S-E-X Talk

[Adreamer's_wfe]

Our seven year old told DH yesterday morning that she knew what
S-E-X was and that it is bad. He of course, said nothing and told me that night while I was cleaning up dinner.

I got online, read all the advice, and ordered four books from Amazon on the subjuct, one was about how little girls should take care of their bodies. Once the books come, we are going to read the books as family and then let her keep the books so she can look at them whenever she needs (she is a first grader with a third grade reading level, so she will be able to read them herself.)

I talked to her last night - asked what she knew, which was nothing, and talked to her. I explained that sex is a body process, that adults do it, it is not bad, but it is private, like going to the bathroom. I told her about the books and that we would talk about it more when the books came.

Yes, we did just have a baby, which seems like a good time to start the talk, but at the time she did not ask how the baby got there - just how the baby got out. Since I was having a C-section, I just told her the DR. was going to cut open my tummy and take her out - which seemed enough for her.

So, for those of you that have been down this path - any advice?

[i2r2]

Oh boy, I can't wait until it is my turn. NOT! We haven't had any of those questions yet but I do remember my sister laughing about her first S-E-X talk with her son. She knew that it was coming and was all ready. When he asked a question she went into a full fledged sex talk. He looked at her and didn't say a word and didn't ask another question for years. Her advice to me was just to answer the question that is asked and not to get too specific. I think she scared the poor kid.

Good luck!

Nancy

[roz]

I agree with Nancy. Just keep it on their level. Just because they use the word "sex" doesn't mean they know what it means and want to know all about it. She's way young. Just keep it at it's a way mommy's and daddy's love each other. She can relate to that.

[Bigsweetie]

Wow! It's a different world from when I was growing up! I don't remember enquiring about sex til I was 11 or 12. I am so not looking forward to this talk with Emily someday LOL!

My best friend in college told me that she lost her virginity at 10 years old because she was curious! Scary!

Good luck with your talk! Let us know how it goes for those of us behind you

[Adreamer's_wfe]

Originally Posted by i2r2

She knew that it was coming and was all ready. When he asked a question she went into a full fledged sex talk.

I purposely told Emily very little when she asked how they would get the baby out. I figured if her question was not answered, she would ask more, she didn't. I am going to look the books over and decide which one to use first, that is why I bought 4! I do not want to scare her, or overwhelm her, but I want to give her the information, not the kids on the playground.

I asked her where she had heard the word sex - Sex in the City - I watch it after she goes to bed. She came in one night and I told her she needed to go back to bed, it was a bad show for her to watch. Since she is such an outstanding reader, she can read it now too...

Keep the advice coming...

[POPPY]

Thank you for starting this thread! I have a 6&7 yr old girls. My 7 year old has been reading the TV guide on the TV since she was 5. She came across Sex In the City and said basically the same thing your daughter said when she was 6! I freaked and basically took away TV and will not let her use the remote anymore! But I know I need to begin to open up this converstation, I just don't know how!

Please let me know which books your orderded and what you think about them. I was overwhelmed with the choices when I looked once and didn't know what to get!

[Adreamer's_wfe]

It's So Amazing!: A Book about Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families
It's Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health
</SPAN> Where Did I Come From?
The Care & Keeping of You: The Body Book for Girls (American Girl Library )

Now that I know her knowledge is based on the title of a TV show, I will probably take a different approach. I am hoping that the Care & Keeping book will be really good, and that is what I will start with. I think that the first title hits on gay families - the family next door is two women and their son - which Emily has never really questioned, but that book may be a front runner too. As I was typing this she asked when the books are going to get here.

Next she will be finding out about Santa - this bites!!!

[Eastbayk]

My son is 4 and we've been talking about this for about 6 months already. It all started when he started asking for a sibling.

At this point he knows that daddies have "magic fishes" and mommies have eggs and when they combine, they make a baby that grows in the mommy's tummy. He did make the comment one time that "1 squid +1 egg = 1 baby", which was pretty funny. Two books that we really like that are written for the age group are: It Wasn't The Stork and Mommy Laid An Egg. He loves to look at them both. We also talked about body privacy and that sex is something that mommies and daddies do and one day he might want to do it to. We left it at that.

We figured that the earlier we started talking about it, the easier and less mysterious it would be. That way, when it comes time to talk about restraint and birth control, it won't be so embaressing for us. But we did wait until HE asked about it. We didn't plan a special time for it, but we could tell the questions were coming. Luckily he sprung it on us in the car so he couldn't see us giggling and blushing as we answered his questions.

I think it's easier to talk about when you've planned for it ahead of time and know what you want to say. That way you aren't sputtering for answers or later wishing you had or hadn't said something.

Good luck!

[Adreamer's_wfe]

It is the loss of innocence that breaks my heart. She will have to deal with it for the rest of her life, now it is unknown, and she doesn't have a care. I am not embarrassed, I am sure my DH will want to shrivel up and die, but I want my kids to talk to my, so I will be open.

[Kristie]

why is it that most parents are embarassed to talk about something that's so normal? everyone's gonna "do it" at some point. it's really more about protection than anything now a days...

i mean, you have no choice but to deal with things like your daughter getting her first period.. why not introduce it early before she even starts questioning or getting concerned that things are changing and people are looking at her "weird"?