guys night out

jr_lenz · 02-14-2008, 02:53 PM

We have talked about how important it is for us girls to get out and have a break sometimes, but what about our guys?

I am wooried about Lance, he seems very stressed lately. Work of course is always stressful for him, he is stressed about being away from home ( I was put on bed reast for a week...but am doing better) when he comes home, he cleans the house, runs T back and forth to school, does homework, and basketball. He is about to become a daddy, and we are still a few weeks out from having a preemie. I'm not saying that he is this great hero, b/c I do all of that when he is gone, but I can tell that he needs a break. The problem is that he won't. He says that I need him, and being away from us will make it worse for him. I tried to get him to go home to WY for his weekend, but he refuses.

he has no close friends who live in our town. his closest friend lives in Portland, which I would love to get him to go see, but I know he won't go. He has some good friends that live 2 hours north of us. I am thinking about calling them and just setting it up for him to go up for the day, to go snowboarding, and have them take him out for the night and he can come home the next day. Its only two hours away, so if anything happened it would be a hugh deal to get hime home. I think if I set it up and told him that they were waiting for that he might go.

I don't know what else to do for him? he isn't complaining, but I can see it, and it worries me. I know how important it is to get away, and I would love a break too, but right now I think it is more important for him. Any suggestions of how else I can help him? Do you think the ambush send him away is a good idea?

SeatClutcher · 02-14-2008, 03:28 PM

I think it sounds like a great idea if you think he wants the break and only isn't doing it because he feels like he shouldn't.

If he really doesn't want to, though, he might not enjoy it while he's on it.

Regina · 02-14-2008, 06:11 PM

How far away are you from your due date? It seems to me like he is doing the right thing being home to help you out right now, so let him do it. It is obvious that he wants to be home with you and help out. I am sure he is worried about you and the baby.

If I were you, I would just plan a guy's night out or even a guy weekend after the baby is born. From what I have read from your posts and the fact that you have been on bedrest, you have difficult pregnancies. Let him be here for you just in case. Janet, you seem like you are very hard-working, self-motivated, and know how to get things done. I would let him have this opportunity to contribute; who knows, he may actually be enjoying taking care of you and the household.

You could print some nice card out with your plans and surprise him with a specific or even a round about date. Let's say you were due in April. Well, maybe plan for the first weekend he is off in May or the last weekend he is off in May for him to visit his best friend in Portland or go back to WY for the weekend. Or maybe if his family is in WY, he could do a boys' weekend where he takes T with him. That way, you could spend some time sleeping when the baby is sleeping, he gets away, T gets special time with Lance, and T can stay with his family at night while Lance gets a chance to go out with his friends?

2 hours isn't that far away, but it is if something goes wrong. I don't know, maybe I am just a worry wart. If you feel like it is really important, I would vote for the 2 hour away trip.

Are you trying to get to a certain week? Take care of yourself.

Amanda · 02-14-2008, 08:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jr_lenz

We have talked about how important it is for us girls to get out and have a break sometimes, but what about our guys?

I am wooried about Lance, he seems very stressed lately. Work of course is always stressful for him, he is stressed about being away from home ( I was put on bed reast for a week...but am doing better) when he comes home, he cleans the house, runs T back and forth to school, does homework, and basketball. He is about to become a daddy, and we are still a few weeks out from having a preemie. I'm not saying that he is this great hero, b/c I do all of that when he is gone, but I can tell that he needs a break. The problem is that he won't. He says that I need him, and being away from us will make it worse for him. I tried to get him to go home to WY for his weekend, but he refuses.

he has no close friends who live in our town. his closest friend lives in Portland, which I would love to get him to go see, but I know he won't go. He has some good friends that live 2 hours north of us. I am thinking about calling them and just setting it up for him to go up for the day, to go snowboarding, and have them take him out for the night and he can come home the next day. Its only two hours away, so if anything happened it would be a hugh deal to get hime home. I think if I set it up and told him that they were waiting for that he might go.

I don't know what else to do for him? he isn't complaining, but I can see it, and it worries me. I know how important it is to get away, and I would love a break too, but right now I think it is more important for him. Any suggestions of how else I can help him? Do you think the ambush send him away is a good idea?

Sounds similar to Nick.
I'm here in my home town and have regular Girls' Nights Out and plenty of friends around. He only has a few close friends in town (most are scattered around the country) and doesn't see his local friends except for lunch here and there. He goes to the gym when he's home, reads, and is on the internet.
I know he's bored and I want him to go out sometimes!
I'm concerned!

katbuad · 02-14-2008, 09:10 PM

Maybe you could invite his 2 hour away friends to your house for a guys night out that is around your house. I bet they would understand both the need to be close by and the need for him to get out and have some fun if you got a chance to explain it to them.

DaytonaBeachGal · 02-15-2008, 10:12 AM

Neither my husband or I have any of our super close friends where we live. I always encourage him to get out on the bike or whatever, but he never complains. The other day he told me, that between our schedules and him traveling for work he WANTS to be with me. And I kinda agree! But he does other fun flying which takes him away and I am involved in class and new things in our community. We don't have kids yet of course. But we have never had an issue with that. We are best friends and I truly believe some guys are just more family/home oriented and enjoy it! I think as long as you give each other freedom such as you have encouraging outings apart from each other the person will take you up on it should they need a getaway!

katherine2473 · 02-15-2008, 11:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by katbuad

Maybe you could invite his 2 hour away friends to your house for a guys night out that is around your house. I bet they would understand both the need to be close by and the need for him to get out and have some fun if you got a chance to explain it to them.

That was just what I was going to suggest! Ask his friends to come down, maybe book a table at a nearby bar and tell them to have a nice night (just don't end up feeling like you have to be the hostess for them - more work!). And then maybe invite a couple of your friends over to the house while they're out and it's a win/win!

02-14-2008, 02:53 PM	#1 (permalink)
jr_lenz Jetgirls Ol' School Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Idaho Posts: 869 Recipes: Thanks: 0 Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts	guys night out We have talked about how important it is for us girls to get out and have a break sometimes, but what about our guys? I am wooried about Lance, he seems very stressed lately. Work of course is always stressful for him, he is stressed about being away from home ( I was put on bed reast for a week...but am doing better) when he comes home, he cleans the house, runs T back and forth to school, does homework, and basketball. He is about to become a daddy, and we are still a few weeks out from having a preemie. I'm not saying that he is this great hero, b/c I do all of that when he is gone, but I can tell that he needs a break. The problem is that he won't. He says that I need him, and being away from us will make it worse for him. I tried to get him to go home to WY for his weekend, but he refuses. he has no close friends who live in our town. his closest friend lives in Portland, which I would love to get him to go see, but I know he won't go. He has some good friends that live 2 hours north of us. I am thinking about calling them and just setting it up for him to go up for the day, to go snowboarding, and have them take him out for the night and he can come home the next day. Its only two hours away, so if anything happened it would be a hugh deal to get hime home. I think if I set it up and told him that they were waiting for that he might go. I don't know what else to do for him? he isn't complaining, but I can see it, and it worries me. I know how important it is to get away, and I would love a break too, but right now I think it is more important for him. Any suggestions of how else I can help him? Do you think the ambush send him away is a good idea? __________________ He wasn't sure he wanted a baby sister, but he loved her the moment he saw her.

02-14-2008, 03:28 PM	#2 (permalink)
SeatClutcher Jetgirls Ol' School Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Manchester, CT Posts: 918 Recipes: Thanks: 0 Thanked 9 Times in 9 Posts	Re: guys night out I think it sounds like a great idea if you think he wants the break and only isn't doing it because he feels like he shouldn't. If he really doesn't want to, though, he might not enjoy it while he's on it. __________________ Blog: Words about stuff "Freedom of choice isn't the same thing as being pro-choice." - said by a voter at the RNC

02-14-2008, 06:11 PM	#3 (permalink)
Regina Jetgirls Ol' School Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Southern state Posts: 1,014 Recipes: Thanks: 7 Thanked 12 Times in 12 Posts	Re: guys night out How far away are you from your due date? It seems to me like he is doing the right thing being home to help you out right now, so let him do it. It is obvious that he wants to be home with you and help out. I am sure he is worried about you and the baby. If I were you, I would just plan a guy's night out or even a guy weekend after the baby is born. From what I have read from your posts and the fact that you have been on bedrest, you have difficult pregnancies. Let him be here for you just in case. Janet, you seem like you are very hard-working, self-motivated, and know how to get things done. I would let him have this opportunity to contribute; who knows, he may actually be enjoying taking care of you and the household. You could print some nice card out with your plans and surprise him with a specific or even a round about date. Let's say you were due in April. Well, maybe plan for the first weekend he is off in May or the last weekend he is off in May for him to visit his best friend in Portland or go back to WY for the weekend. Or maybe if his family is in WY, he could do a boys' weekend where he takes T with him. That way, you could spend some time sleeping when the baby is sleeping, he gets away, T gets special time with Lance, and T can stay with his family at night while Lance gets a chance to go out with his friends? 2 hours isn't that far away, but it is if something goes wrong. I don't know, maybe I am just a worry wart. If you feel like it is really important, I would vote for the 2 hour away trip. Are you trying to get to a certain week? Take care of yourself.

02-14-2008, 09:10 PM	#5 (permalink)
katbuad Jetgirls Plus Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Nashville, TN USA Posts: 698 Recipes: Thanks: 9 Thanked 13 Times in 13 Posts	Re: guys night out Maybe you could invite his 2 hour away friends to your house for a guys night out that is around your house. I bet they would understand both the need to be close by and the need for him to get out and have some fun if you got a chance to explain it to them.

02-15-2008, 10:12 AM	#6 (permalink)
DaytonaBeachGal Jetgirls Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Daytona Beach, Florida USA Posts: 217 Recipes: Thanks: 5 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post	Re: guys night out Neither my husband or I have any of our super close friends where we live. I always encourage him to get out on the bike or whatever, but he never complains. The other day he told me, that between our schedules and him traveling for work he WANTS to be with me. And I kinda agree! But he does other fun flying which takes him away and I am involved in class and new things in our community. We don't have kids yet of course. But we have never had an issue with that. We are best friends and I truly believe some guys are just more family/home oriented and enjoy it! I think as long as you give each other freedom such as you have encouraging outings apart from each other the person will take you up on it should they need a getaway!

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