Family Meal Time (with kids)

[jamauk]

When I was raised, we ALWAYS had a family meal in the evening. Even if we had to wait until after my volleyball practice or my brother's track meets. In the rare event that we weren't able to all sit down together there was usually chili in a pot on the stove or something in the crockpot that we could eat when we wanted.

I always promised myself that I would do the same for my kids. I think its important to have family meals. My question is this: 1. Does anyone else feel the same way? 2. How do you do it?

While dh is away, I get so burnt out by 6 or 7 pm that I sometimes count the minutes until my son goes to bed (usually by 7:30) and then I look forward to sitting down to a quiet meal by myself. When dh is home we often use dinner as our own quiet couple time. So, as you can see, the family meal seems to have been tossed out the window! [img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] Any advice?

[TheWife]

I totally agree with you! I would have gotten in to a lot less trouble as a teenager if I was expected to be home for dinner. It's hard to sit down and eat in front of your parents when you are trying to hide something! We NEVER ate together in my teen years so I could hide a lot more!

On days that dh won't be there for dinner, I usually just have a salad and soup or something like that, and then I make Caleb what ever he might eat, and we still sit down and eat together. For when dh IS home, I have a lot of freezer meals. I have been doing it for like 4 months now and it is soooo nice! I spend one day making about a month's worth of meals. (Now, that doesn't mean 30 meals, cause you have leftovers, and days w/o dh, etc., so it's probably about 15 meals but I don't have to cook big ones again for a month.) I got a book with some really good tips and recipes, and I pretty much let the dish thaw and put it in the oven for an hour. And I spend one day a week chopping salad veggies and then I store them in a container, so I can make a salad in like 2 seconds any time. Then add some instant mashed potatoes or stuffing or something, and dinner is usually less then 15 minutes of prep a night. Hope that is helpful! Good luck!

[roz]

We have ALWAYS had family meals. When my son was on two hockey teams we managed with me cooking in advance as much as possible. I hate frozen foods, so it has to be made that day or two days in advance maximum. I'd make a stew on Sunday, a pot of sauce and meat for pasta, etc. Everything I cook is from scratch so I have to do it that way. Sometimes if he had a 7 PM game, we'd have a snack and then have dinner at 10 PM. Whatever worked--we were together.

I cherished those chats with my son. He is honest to this day with me because of it. And he shares things with me because of it. And he feels comfortable with me because of it.

Tonight we had crab cakes made with whole wheat panko, kamut veggie spiral pasta with a balsamic-garlic dressing and grilled veggies (zuchinni, red onion, yellow pepper, jalapeno pepper).

Oh, and Charlie cooked tonight's meal. As I mentioned on another board, when Charlie is home he likes to cook. He gets up at 6 AM to make me breakfast. He packs my lunch. And he makes dinner or has it prepped for me while he's at Aikido (he has a bunch of black belts in that on top of all his scuba stuff).

But that's what makes a 25 year marriage!

[skibum515]

In my family we didn't *always* have a family dinner, but we did have it pretty often, like 3 or 4 days a week. It was a lot more frequent when I was young, but as my brother and I started to get into various activities it became less frequent. When my bro started playing soccer and my mom was with him at practice twice a week in the evenings my dad and I would usually go out to dinner together. I really cherished those times because it was nice having dad all to myself without everyone else around. When we got older, dinner was usually served around 6:30 or so, and if you could be home (ie not at rehersal, practice whatever) you were expected to be there, or to have called and said otherwise.

I think family dinners are a great idea. my mom usually cooked because she's a teacher and so she had a few hours to rest after work before making dinner, though sometimes my dad would make dinner when he came home (usually something on the grill).

Now I actually find myself missing those dinners since i've been at college I usually don't make myself a nice dinner more than once a week or once every two weeks. I usually have a sandwich or Mac n cheese or something eequally easy to make. If i do take the time to cook something, i don't do all of the sides like my mom does, so it's not very good.

[lrcantrell]

I grew up always having family dinners. I agree with what others said, there's no way I could hide stuff if I was sitting across from my parents every night looking them in the face. It kept me out of trouble. As for now, my kids are so young that right now I have a table set up in their room that they like to eat dinner at. They seem to eat more of their meals sitting there then me trying to make them sit at a table for any period of time. I'm planning on doing family dinners though once they get alittle more older where they can sit for awhile and not go stircrazy. I figure, while they're young dh and I don't ever get quality/quiet time together so we try and grab it at those dinners when he's home. When the kids are older and going to school full time then dh and I will have alot more time alone so we can share our meals with the kids.

[Kristie]

I think it's very important to have family meals at least till their 15 or so... It keeps the family connection on an even playing surface and the kids will always have the impression that it's a time when anything can be talked about (kinda like a round table of sorts).

we had family meals till I was about 12 and my younger brother (youngest of us 3) was 8..after that, my mom went back to work and my sister and I would make frozen pizza, mac & cheese, spagetti or something simple or my dad would make meatloaf and/or chili that was too hot for us to eat... of course, my mom still cooked some meals, but she usually ended up getting home later than us and seemed pretty cranky on most work nights. So, I really value sitting down and eating as a family. Douag and I do that every other week or so but since it's just the two of us, we don't enforce often enough....

plus, our living room is a pool hall (with a dining table top that can seat 12) and it seems way too large for just the two of us to eat at! hahaha

[jamauk]

WOW!! I didn't expect so many responses! I'm glad to get everyone's feedback!
Tonight I set a spot for me and Ben at the table and my picky little eater ate all of his broccoli and half of my chicken (sauteed in Caribbean Jerk sauce). Who'd have guessed having Mommy sitting right next to him would have made him eat MORE! I thought he would have been more defiant with me right there and refused everything!
I guess I didn't give my little guy enough credit!
Thanks again for all of the responses! Now...let's see if I have the follow through to make this a daily event!! [img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]