Why is it that men are sometimes so insensitive??

Kristie · 03-04-2005, 08:44 AM

I requested today off from work (like a month ago) so DH and I could go travel someplace...DH is on duty till noon in ATL...I checked loads and we can't seem to get anywhere, that we want to go, relatively easy ( even domestically - i guess spring break is starting?) and if it's not *easy*, DH doesn't want to even attempt it - why? cuz he'd rather be home this weekend (I've been home over a month now and seriously itching to GO)...Because plans have changed, DH is going to fly home instead of me flying out there, so, I figured I'd work a full day today and take Monday off instead so we could enjoy a long weekend together and spend a bit more time than we're usually able to (since I'm one of those 9-5 worker bees)...[img]images/graemlins/874.gif[/img]

well, talking on the phone last night, as we were talking about what to do this weekend, he mumbled "I don't even KNOW why your taking Monday off" and it just seemed like he said that comment because we weren't going to be traveling anywhere via plane.

I decided to just blow it off as a "stupid thing to say cuz I switched Friday to Monday cuz your HOME on Monday (for YOU)...dummyhead" but now it's really kinda bothering me.[img]images/graemlins/299.gif[/img] [img]images/graemlins/speechless-smiley-017.gif[/img]

I mean, I have to reserve time off a month ahead of time in order to NOT piss my boss off, which lately, my traveling is pissing her off - why? I dunno.. I make up the time (so I don't use too much vacation at once to affect the bottom line)...maybe she's jealous because I don't have 3 unruly kids and I don't work *on my own time* 24/7 and I have the ability to travel anytime... [img]images/graemlins/453.gif[/img] but I digress...I'm not even going to go there...

Since I reserved the time, I feel that I should take it anyways because I can't take it anyother time since these are "reserved dates".. but NOW, I kinda feel like taking this afternoon off (we do half day friday's) as "JFM" (Just For Me) time ([img]images/graemlins/floridagator.gif[/img]) and working 1/2 day on monday because it feels like DH doesn't want me around on his "full day off while i'm usually at work" type thing [img]images/graemlins/965.gif[/img]

maybe it's just me and I'm just being overly sensitive cuz it's *that* time of the month (I know, we should never use THAT as an excuse! [img]images/graemlins/rotflol.gif[/img]) or maybe I just don't understand it at the moment but it's just frazzling me some cuz I work SO hard to schedule the time off and fight with my (worker bee's must work hard) company to be able to even use my flex days and he just doesn't get the fact that most of the time I reserve off I do so to meet HIS frackin schedule so we can travel together or just have MORE time in the same room together...

I tell ya, if not for a flex schedule at my office and his getting mostly weekends off lately, I'd probably never see him.

So why does he have to be a pisser in my morning coffee when I see my taking a day off to spend with him as a good thing for our relationship? [img]images/graemlins/java.gif[/img] [img]images/graemlins/boohoo.gif[/img] [img]images/graemlins/banghead.gif[/img]

Brenda · 03-04-2005, 10:27 AM

Wow Kiristie, you sure had a lot to say. First off, your boss is jealous that you have no kids and can travel at the drop of a hat..well, on your days OFF. What does she care what you do on your own time?
As for traveling...Spring break has begun! Flights are crazy! Is Doug done is ATL? Can you meet him there and do something there even if you've done it before? Or why don't you get in the car and drive someplace not to far away? Urgh...I'll have to continue this in a bit, I have dogs barking wanting to come in, kids fighting over airplanes, as if they don't have enough of them to play with, and hubby just got home from a 3 day. [img]images/graemlins/banghead.gif[/img] I NEVER get tiome to myself, and when I do I am soooo tired.
To be continued....

marriedanaviator · 03-04-2005, 10:49 AM

Kristie,

So if you take a half-day Friday and a half-day Monday will Doug then ask you on Monday as you're getting ready for work "why are you going in" and "why couldn't you have just taken the day off?". That's how it would happen with my husabnd. Maybe Doug is just having a "moody" day...Will has those once in a while, but will never admit to it! By Monday he will be regretting he said you should work that day and be wishing you were home with him or out taking a beautiful drive somewhere with him...don't ya think?

I guess what I'm saying is don't go into work out of spite becuase that just makes you miss out on a day off! You know what I mean? [img]images/graemlins/874.gif[/img]

Karla

Brenda · 03-04-2005, 02:54 PM

Okay, back for who knows how long. Eric is entertaining them for a bit. I think what Doug might have is PFS. Similar to PMS, but is is Pre and Post flight syndrome. Guys can pick up from your cycle too, you said you're a bit PMS??? hmm.. see? Don't worry about it, maybe you just make all the plans so that he doesn't have to think about it and say okay hunny we are doing this this and that. Or, since it is Spring break, maybe it isn't such a good time to travel. Go for the night to really nice hotel. Hell, you don't have KIDS!!! be creative.
Oh, as for you feeling a bit sensitive to him not wanting you around for the full day, I doubt that's how he feels. Everyone likes to have a bit of quiet time at home, ALONE. Eric does it to me and I can't understand why he would rather be at the computer the first day back instead of on the couch or in bed with me. I'm telling ya, observe it every month, and see if he gets a bit moody. PFS
It'll be okay. Let us know what you decide to do this weekend!

skibum515 · 03-04-2005, 04:02 PM

I don't know if it's a legit PFS, but I've witnessed every one of my guy friends "cycle" like how girls do. It's usually a bit longer of a time period but once every two or three months John gets in this funk where he's like, STFU and leave me alone. He gets kind of bitchy at those points and I just have to let him be by himself and work it out. he usually ends up taking a day or two and then is normal again...maybe doug is just "PMSing" on his own hormones!

Kristie · 03-04-2005, 08:10 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Brenda said:
Wow Kiristie, you sure had a lot to say. First off, your boss is jealous that you have no kids and can travel at the drop of a hat..well, on your days OFF. What does she care what you do on your own time?

[/ QUOTE ] The only reason she cares is because sometimes I take a friday or a friday and a monday - which might affect her scheduling.. but if I put my time in and do my 40 hrs, then technically, it doesn't affect a whole heck of a lot...I can't travel using just a saturday and a sunday, for most anywhere i want to go, that just won't work.. so sometimes I bite the bullet and ask to use my flex schedule so i can use my travel priveledges and i guess she's just having a harder time with it - more than she used to... it didn't use to make a difference as long as I got all my time in...

needless to say, i can't take off spontaneously anymore - I have to put in my "request" a month ahead of time now which kindof bites because I really don't know what the loads will be until the week to the day of travel...

but that's just how it goes in a 9-5 world...

it could be worse, i could not have flex hours at all or the ability to take off on a friday/monday. If i worked for the city or govt, that's how it'd be...The only reason I stay with this company is cuz the team I work with is a good team and because of the flex hours...they're revamping (oh oh) the employee handbook right now, so most of hte benefits we used to have, we don't have anymore.. one of these days, i'll probably see a statement in there about how the office will not tolerate flex hours anymore.. at that point, i'll be looking for a new job. [img]images/graemlins/speechless-smiley-017.gif[/img]

honestly, my job isn't all that bad...I just really appreciate the flexibility it offers...

ok.. done venting! [img]images/graemlins/grinning-smiley-044.gif[/img]

PFSing, i'd never heard of that before! but you could be right.. normally he's all "WAY" to close to me as soon as he gets home and i'm the one that's like BTFU cuz it takes time to switch from independent to wifey/dependent ...kinda weird when it's the other way around.. hahahaha

guess I'll chalk it up to that and stop thinking about it so much! Your right Karla, I shouldn't go to work in spite.. but if he wants some alone time, then i should keep working as many hours as i can, so i can take off another time... ya'll are probably right! I'm putting way tooooo much into it! GAH, sometimes it's hated to be a "girl"

THANKS!! I feel better [img]images/graemlins/874.gif[/img] [img]images/graemlins/874.gif[/img]

trigeek · 03-04-2005, 09:21 PM

[img]images/graemlins/LOL.gif[/img] [img]images/graemlins/LOL.gif[/img]

PFS I love it!!!! I'm going to start using that when Josh is being a pain in the butt. Revenge is mine.
[img]images/graemlins/rotflol.gif[/img]

Kristie · 03-08-2005, 01:26 PM

So anyways, it was a "totally me" thing this weekend (I gotta stop thinking so hard and trying to make sure everyone else is happy!)...I think at some point in your life, you start feeling maternially guilty about trying to please yourself when you know the other person isn't going to be all that happy with the situation (ie: leaving the house)...but I should have run on my instincts and stayed home instead of leaving. I probably would have had a better time to be honest.. hahaha

We ended up flying to SLC then down to LAS for a night. We had an "ok" at best time, I think we're just now getting to the point where things like that are no longer satisfying and a nice stay on the beach in LA would have been preferrable...

granted, we didn't gamble much because doug ran into a long lost high school buddy and we all ended up talking till WAY too early in the morning.. so doug and I didn't get to spend much time together... but it was nice for him to be able to see someone he hadn't seen in a long time! [img]images/graemlins/grinning-smiley-044.gif[/img]

the worst was the 8 HOUR drive back to phx - the traffic through the hoover dam area was just atrocious!! [img]images/graemlins/banghead.gif[/img]
but learning this stuff as you go makes it all better! [img]images/graemlins/grinning-smiley-044.gif[/img]

us girls are so totally weird that even we don't know what's happening most of the time! [img]images/graemlins/banghead.gif[/img]

TheWife · 04-11-2005, 11:20 PM

[ QUOTE ]
I don't know if it's a legit PFS, but I've witnessed every one of my guy friends "cycle" like how girls do. It's usually a bit longer of a time period but once every two or three months John gets in this funk where he's like, STFU and leave me alone. He gets kind of bitchy at those points and I just have to let him be by himself and work it out. he usually ends up taking a day or two and then is normal again...maybe doug is just "PMSing" on his own hormones!

[/ QUOTE ] I know for a 100% fact that that is so true! Corbin will admit 100% when he is "cycling". He is a pretty pleasant person even when I am yelling and hollering at him except about once every two months, for like 2 or 3 days, anything will set him off! You should have seen the fit he threw yesterday because he swore *I* took his razor recharger. Found it in HIS stuff later and he was still too pouty to apologize for ripping me a new one. He totally admits to having a cycle and says as soon I realize it's his "time", I should be extra sensitive and kind to him! LOL

Lurker · 04-12-2005, 12:43 AM

Read the book - 'Why men don't listen and women can't read maps'....what you describe is just men going into their caves. Once you get this and know how you should be when he does this - its no problem.

03-04-2005, 08:44 AM	#1 (permalink)
Kristie Admin/Owner Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Scottsdale, Arizona Posts: 6,630 Recipes: Thanks: 7 Thanked 17 Times in 17 Posts	Why is it that men are sometimes so insensitive?? I requested today off from work (like a month ago) so DH and I could go travel someplace...DH is on duty till noon in ATL...I checked loads and we can't seem to get anywhere, that we want to go, relatively easy ( even domestically - i guess spring break is starting?) and if it's not easy, DH doesn't want to even attempt it - why? cuz he'd rather be home this weekend (I've been home over a month now and seriously itching to GO)...Because plans have changed, DH is going to fly home instead of me flying out there, so, I figured I'd work a full day today and take Monday off instead so we could enjoy a long weekend together and spend a bit more time than we're usually able to (since I'm one of those 9-5 worker bees)...[img]images/graemlins/874.gif[/img] well, talking on the phone last night, as we were talking about what to do this weekend, he mumbled "I don't even KNOW why your taking Monday off" and it just seemed like he said that comment because we weren't going to be traveling anywhere via plane. I decided to just blow it off as a "stupid thing to say cuz I switched Friday to Monday cuz your HOME on Monday (for YOU)...dummyhead" but now it's really kinda bothering me.[img]images/graemlins/299.gif[/img] [img]images/graemlins/speechless-smiley-017.gif[/img] I mean, I have to reserve time off a month ahead of time in order to NOT piss my boss off, which lately, my traveling is pissing her off - why? I dunno.. I make up the time (so I don't use too much vacation at once to affect the bottom line)...maybe she's jealous because I don't have 3 unruly kids and I don't work on my own time 24/7 and I have the ability to travel anytime... [img]images/graemlins/453.gif[/img] but I digress...I'm not even going to go there... Since I reserved the time, I feel that I should take it anyways because I can't take it anyother time since these are "reserved dates".. but NOW, I kinda feel like taking this afternoon off (we do half day friday's) as "JFM" (Just For Me) time ([img]images/graemlins/floridagator.gif[/img]) and working 1/2 day on monday because it feels like DH doesn't want me around on his "full day off while i'm usually at work" type thing [img]images/graemlins/965.gif[/img] maybe it's just me and I'm just being overly sensitive cuz it's that time of the month (I know, we should never use THAT as an excuse! [img]images/graemlins/rotflol.gif[/img]) or maybe I just don't understand it at the moment but it's just frazzling me some cuz I work SO hard to schedule the time off and fight with my (worker bee's must work hard) company to be able to even use my flex days and he just doesn't get the fact that most of the time I reserve off I do so to meet HIS frackin schedule so we can travel together or just have MORE time in the same room together... I tell ya, if not for a flex schedule at my office and his getting mostly weekends off lately, I'd probably never see him. So why does he have to be a pisser in my morning coffee when I see my taking a day off to spend with him as a good thing for our relationship? [img]images/graemlins/java.gif[/img] [img]images/graemlins/boohoo.gif[/img] [img]images/graemlins/banghead.gif[/img]

03-04-2005, 10:27 AM	#2 (permalink)
Brenda Jetgirls Plus Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: EVV Posts: 1,209 Recipes: Thanks: 11 Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts	Re: Why is it that men are sometimes so insensitive?? Wow Kiristie, you sure had a lot to say. First off, your boss is jealous that you have no kids and can travel at the drop of a hat..well, on your days OFF. What does she care what you do on your own time? As for traveling...Spring break has begun! Flights are crazy! Is Doug done is ATL? Can you meet him there and do something there even if you've done it before? Or why don't you get in the car and drive someplace not to far away? Urgh...I'll have to continue this in a bit, I have dogs barking wanting to come in, kids fighting over airplanes, as if they don't have enough of them to play with, and hubby just got home from a 3 day. [img]images/graemlins/banghead.gif[/img] I NEVER get tiome to myself, and when I do I am soooo tired. To be continued....

03-04-2005, 10:49 AM	#3 (permalink)
marriedanaviator Jetgirls Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Avondale, AZ Posts: 87 Recipes: Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: Why is it that men are sometimes so insensitiv Kristie, So if you take a half-day Friday and a half-day Monday will Doug then ask you on Monday as you're getting ready for work "why are you going in" and "why couldn't you have just taken the day off?". That's how it would happen with my husabnd. Maybe Doug is just having a "moody" day...Will has those once in a while, but will never admit to it! By Monday he will be regretting he said you should work that day and be wishing you were home with him or out taking a beautiful drive somewhere with him...don't ya think? I guess what I'm saying is don't go into work out of spite becuase that just makes you miss out on a day off! You know what I mean? [img]images/graemlins/874.gif[/img] Karla

03-04-2005, 02:54 PM	#4 (permalink)
Brenda Jetgirls Plus Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: EVV Posts: 1,209 Recipes: Thanks: 11 Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts	Re: Why is it that men are sometimes so insensitiv Okay, back for who knows how long. Eric is entertaining them for a bit. I think what Doug might have is PFS. Similar to PMS, but is is Pre and Post flight syndrome. Guys can pick up from your cycle too, you said you're a bit PMS??? hmm.. see? Don't worry about it, maybe you just make all the plans so that he doesn't have to think about it and say okay hunny we are doing this this and that. Or, since it is Spring break, maybe it isn't such a good time to travel. Go for the night to really nice hotel. Hell, you don't have KIDS!!! be creative. Oh, as for you feeling a bit sensitive to him not wanting you around for the full day, I doubt that's how he feels. Everyone likes to have a bit of quiet time at home, ALONE. Eric does it to me and I can't understand why he would rather be at the computer the first day back instead of on the couch or in bed with me. I'm telling ya, observe it every month, and see if he gets a bit moody. PFS It'll be okay. Let us know what you decide to do this weekend!

03-04-2005, 04:02 PM	#5 (permalink)
skibum515 Jetgirls Ol' School Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Park City Posts: 1,247 Recipes: Thanks: 2 Thanked 9 Times in 9 Posts	Re: Why is it that men are sometimes so insensitiv I don't know if it's a legit PFS, but I've witnessed every one of my guy friends "cycle" like how girls do. It's usually a bit longer of a time period but once every two or three months John gets in this funk where he's like, STFU and leave me alone. He gets kind of bitchy at those points and I just have to let him be by himself and work it out. he usually ends up taking a day or two and then is normal again...maybe doug is just "PMSing" on his own hormones!

03-04-2005, 08:10 PM	#6 (permalink)
Kristie Admin/Owner Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Scottsdale, Arizona Posts: 6,630 Recipes: Thanks: 7 Thanked 17 Times in 17 Posts	Re: Why is it that men are sometimes so insensitive?? [ QUOTE ] *Brenda said:* Wow Kiristie, you sure had a lot to say. First off, your boss is jealous that you have no kids and can travel at the drop of a hat..well, on your days OFF. What does she care what you do on your own time? [/ QUOTE ] The only reason she cares is because sometimes I take a friday or a friday and a monday - which might affect her scheduling.. but if I put my time in and do my 40 hrs, then technically, it doesn't affect a whole heck of a lot...I can't travel using just a saturday and a sunday, for most anywhere i want to go, that just won't work.. so sometimes I bite the bullet and ask to use my flex schedule so i can use my travel priveledges and i guess she's just having a harder time with it - more than she used to... it didn't use to make a difference as long as I got all my time in... needless to say, i can't take off spontaneously anymore - I have to put in my "request" a month ahead of time now which kindof bites because I really don't know what the loads will be until the week to the day of travel... but that's just how it goes in a 9-5 world... it could be worse, i could not have flex hours at all or the ability to take off on a friday/monday. If i worked for the city or govt, that's how it'd be...The only reason I stay with this company is cuz the team I work with is a good team and because of the flex hours...they're revamping (oh oh) the employee handbook right now, so most of hte benefits we used to have, we don't have anymore.. one of these days, i'll probably see a statement in there about how the office will not tolerate flex hours anymore.. at that point, i'll be looking for a new job. [img]images/graemlins/speechless-smiley-017.gif[/img] honestly, my job isn't all that bad...I just really appreciate the flexibility it offers... ok.. done venting! [img]images/graemlins/grinning-smiley-044.gif[/img] PFSing, i'd never heard of that before! but you could be right.. normally he's all "WAY" to close to me as soon as he gets home and i'm the one that's like BTFU cuz it takes time to switch from independent to wifey/dependent ...kinda weird when it's the other way around.. hahahaha guess I'll chalk it up to that and stop thinking about it so much! Your right Karla, I shouldn't go to work in spite.. but if he wants some alone time, then i should keep working as many hours as i can, so i can take off another time... ya'll are probably right! I'm putting way tooooo much into it! GAH, sometimes it's hated to be a "girl" THANKS!! I feel better [img]images/graemlins/874.gif[/img] [img]images/graemlins/874.gif[/img]

03-04-2005, 09:21 PM	#7 (permalink)
trigeek Jetgirls Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Colorado Springs, CO Posts: 172 Recipes: Thanks: 1 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post	Re: Why is it that men are sometimes so insensitiv [img]images/graemlins/LOL.gif[/img] [img]images/graemlins/LOL.gif[/img] PFS I love it!!!! I'm going to start using that when Josh is being a pain in the butt. Revenge is mine. [img]images/graemlins/rotflol.gif[/img]

03-08-2005, 01:26 PM	#8 (permalink)
Kristie Admin/Owner Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Scottsdale, Arizona Posts: 6,630 Recipes: Thanks: 7 Thanked 17 Times in 17 Posts	Re: Why is it that men are sometimes so insensitiv So anyways, it was a "totally me" thing this weekend (I gotta stop thinking so hard and trying to make sure everyone else is happy!)...I think at some point in your life, you start feeling maternially guilty about trying to please yourself when you know the other person isn't going to be all that happy with the situation (ie: leaving the house)...but I should have run on my instincts and stayed home instead of leaving. I probably would have had a better time to be honest.. hahaha We ended up flying to SLC then down to LAS for a night. We had an "ok" at best time, I think we're just now getting to the point where things like that are no longer satisfying and a nice stay on the beach in LA would have been preferrable... granted, we didn't gamble much because doug ran into a long lost high school buddy and we all ended up talking till WAY too early in the morning.. so doug and I didn't get to spend much time together... but it was nice for him to be able to see someone he hadn't seen in a long time! [img]images/graemlins/grinning-smiley-044.gif[/img] the worst was the 8 HOUR drive back to phx - the traffic through the hoover dam area was just atrocious!! [img]images/graemlins/banghead.gif[/img] but learning this stuff as you go makes it all better! [img]images/graemlins/grinning-smiley-044.gif[/img] us girls are so totally weird that even we don't know what's happening most of the time! [img]images/graemlins/banghead.gif[/img]

04-11-2005, 11:20 PM	#9 (permalink)
TheWife Jetgirls Ol' School Member Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Utah Posts: 1,264 Recipes: Thanks: 1 Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts	Re: Why is it that men are sometimes so insensitiv [ QUOTE ] I don't know if it's a legit PFS, but I've witnessed every one of my guy friends "cycle" like how girls do. It's usually a bit longer of a time period but once every two or three months John gets in this funk where he's like, STFU and leave me alone. He gets kind of bitchy at those points and I just have to let him be by himself and work it out. he usually ends up taking a day or two and then is normal again...maybe doug is just "PMSing" on his own hormones! [/ QUOTE ] I know for a 100% fact that that is so true! Corbin will admit 100% when he is "cycling". He is a pretty pleasant person even when I am yelling and hollering at him except about once every two months, for like 2 or 3 days, anything will set him off! You should have seen the fit he threw yesterday because he swore I took his razor recharger. Found it in HIS stuff later and he was still too pouty to apologize for ripping me a new one. He totally admits to having a cycle and says as soon I realize it's his "time", I should be extra sensitive and kind to him! LOL

04-12-2005, 12:43 AM	#10 (permalink)
Lurker Jetgirls Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Hong Kong Posts: 187 Recipes: Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: Why is it that men are sometimes so insensitiv Read the book - 'Why men don't listen and women can't read maps'....what you describe is just men going into their caves. Once you get this and know how you should be when he does this - its no problem.

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