Hello Ladies

[lilpeanut]

Hi ladies,

Lately, I have been freaking out about becoming a pilot's wife. I am pretty much flying by the seat of my pants here. I personally don't know anyone who is a pilot's wife. My fiance just dropped a bomb on me. He was telling me when he starts at a regional airline that he will be on reserve and gone most of the time. I have always known that he wasn't going to be home all the time but can someone please give me a clue to what I have signed up for. I am so excited to have found a place where I can talk to someone who can really say "I know what you mean" and mean it!!

[AndTA]

Hi there, welcome! This is a great site...I am relatively new to the site and pilot life, and it has been a tremendous help to chat with other women in the same situation.

I am engaged to my pilot and we live together. We have been together for a little over a year, so I don't have much experience with this lifestyle either. He was with a regional and was based in our city which made life pretty easy. Recently he left that airline and just started with another regional and is in training in a new city. Since he has started training, I have also wondered what I have gotten myself into...it is really really hard, and by no means a traditional lifestyle.

I too stress about what it will be like....sometimes I feel like I am waiting for our "real" life to begin...the life when he is home for more than 24 hours at a time! But, then I remember how great he is, how much he loves his job and I think about the positives, and know we can do it. You can too! Hang in there! There is great information coming in every day on this site, and the old threads are good reading too!

[Amanda]

Hi and welcome!
I think the best thing to do is educate yourself, which is what you're doing. I dated my finace during the flight instructor/regional years. As soon as I knew my relationship was getting serios, I found website like this one.

It helped immensely! I already knew some pilot girlfriends/wives because of Nick, but with this website I was able to meet many more. I got to know Kristie, who is the owner of this board and we had fun times travelling together too! I'ven also met many others from this site and learned that some of us have friends in common. I see you're in Daytona- I think there are some gals in FL.

As for your question, I guess it depends of which airline hires him. When Nick was at Mesa, he did some reserve but we had the hardest time when I was In PHX and he was in PHL and IAD- 2500 miles away! We saw each other only 3-4 days/month but we made it work. I wasn't going to run after him all over the country especially since I knew his airline had him change bases frequently. I stayed put in PHX until he got his 'dream job' at CAL. It made sense for us to both move back to the east coast near family and his base.

What has his schedule been like recently? I don't know if he as been flight instructing and/or he had a regular schedule.

Also, the gals that have the easiest time with their SO being a pilot are those who are independent and are OK with being alone part of the time. It's just the nature of their jobs- they will miss special occasions such as holidays, birthdays, parties, weddings, etc. You get used to "going it alone". Nick and I are wanting kids so I'm already prepared to be a single mom part of the time.

Good luck- this site offers great support.

[DaytonaBeachGal]

Hey there lilpeanut and welcome to the site! My husband and I are in Daytona Beach area too. I hope you find some great support here. All I can say is the lifestyle has some wonderful opportunites to offer, but as the other girls may mention challenges here and there that your other friends may not go though. So this is a great place to know you are not alone! Yes, as others mentioned, its best if you are independant. I have my moments!! I use to be in the industry with my husband, then left to do new things, then we moved to a new place, and with him gone its easy to for me to feel isolated.I am not on the site as much these days but feel free to check out the Florida JetGirls area and see where we all are. I recommend getting as much suuport from family too at those challenging times! Good luck supporting your guy! Welcome!

[the_woman_99]

Welcome!

All of the other ladies have given great advice. All I can really say it just take it one day at a time. I try not to look ahead when he is gone. I just enejoy the time when he is home as much as we can. It is easier right now because I just relocated to PA to be with SO and haven't found a job yet so I am home a lot more then I was before I moved. Hopefully that will change soon.
This site though has been really great to talk to others about whatever you want. We are always here to listen

[SeatClutcher]

Hi!

To put it simply, you're probably getting into a position of being alone a lot.

Which can be hard and lonely, at times...it's not always fun to miss someone.

But, you're not ALWAYS missing, of course, because you have your life and things you're doing. And being away from someone for a time means seeing them after all that time and being on a mini-high (or major high) far more often than people get to experience when they see their s/o every single day.

As with anything else, there are goods and bads. But if you are okay with phone calls and emails, and would enjoy sending and receiving the occasional unexpected thingy (whatever gift idea you have) in the mail, it can be kind of fun to be in a nontraditional (and by that I just mean not always around one another) relationship.

[of course, I say this as the wife of a guy who flies freight and has so far been home - but sleeping - every day.

Also, he was in Iraq for a year, so any length of time he's gone is fine with me as long as he's not in danger of being shot down or mortared.

I'm sure if he were flying a regional or something, and were gone all the time, I'd find my own complaints, but I really do love the idea of seeing one another after time apart, and getting and sending letters or emails, and all that stuff. I hope you 'll find ways to enjoy it, too.]

[madlibs]

Originally Posted by SeatClutcher

And being away from someone for a time means seeing them after all that time and being on a mini-high (or major high) far more often than people get to experience when they see their s/o every single day.

So well said. I'm always trying to look at things from a "glas is half full" viewpoint, and I like reading things that reflect that.

[lilpeanut]

First let me say thank you for such a warm and overwhelming response. I also appreciate all of you for telling it like it is. I can't say is has calmed my nerves however it can't be too bad since you are all pilot's wives, girlfriends, etc.. and you have all made it this far!! I am relieved to have this website to vent or share concerns. Thank you all again.

[Roxswood]

Nice to meet you, I'm new to the site and to life as the wife of a pilot too. Thankfully once DH gets past his training he won't be doing overnights but at the moment he's away 5nights then home 4 and I'm a week away from my due date with our second baby. He comes home tomorrow night though so we'll be trying everything we can to get the baby out while he's around.

[ccbegay]

Hello there and welcome!

When I first met the bf, we did a 2 yr long relationship between New mexico and north carolina...when i moved out here in 2006, he was home and here every day, every hour so it was something that quickly grew on me...about 8 months ago, I heard the 'regional' word and started freakin out too...most of that time, I dwelled on how much he's going to be gone, how I thought I can't do this, and really how crappy it will be...but one day, I realized, I can't live like this always thinking about the negatives...it's really tough to not focus on how he's not here, but it's something you just have to do, to really not let it weigh you down...when, I do feel completely low, I come here and find encouragment/advice and to have other ladies in that same situation listen...hang in there!

Cassie