Don't like hubby's CAP/friend

[SeatClutcher]

Originally Posted by katherine2473

That last post seems a little combative!

Combative how?

[jr_lenz]

I don't think that it is completely wrong to ask your partner to adjust who they see and hang out with. I have a good friend that is a HORRIBLE cheater, but she is a great friend, we scrapbook together, and she would drop everything if you need her. Lance has flat out told me that he doesn't want me to go to the bars with her. She has gotten us into bad spots before. Going to the bar isn't that important to me, so I don't go when she asks me, I would rather have peace in my house. If it came down to it, I know I could ask him the same. He might still be friends with the guy, but he would modify the time spent so we where both happy.

Also Lance, flew with a guy a few weeks ago who was morally completely different from us. He cheated with on his wife, all the time and for most of the trips he went into DETAIL about all the FA he had hooked up with. IT was a horrible trip for Lance. and Even though he told the guy he wasn't into the stories, they didn't stop. So I agree with Regina, flying with someone that differnt can make for a LOOOONG trip. Lance would trade in a heartbeat if it worked out that way.

[SeatClutcher]

Originally Posted by jr_lenz

Also Lance, flew with a guy a few weeks ago who was morally completely different from us. He cheated with on his wife, all the time and for most of the trips he went into DETAIL about all the FA he had hooked up with.

Ew.

[czechmate]

Originally Posted by SeatClutcher

In case I'm one of those someones, my post (which I think was the first you argued with) was responding to this, posted by czechmate, and not to something you posted:

The CAP clearly likes the friend, so helping "alter" the schedule of a man who doesn't seem interested in altering his schedule touches on treating him like he isn't capable of making his own decisions (no offense, Czech).

None taken.

Now that I re-read what I wrote, I totally agree with what you have to say about him making his own decisions. It's his choice to continue to fly with the CA or make a change.

I was just trying to offer a suggestion that would hopefully lead to a conversation about expectations in the relationship.

Jen

[SeatClutcher]

Originally Posted by czechmate

None taken.

Now that I re-read what I wrote, I totally agree with what you have to say about him making his own decisions. It's his choice to continue to fly with the CA or make a change.

I was just trying to offer a suggestion that would hopefully lead to a conversation about expectations in the relationship.

Jen

I get ya.

[Regina]

....

[czechmate]

Originally Posted by Regina

I think some people do not realize that trips can be altered....so, the suggestion that it could may have been just a suggestion or a joke. I don't know.

I wasn't making a joke about altering his bidding.
While I agree that he's a big boy and can make his own decisions, I would wonder why he would continue to fly the trips that upset his wife. I was hoping that she would say exactly what was bothering her and they would work it out.

Regina, you and I (and others too) would be able to speak up and explain what was bothering us and our DH would (hopefully) listen to our concerns. Then it would be their choice to continue bidding the same trips or change.
Maybe this couple hasn't found out how to communicate well with each other - yet.

That's all.
I hope they've worked it out.

Jen

[flyershoe]

On a slightly unrelated note... (and then related, then unrelated again, haha!)

Bf was at his crashpad last night and called me… said he was watching some show called The Iron Mask where 5 people go in front of an audience, wearing a mask to cover their face and they distort their speech to conceal their identity. (9:00pm The Iron Mask: is a shocking one-hour special that features five mysterious figures who sit before an audience wearing an iron mask, confessing their most shameful revelations.)

Well, turns out one guy last night was a pilot and was talking about all of the crazy things that take place on a regular basis that he was involved in, all of the things that he and other married pilots do while they're away on trips… showing up hungover, shenanigans in the cockpit, etc.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat. I was rather pissed off about it, actually. Way to give the public that impression, I'm sure that their view of pilots and the industry isn't bad enough. Well, part of what pissed me off is that bf thought it was funny!! WTF over?? Not that he would ever do anything like that of course but he thought it was funny that this guy went on TV and told all of these stories. Grrr.

Anyway, I can't believe that someone would do that! But if this guy is like the CA that katbuad's DH is flying with, I could totally understand being uncomfortable about it… bf has flown with some CA's that I've heard all sorts of stories about, and he might think they're fun guys or whatever, but he doesn't make an extra effort to fly with them or not with them. It should really be about what you and your DH are personally comfortable with. Like I probably wouldn't want my bf going out and getting hammered with somebody like that, but I don't see a problem with them hanging out to see the city or go to a ball game or dinner.

I don't really know where I'm going with this, haha.. But to each their own with regard to how everyone lives their life. I would be more concerned with communication issues, like Jen said. We should be able to tell our DH's and SO's when something makes us feel uncomfortable, and learn more about the situation. Is the CA just one of those funny and charismatic people that attracts people to him and maybe that's why there are so many "encounters" with crew members? Who knows?

Well, there's my buck fifty!! Hope I made some sense in this rambling post!

ETA: After reminding my darling bf that I didn't find anything that the pilot had said amusing, he said he thought it was funny because it was so Jerry Springer-esque. Apparently the audience gets into it and the host is part Jerry Springer, part "To catch a predator." So that's why he thought it was funny.

[Mistress Trista]

For me 'hook up' means just getting together, not that they slept together. I say, I hooked up with so and so all the time, it's just another word for 'got together with' around the area where we live. Maybe it's just a regional thing? Certain words mean different things in different parts of the country?

[felly]

luckily, my bf/fo has only flown with checkairmen, who seem to be really decent guys (from what he's told me). i am sure if bf were to slip up and tell me some not so great things about the captains, i wouldn't be so happy either. i just wouldn't want him to think that that is appropriate behavior for someone who is in a relationship or on the job! it's about respect, and i think my bf has that.

i'm 24 and from the midwest, "hooking up" has always meant sex. so when i hear that particular phrase i automatically assume a sexual encounter was had. i understand that hooking up probably does happen while on trips, and if you're single i don't think it's anyone's business. i will just keep reminding myself and others that it comes down to communication and trust...which is hard to find at times, but i try to employ it daily.