Can I rant please?!

[katherine2473]

I am having a few problems in my head just now and would love some impartial advice!
We got engaged last December. PJ proposed with a fake glass ring cos he knew I wanted to get an old ring of my great grandmother's reset. It was v sweet, he had searched for a fake that looked as much like the actual ring as he could find! Anyway, we decided to get married quickly to get me on his benefits and make the whole London-Chicago thing that much... not easier, but less hideous! So I wore my fake ring with pride for our 4.5month engagement cos the money was going on the wedding - and this long distance/running 2 houses thing is not cheap! We had a lovely (family-only) wedding in April and were planning a big barbecue/party for all our friends later in the year. Got 3 days honeymoon (1 of which was spent waiting at EWR, and then that night he had to jumpseat back to Chicago and I spent it on my own at the Newark Econo Lodge!) and then back to our separate countries. And it has been hard starting married life like this, you know?
Fast forward 3 months... We still haven't got my ring done. We've had to cancel our party cos the Navy (PJ is also US navy reserve) is sending him to the Ukraine over exactly that time. We were planning to get a week away in Oct and United didn't give him the time. I'm feeling really hard done by and sorry for myself and I hate it! On the one hand - I know, we have more pressing needs for our money than to spend it on a bit of jewellery, and I've got the wedding ring, which I know is the important one! I would honestly rather we used any spare money at the moment to get a secure financial future for us! But... I am currently feeling like I didn't get a ring, I didn't get to celebrate my wedding with all my friends, I didn't get a honeymoon - and it is really rankling! Not least because his 1st wife got all 3... (and I know I know, they had a rubbish marriage, so all those things don't help, but still...) And when I mentioned it to PJ last night (late at night, long day for both of us, rubbish phone connection, what was I thinking?!) he got all upset cos he felt like I was blaming him. Which I guess, in a childish kind of way, I was.
Anyway, I guess I need a virtual face slap or something please! My rational logical side is telling me to grow up and stop whining, that it's the marriage that matters not the 'trimmings'. My emotional side is not quite buying into that at the moment!
TGIF!!
Katherine