Okay, so today is my birthday

[Regina]

I know I have written about this before, but today is the day. My brother is in from out of town and insists we get together with his family and my parents just to hang out...we have been hanging out for 2 of the 3 days he has been here. I don't feel like celebrating, let alone being with everyone. My house is absolutely a mess (we are putting in tile in almost all rooms except the bedrooms) so furniture is moved into garage, bedrooms, etc. I was in bed the entire day yesterday with a migraine, and I just don't feel like this day is any different than any other day (except for being a year older).

So, a few reasons why i have hated my birthday in the past. I love my brother, but he is the only boy of 4 girls. He was definetly the golden child...still is. Why my parents don't live by him, I have no clue. Well, for years, my mom knew I hated choclate cake, but since my brother wanted chocolate cake and there wasn't any tournaments around that time (he was a wrestler that was always cutting weight), my mom would always buy chocolate cake on my birthday...I didn't eat even a piece. My birthday is 5 days before Christmas, so she would just have me pick out a present under the tree to open on my birthday. I now have pie on my birthday (if that) and don't do the present thing with my hubby, so that solves that. My kids don't realize it is my birthday, so it isn't as though they are pushing for a party either...we are trying to get ready for Christmas with a torn up house (more than enough stress).

I just do not have a desire to hang out with family on my birthday, have cake or pie (that I certainly don't need), have someone give me gifts (when I have everything I need), or go out when I really don't feel well from getting over a migraine and still throwing up from pregnacy. I just don't get it. I don't get why someone can't respect your wishes about just leaving this as any other day, or giving me a birthday present of leaving me alone. I have wanted just a me birthday for at least the last few years; never happened. The first year we moved down here, my husband didn't believe me, so he took me out to dinner with our kids and his mother, and tried to get the waitresses to sing me happy birthday. I was ticked. The next year, my parents had moved down, and my brother was visiting, they asked to come over, my husband said sure, and then they went to a theme park that day and didn't get home until after 9pm, and still wanted to come over to celebrate. Keep in mind my kids go to be around 7. Last year, I had to make dinner for my parents to come over and celebrate...not my idea of fun. So, this year, I want to do it my way.