What to do when husband wants to move to base?

[czechmate]

Originally Posted by Mistress Trista

My son doesn't want to move at all. Dh commutes anywhere from once a week to three times a week depending on his schedule. I've already told him my opinion and we've discussion the pros and cons, but he STILL wants to move...

There's the answer right there. If your son is set in school, then he shouldn't have to move. This is a very critical time in his life and it could be too much for him.

I understand his wanting to move, but when there's more than just you (meaning him) involved, you have to respect everyone's (his, yours, son, daughters) feelings. He's not alone in this decision.

Just my .02

Jen

[Mistress Trista]

Originally Posted by czechmate

There's the answer right there. If your son is set in school, then he shouldn't have to move. This is a very critical time in his life and it could be too much for him.

I understand his wanting to move, but when there's more than just you (meaning him) involved, you have to respect everyone's (his, yours, son, daughters) feelings. He's not alone in this decision.

Just my .02

Jen

I agree completely. It's just convincing him of that. It's really started to cause alot of tension between us. We strongly discuss...actually more like fight...at least once a week.

[katherine2473]

Is there any way he could get a place closer to base for some of the time? Sort of let him test the water, as it were, whilst you all stay put? He might find that the grass really isn't greener! As someone who lives apart from her husband for most of the time, it's not ideal but it really can work better than you think. Might be a temporary middle ground before the two of you get entrenched in warfare!
But for the very tiny amount it's worth, I think it would be so counterproductive to move your son just now. As pilot families we get to take second place to our husbands' careers on a fairly frequent basis. If you uproot him now, just when it matters, I could see him starting to believe that he isn't worth much if his father could willingly disrupt his life to that extent for the job/to make his own life easier.
Hope you can dial down the anger for a bit, very seldom leads to productive discussions in my experience!!
Take care,
Katherine

[captnscopilot]

One good thing about moving to a base is that if he is senior enough he can bid reserve and be home more. Other than that, you have to do what makes you both happy. One thing I learned really early is that you can't chase the airlines because you never know what is going to happen with them. You have to figure out what makes you both happy and he needs to respect the fact that you're home taking care of the baby.