Don't like hubby's CAP/friend

[katbuad]

I don't really know where to post this thread.

Hubby and I have been married over 6 years and dated for 4 yrs before that. We have never really had this problem before. We usually have very similar thoughts about friends.

Hubby has a CAP that he really likes, but I have met the guy and I really don't like him. He has a girlfriend (never met her) but both two overnights I was with hubby the CAP and FA (different FA's) hooked up. CAP drinks like a fish.

Hubby says CAP and girlfriend are not serious. It still bothers me. Trying to pinpont my feelings. I am nervous about hubby being around "bad" influnences. They spend so much time together on trips and hubby has 3 trips with CAP in Nov. Jealous in general that hubby is making close friends that I don't get to spend much time with. And (general statement) acholol has a way of making people act stupid.

Hubby and I have talked about it. I don't want to push too much. I trust him and his judgement. But I made my opinion clear and expressed my concerns. I think that I am going to let it go for a while and see how things progess. Any thoughts?

[Bigsweetie]

My DH has "friends" like that too in the business. I personally can't stand them, but they're his friends. I trust that he's not that easily influenced.

Is your DH easily persuaded by others? If not, there's nothing to worry about. His captain is an "arse". It doesn't mean your DH is going to end up just like him.

[Regina]

I am sure that not many agree, but I read a saying once that said, "You tell me who your friends are, and I will tell you who you are." That pretty much sums how we (hubby and I) choose our friends now....but, hubby has work acquaintances....maybe that is what this ca is to him?

[katbuad]

I have been thinking about this since I posted it earlier. I really think that this is about me and not about him. Recently my world has gotten a lot smaller and everyday his world just seems to get bigger and bigger. I love hubby and I trust him. I can count on him to make the right decisions, no matter who he is around. I need to expand my focus/life and stop microscoping every part of his.

[SeatClutcher]

Originally Posted by katbuad

I have been thinking about this since I posted it earlier. I really think that this is about me and not about him. Recently my world has gotten a lot smaller and everyday his world just seems to get bigger and bigger. I love hubby and I trust him. I can count on him to make the right decisions, no matter who he is around. I need to expand my focus/life and stop microscoping every part of his.

Cool.

Also, just a btw, someone who drinks a lot isn't necessarily a bad person. I've met plenty of sober assholes, and just as many drunk angels.

[czechmate]

I agree with SeatClutcher.

I'm wondering how in the world they can end up flying together that much. Do they purposing bid the same trips or is a coinkidink???
Maybe you can help "alter" his bidding so he gets different trips??????

Good Luck
Jen

[Brenda]

Originally Posted by katbuad

I have been thinking about this since I posted it earlier. I really think that this is about me and not about him. Recently my world has gotten a lot smaller and everyday his world just seems to get bigger and bigger. I love hubby and I trust him. I can count on him to make the right decisions, no matter who he is around. I need to expand my focus/life and stop microscoping every part of his.

That's a good idea. Who says your world can't get bigger? Get out there and do something so that you can feel the fresh air!

[BAC]

Do they hang out outside of work or is it just a work thing? Is his behaviour altering or anything? Does he bid to fly with this captain?

I understand your concern.. but this is one of those matters where we have to put trust in our significant others... It is easy to come up with all kinds of crazy scenarios in our head.

You did the right thing by expressing your concerns to your husband. Stand by and see if anything changes..

[the_woman_99]

My SO had friends that I hated here when he lived in Utah. My guy is also the kind of guy to go along with the crowd. Yeah I hate it but I really have to just trust that he is not going to do something stupid to ruin what we have. It was really hard for me to learn how to trust him but I have learned it.
If he were still living in Ut I don't know if we would still be together. He had friends who hit on me all the time and it was all joking at first but they finally crossed the line when they finally started to try and touch me. They all drink all weekend and I just got tired of babysitting my SO. I finally told him that he could go out with them but I was done with it. I didn't mind if he went out with them but I just didn't think that they were the best kind of people to be around if they couldn't respect me, him or our relationship to keep hands off.

[Regina]

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