Im new :) from Canada

[Claudiainlove]

Hello Jet Girls

I made this profile a few weeks ago but ive been really busy with school and had no time to write to you all.
So Let me start off by introducing myself first..My name is Claudia and I live in Toronto Canada, im 19 years old ( really young still) but I have a bf who is in school to become a commercial pilot. He is now attending a college called Seneca which they have an aviation program and its by far the best aviation program in Canada. He's in his first year, but he absolutely loves it, he is obsessed with planes and his passion is aviation. (and he saw this website from his aviation forums and he recommended it to me)

ok so..
One of the reasons Im also writting here is because, even though we've only been together for 2.5 yrs I want to be part of his future and I would love to be his wife some day. The is only one problem Im a very JEALOUS FREAK, maybe Im extremely insecure which I honeslty dont know why. Im obsessed with making stories in my mind that some day he'll find someone better than me or he'll cheat on me. So now that im starting to think about the future, him becoming a pilot and someday flying for a commercial airline doesnt make this any easier. I've heard many stories of pilots cheating on their wives with the FAs so even though this if wayyyyy wayy far in the future and who knows what will happen, I still worry about this.

Besides that, after his 4 years of school we might not be able to move in together cause he wont have any money to pay for a place due to the debt he will have after he graduates, so he has to go back home to live with his parents. So now that we only see eachother on weekends, who knows if it will get harder for us once he finishes school.
My complain?? We never see eachother as much as I'd like too! so once he's done with school, goes back home and starts flying, is there gonna be time for us??
I know being a pilot's wife is not easy cause your hubby is away too much but i have to learn to cope with that. So if i dont learn now, it will get harder for me in the future and that can impact our relationship. Even though we love eachother unconditionally and I support him 100%, part of me is afraid of whats yet to come.
So any advice for me?? should I worry to much? Will this get any easier?

Ill really appreciate your feed back!

[Bigsweetie]

Welcome to the site Claudia!!

My best advice for right now is:

1. Don't put the cart before the horse. You're not even married yet and you're worried about things that are VERY far away still.

2. You really need to work on your self esteem and feeling secure in your relationship. Trust is a HUGE part of any relationship, but especially in ones where one spouse is gone alot. You need to address this and a therapist might be the best way to do that. I certainly don't think you're "crazy" or anything, just that you need to work some things out before you even think about getting married.

3. Do some pilots cheat on their wives? Yep. It happens. But the reality is that it doesn't happen as much as you might think. And essentially, no matter what your bf's job was... if he's the type to cheat, he'd do it no matter what his job was.

4. Once he does get with an airline make sure to set some boundaries that you're BOTH comfortable with. This varies from couple to couple. Some relationships have alot of leway (i.e.- wife/so doesn't mind if dh/bf hangs out or eats alone with females while on the road. Others have a "no meals, etc. alone with a female" policy.) There isn't one right formula for everyone. It has to be based on each individual relationship. But I do think it's important to discuss what you're comfortable with and what you're not comfortable with beforehand.... and vice-versa from him.

5. As for him being gone so much and you missing him.... that's PERFECTLY normal. Especially right now. I can guarantee you that it will be hard at times, but you have to have the resolve to work through it. It's o.k. to say "this sucks" sometimes... because frankly sometimes it does. But at the end of the day, this is what they love to do, and because I love him so much- i've learned to live with it and it DOES get easier. I promise it does!!!

6. Make sure that you find things in life that YOU enjoy outside of your relationship. You've been with him for a while, but I would imagine that because of your age, you're probably in the "OMG! I'm SOOOO in love with you and want to spend every single second with you". That's great! It's everyone's favorite part actually LOL! But it's important to not lose sight of your friends, family, and activities that make you the person that HE loves so much (KWIM?).

7. Last but not least... come here and vent when you need to~! We've ALL been where you're at to a certain degree and we're always here to lean on during the hard times! That's what makes this board great!!

Smiles!!

[Claudiainlove]

Originally Posted by Bigsweetie

Welcome to the site Claudia!!

hey Bigsweetie

Thanks for your reply!!!
I understand perfectly what your saying and all I can say is that ur soo right !
Maybe as time passes by and I start gaining more experience all my negative thoughts will eventually go away. Its just that sometimes I over react for no reason. I know that if someday we decide to live together I would have to adapt to his life style and like you said, it will get hard at times, but I can probably overcome it and support him.

Also "my insecurity problem"..gosh...... thats been an issue for me ever since we started dating, and one of the things he has told me, is that if i dont stop being insecure and jealous, he wont want me to be part of his future sad but true...
I know he loves me but he doesnt like the insecure person that I'm becoming each day. I need lots of reasurrance in our relationship, specially when he meets new people that share the same passion (by this I mean the opposite sex) lol! And when he starts in the industry, that is when things will get really complicated!


cheers and thanks again
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[SeatClutcher]

Hi, Claudia!

I'm sure you'll get a lot of the answers you need here. Welcome!

[czechmate]

Welcome!!!

Jen

[Kristie]

welcome aboard!

[pilotwife3]

Welcome fellow Canadian

[amelia]

Hello and Welcome! This is a great place to get support. Hope you like it here!

[Claudiainlove]

thanksss too you all!

[devin]

Hello, and welcome!