New ATL girl!

[Melissa]

Hi all,
I've been reading posts for a few days and decided I'd introduce myself. I'm 26, living in Atlanta, and writing this as my fiance is off on a 2 day trip. He gets home tonight. He's flying with an instructor, because he just got upgraded to captain. He's pretty excited, but i know his schedule is about to go from 2-3 day trips with high seniority to the bottom of the line and on reserve. I've gotten used to his schedule, as much as I can, but it's still hard some of the time. He is very good about calling me a lot. And when he's home, he is home. I would love some advice from anyone regarding newlywed life with a pilot. I know it's going to be very hard when we move in together and then he's going to leave on those first few trips. I also think about a few years down the line when he wants to switch from a regional to a mainline and we will have to decided whether he should commute or we move. It's stressful to think about, and that's still a few years away!
Anyway, I'm glad I found this website. I think it'll help!
Melissa

[CLErocks]

Welcome! This site will help A LOT!

[ccbegay]

Hello and Welcome!

We are up here near Charlotte, NC...BF is flying with Chautauqua out of Greensboro...and for now I am just staying home for the summer with a dog and 4 cats!

Great to have you here!
Cassie

[jr_lenz]

hi, and welcome. there is alot of great advise on the site, use the search function to look up some old posts.

Advice for neweds, and avaition. throw your expations out the window. be patient, most of the things get better, or at least you adjust. be flexiable, you need to learn to celebrate Christmas when you are together 3 days later rather than on the 25th. If you get to be together the same week as your b-day you are doing good. Try to remember they (your DF) struggle being away as much as we do (I have a hard time with this one). Hotel life isn't all its cracked up to be. Talk, talk, talk, talk, and then talk some more. What works for me, isnt a sure fit for you, you guys need to come up with your own set of rules, and what works for you. If something bothers you, don't sit on it...if you do he will be gone on a trip and you will be fighting over the phone, you have to talk it out and figure out a middle ground that you both can live with. sing the "lalalalala" song when people start talking about the pilot/fa hook-ups. and just roll your eyes when they start talking about all the money that he is making! Don't beat yourself up when you have a bad day or week and you HATE his job. We have all been there, vent and get back on baord. Find stuff that you like to do, so when he is gone you have something to look forward to.

and the best advice I was given was by Mrs Kristie herself was go on overnights with him. You get such a better understanding when you see what they do first hand. and my DH tells me that it makes him feel important when I come along.

congrats on the wedding and good luck in our new life together!

[Kristie]

it's funny you say that it makes your DH feel important Janet... mine says the same thing!! He's so looking forward to me coming on the next trip with him, it's just a matter of can i even get on one of his flights before the end of summer....

Definitely agree with Janet on throwing out your expectation... expect the unexpected and be happy you got it. right now is kindof a tumultuous in the industry and anything can happen until things start turning around again. so be forewarned that it may be rocky for a bit...not only with moving in together but just getting some type of routine down and knowing that the airlines kinda own your schedule until his seniority starts going up again and he gets off of reserve.

Welcome to the site .... remember to talk talk talk (use any method available!!) and if talking to him doesn't seem to help, talk to us and we'll help you get thru those few hard days that will come up.

[Brenda]

Welcome!

[Melissa]

So, its been a few days since I have had time to get back on and write, but I just wanted to thank you all for your advice. DF is a wonderful guy (I guess I shouldn't marry him if he wasn't, right? ) He always calls or texts when he lands somewhere new. We have great communication. I have been on several overnights with him, and love going. Although they haven't been to glamorous places- Little Rock, Cleveland, and Shreveport. I'm just nervous about the transition into married life. I also think about how difficult it is going to be after we have children. It must be torture for a new mom when her husband goes on the first trip back after a baby is born. I guess we should feel lucky though, because there aren't many professions where your spouse can come to work with you. I have figured out that the perks are wonderful! I went to school to UNCC in Charlotte, and I still have many friends up there. Instead of doing the 4 hour drive, I've been able to just go hop on a plane and non-rev up there all the time! I love it! Anyway, thank you all for the advice. I'm glad i stumbled upon the site!

[Amanda]

Welcome to the site Melissa! I've been with my man since he was an instructor in 2002 and there have been ups and downs -- but mostly "ups'! If there is communication, trust, and respect you guys will do just fine. The worst part of our relationship was when he worked at Mesa and he was constantly switched to different bases and in 2006 we only saw eac other 3-4 days each month since I was in PHX and he was in IAD. Things are great now that we are living closer to his base and see each other regularly. I amd trying to get a lot of travel in now before we have a baby (whenever that happens!). It will definitely ne hard to be a single mom part of the time.

We're here to support you through it all!

[devin]

Welcome Melissa!

My SO and I recently got engaged and have similar concerns to you, you're not alone. I wouldn't want to be with any other man, but the uncertainty and schedule can be tough to deal with, especially with us both wanting to continue our careers and have a family. We haven't come up with a solution yet, but we're hoping it'll all work out. This is a good resource to help get a good idea of what to expect though - welcome again!

[roz]

Welcome Melissa!

I've been at this for many years and raised a child through it all on top of having my own career, caring for my elderly parents and getting another master's degree (MBA with a 4.0--which makes me proud!).

It's not easy. But you have to look at everything as a stage in life. It's not permanent. It makes it easier to see through to the next stage.

The climb is not always upward--as with all of life. There are unexpected setbacks--just reading here about the base closings, furloughs, downgrades, etc gives you an idea. But if you know that things are going to happen and prepare as best you can, you know you have done all you can do.

We are all here--welcome!