like the closeness that I have with the baby, the health benefits, etc., but it just isn't for everyone and I am one of those people that it isn't for...I will probably nurse during the day for any future ones, but formula at night. I nursed my other ones or pumped for about 5-6 months.

All in all, I think that what works for one doesn't work for all. Just like having kids...I am sure not everyone wants 6 kids, but it works for us. I wouldn't want someone that wouldn't want to have kids to even have 1. I actually admire the people that decide not to because they just realize it is not for them more than the people that have kids just because everyone else is doing it (and then never spend time or attention on that child because they are resentful).

[Imachickadee75]

Hey Regina! Are any of your kids multiples? How far apart are they? Did you guys always plan on having a large family? What influenced you?

Jackie

[roz]

I hear you on the 15 months--that's what I had. He could not even tolerate any food until 11 months. He had no teeth until then--then a whole bunch of teeth arrived at once and he could tolerate food. Amazing, huh?

Sometimes that's the way it is for our children. Their systems can't tolerate other things. So, I didn't rush it to be more convenient--I worked full time so I had a lot of stress too. I made sure I expressed a lot so there would never be a shortage.

Relax, it will all work out!

[Imachickadee75]

Originally Posted by roz

Sometimes that's the way it is for our children. Their systems can't tolerate other things. So, I didn't rush it to be more convenient--I worked full time so I had a lot of stress too. I made sure I expressed a lot so there would never be a shortage.

Relax, it will all work out!

I did pump, but God! I hated it! I had a great pump and everything but I never seemed to pump all that much. It really threatened to undermine my confidence, especially as DS was underweight. But, even when he went to solids he stayed that way. He just has an amazing metabolism.

Jackie

[roz]

If you didn't pump that much--did you ever get a let down pumping?

[TheWife]

I had thought I could do a natural birth, but with both kids, labor started with my water breaking and no cxs so I had about 8+ hours of pitocin and couldn't do it w/o the epi. So we'll see what happens this time.

We will be on formula this 100% from the start. I b/f Caleb for 3 weeks and Kyla for 3 months, and I just honestly hated it, every bit of it. I felt very relieved when I stopped w/ Kyla and decided to never do it again, and I'm fine with that, and my kids are still smart, cute and healthy

I'll continue to SAH, with maybe a few little side projects but nothing big.

Both kids have potty trained at 2, not too bad, but I think I'll start even earlier next time, and I think I'll do cloth at home, disposable away from home.

[Imachickadee75]

Originally Posted by roz

If you didn't pump that much--did you ever get a let down pumping?

Oh, yeah, same kind of let down I'd get nursing. I'll never know if I only produced that much (approx 2oz per side per let down) when DS nursed or not but as I said it was stressful to see so little coming out, knowing that DS depended on it when I was at work. The way I did it was I'd pump one side every morning while he ate on the other. Then on the weekends at work I'd pump about every two hours both breasts. That sounds like a lot, and I guess it was but DS would only nurse furiously on one side for about 5-10min every two hours. He was always satisfied and although I would offer the other was always done. So by pumping both sides so frequently I hoped to keep my supply up.

I ate well and thoughtfully, drank lots of water -all the things they tell you to do. I didn't even work out in fear that my supply would drop (which for most women is not a realistic concern) I suspect that the stress of pumping reduced my output somewhat.

Like I said, DS fell off the weight charts at 9months but by that time he was also eating solids. From that point on, he got avacado at least twice a day, butter on and in everything and after 1 year, Carnation Instant Breakfast in his milk at night. We even visited with a nutritionist at 16 months, who suggested lots of pasta with alfredo sauce, and a few other high calorie, high fat options. But, he developed very normally, and that's the concern with low weight kids -will there be enough body fat to support neurological growth? In his case, he was ahead on lots of things and now at 2.5 is talking in complete sentances more like a 4 yo. He made it back on the charts at his 2 year visit. However, that is simply because while he is still slowly gaining, most toddlers his age plateau for awhile. He weighs about 27 lbs now.

Oh, yeah, the other thing was that while I was preg with him, it was like I was being sucked dry from the inside out. The fatigue was amazing. He took everything I had. I ate ice cream every night, and had a co-worker who brought me a baked good or candy bar everyday. Where I normally eat my vegetables first, they almost never got eaten as I'd eat seconds of the protein and carb first. I still only gained 22 lbs -and weighed 4 lbs less after I had him than when I got preg. I actually gained 6-8 lbs after I had him -even breastfeeding. So, his metabolism is just very fast and he'll probably always be lean (lucky him!)


Jackie

[jr_lenz]

I had an epi w/ the first (however I was in labor for 36 hours, and I gave up 24 hrs into it and went for the meds). I'm sure that if I get to the point with this one, I will have another one. if I can do it with out one thats fine, if I can't I have no problem with pain meds. I won't do the stadol again, when I had that I felt like I was drunk and in labor, it was a horrible feeling and was so happy when it wore off!

With DS I couldn't nurse, he was early and born with out a suck reflex, he couldn't even take a bottel, we had to feed him with a cup, by the time we got him sucking trying to get him on the breast was too much of a fight, so I pumped for three months, then went to formula. have mixed feelings about nursing this time, I'm sure I will start with it and see how it goes.

As for everything else, I am pretty average. the baby with go to my mom's I will work full time. However, when DH salary goes up I may back off a little, something I didn't have the chance to do with DS, but know that I would enjoy the chance. DS went to daycare his entire life, he started at a in-home then into pre-school at three. When we moved back to my home town, he started going to my parents. We have never had a negative expierence with daycare, and don't regret in one bit. I have taken an honest look at myself, and know that I wouldn't do good at being a SAHM. I wouldn't mind trying the part time, but I like the proffessional part of me, and don't want to lose that right now.

In my moments of thinking about parenting I have come to this conclusion about my life. Right now I feel like I need to work, not just b/c of supporting the family, but to build a secure future for us. In my life I feel like I either need to work now, or work later when my kids would be older. I choose to work right now. I know where my son is, I know who is hanging out with and have control on how well he is taken care of. I would rather not work when my children are tweeners and teenagers. B/C I feel that it is more important for me too be home then, to know where they are after school, who they are hanging out with, and possibly be the house where they can gather and hang out. Yes I know that it is completley possible to raise teenagers and work, and I may do it that way. I am just saying that if I have to chose to stay home now or later, I would choose later.

[Imachickadee75]

[quote=Regina;41751]Not that I am having a baby right now, but sometime in the future, I am sure we will, so I will answer anyway.

I LOVE my epidurals....if I could have them in the parking lot, I would. Twice the epidurals didn't work, and it was horrible. It is a much more pleasant experience, for me, with the medication. I have back labor, so this eases it immensely.
quote]

Ha! Regina! So much for not being pregnant huh? I wonder if you really knew -hmmmmm?

Here's a hot topic question for you. And again, I'm not looking for a fight just looking for opinions.

I've had a lot of women say what you did about the epi not working and the pain being intolerable. They use that as their reasoning that they would never try a delivery unmedicated -the pain without the epi working, or kicking out was unbearable. I wonder each time -especially in women who have it kick out -how they would have done if they had experienced and managed the contrax as they grew instead of being hit head on and full force well into the delivery? I believe that had I not been so successful with the early smaller contrax I could not have coped with the stronger later ones. I don't know if its a tolerance, or a endorphin, or a learning curve thing but I still wonder.

Any thoughts?

Jackie