New girl in St. Louis!

[katierose0324]

Hey all,
I'm new (new pilot girlfriend, new st. louis resident...new everything).

My guy just got hired by republic but I'm not moving until we've been together at least (at LEAST) a year. In the mean time, I'm going through the initial shock of supporting a pilot. Sigh.

Any advice from ladies who have guys who commute? I'm real apprehensive about it, but I've fallen really hard for this one and I'm willing to make it work.

Thanks! Nice to meet you all!
Kate

[spotty4]

Welcome Kate!

My fiance is a commuter. Feel free to PM for more specific information, but the short of it is that commuting is hard for all involved. We live in central coast California and he commutes to Minneapolis. At the very least, for the block of time that he has off, subtract a day for his travel to/from his domicile. But fiance's example is that of a fairly long commute.

For me, its tough knowing that I'm getting cheated out of time w/ fiance. If we lived at his domicile, we'd get quite a bit more time together. But for now, my career ties us here for a little while longer.

For him, its tough for him to be "done" working, but still has to wait 8 more hours before he can be home. Whereas, his colleagues who live near base just get in their car and drive home in less than an hour.

Some families and couples do commuting very well. Its definitely very personal and situational.

[Amanda]

Hi and welcome to the board!
The first year is hard- you're in a new relationship and there will be some separation. If he is mature and doesn't feel he has to sow his wild oats you should be just fine. I've been with Nick since he was a flight instructor and in the beginning when he got hired at his first regional job we had to deal with a lot of change and separation.
Just keep the communication lines open with each other and keep yourself busy while he's away! Obviously it's not as simple as that but it's some advice that will help.

[FilleBelle]

My boyfriend is a commuter, from DFW to RIC. I don't have a lot to say about the situation, though, as we are already long distance, with me in California. I can tell you that it isn't impossibly difficult, but it is certainly inconvenient. I think you are wise to have made the decision not to move until the relationship is more established.

How did you all meet?

[spotty4]

Originally Posted by Amanda

Hi and welcome to the board!
The first year is hard-

Yes, I should indicate that fiance and I are in his first year of commuting. I think we're just beginning to see a glint of it getting better ... but its still quite a ways off.

[kimlantse]

Hi Kate! Sorry I can't give you any good advice 'cos my DH desn't commute, but as you can see, there is already plenty of great advice from the girls here. That is the beauty of this site...

Welcome!

[the_woman_99]

I too cannot comment on commuting. SO really refuses to commute I believe more then he has to. We have been apart since August though and actually I am moving to PA to be with him at the end of this week. It is all crazy and the time apart was really hard but we made it through and things are finally looking up for us.
I agree with Amanda that you should always keep the lines of communication open. It was hard at first to make the adjustment but it was also good because we got to learn more about each other and open our communication in different ways.
Best of Luck!

[StlKT]

Welcome!
Glad to see another st. louis girl. My husband flies charter out of the chesterfield airport. We've never done the commuting thing, so i can't help you with that....but now that there's a couple new stl girls maybe we could get together for a meet and greet sometime.

[ccbegay]

Hi there and welcome!

Well, we are up in Charlotte, NC...and for awhile BF was commuting to Chicago, for several months...and it really fatigued him down to the point of walking pneumonia and he's been out ever since...with, that, he's looking to switch to something closer to home just because, it is physically tough for him...that may not be the case for everyone, but for him, it was a difficult situation...that being said, we are also in the first year of airlines, and it has been tough on our relationship, but we've done the Long distance thing him in North Carolina and me in New Mexico, so that both 'bettered' us for regional work...it's tough, and from what I see, it does get better!

WELCOME!
Cassie

[JSBRY]

My husband commutes from central Florida to St. Louis (including an hour and fifteen minute drive to MCO). Luckily he has a good bit of flight options between here and there but it has its ups and downs. The worst was when he had weather delays and by the time he made it back to STL he didn't have enough time to come home so he had to sit at his crash pad for a day and a half or so while the rest of the flight crew just drove home. Or the time he couldn't get on the last plane out of STL for the day because there were already 2 other jumpseaters onboard. Even though it had seats they wouldn't let him on...after flying since around 4 in the morning that was heartbreaking. But both scenarios have only happened once in several months. He's heard a thousand times, when you don't have to commute it makes a good job a great job.

We are debating now whether to move to STL when he upgrades. We have a house and almost all our family in Florida so it'd be hard to move but I would have more time with him so I think it'd be worth it. Plus it would be kind of fun while we are young with no kids to live somewhere new at least until he gets on with a major. We'll see....it gets really hard at times esp. on the pilot dealing with the frustrations of commuting and you must be the rock during those times.