New in Wisconsin

[AndTA]

Hi everyone, I am new to the site, and think it is great to find such supportive women!!
I am newly engaged to my pilot fiance- he proposed on our 1 year anniversary a few weeks ago.
Super excited and in the full swing of planning the wedding which will take place on October 11, 2008!
Not only do we have that excitement, but my DF was just offered a job at a new airline and goes to training in early March.
I am looking for some advice because although I am incredibly happy and excited that we are getting married, and will be starting a life together, I am (very) overwhelmed!
I have a daughter (3 yo) from a prev relationship who gets along very well with my DF, he is like a father because hers is not around...and I wonder how his going to training for 6 weeks is going to affect her. I can handle it myself, but I worry for her! My DF has been around a lot over the past few months because he was on reserve and not getting called to work much, so we have gotten into a pretty solid routine...not sure how my daughter is going to handle him being gone for so long? Any advice out there, on how to make this transistion a little easier for her?

[FilleBelle]

Welcome to the site and congratulations on your upcoming nuptials!

Having no experience as a mom, I can't help you with this particular predicament, but I know one of the fantastic women here will be able to. We look forward to hearing more about you and your family!

[christykay]

Hello and Welcome! I am so glad that you found this forum. It is a wonderful resource with some amazing women.

My name is Christina, I am a SAHM to four little ones, ages 3, 5, 8, and 9. As an experienced Mom in this chaotic industry the bit of advice that I can offer is ROUTINE- keep routine in your home. I have found that routine is key when raising kids, but especially so when raising kids in an industry known to have crazy schedules.

To be perfectly honest with you, it seems that the adults have a more difficult time adapting to change than the children do. When my hubby is preparing to leave on a trip it is he that is dreading the time that he will be away from the kids and I and will (still) get a little weepy. The kids are quick to respond by saying "see you on Saturday Dad, have a safe trip". Instead of feeling sorry for my kids, I actually look at this simple statement as a compliment. That as chaotic as this industry is, my kids feel safe in their home, in their routine with me. They have consistancy in their lives whether Dad is home with them or not.

As for the 6 weeks away at a time, yep...been there done that. My advice...find things that the two of you can do together. Plan the activities together and make them a big deal. Even if it is story time at the library- make it a big deal. I'm not sure if I offered any suggestions that are of interest to you, just know that there are several women that have been where you are and some that are there currently. That is what makes this site so amazing.

BTW...which airline does your DF work for? My hubby works for Air Wisconsin. Infact we lived in Wisconsin (Appleton) for 2 years and loved it! We are now living in S. Carolina, but will always hold a special place in our heart for Wisconsin.

Welcome Again!

[AndTA]

Thanks to both of you for your welcomes and kind words!

My DH just got an FO position with Republic. He is currently with Skyway, which announced layoffs in January. We live in Milwaukee...love it, except the weather...(today the temps were below zero).

Yep, I get weepy too before the trips, but I am ok with the short ones (like to have the bed to myself once in awhile)
plus I know he loves it, so that makes it all worth it.

I try to pretend that I can handle the long training, but am really dreading it...it is so funny, I was a single mom before I met him....and now that I am so used to him being around, I am not sure how to do it without him! I guess we just need to take it one day at a time?? At least that is what I am telling myself! And Christina, I will definitely take your advice regarding the routine...and doing some special things together.

Another question....do you all usually try to visit your guys when they are away for training, or do you just leave them to study and stuff on the weekends? I don't want to distract him...but can't imagine not seeing him at all!!

Andrea

[Amanda]

Welcome to the board!
I don't have any kids yet so I can't offer advice on the first issue.

As for the second question, I can tell you that training is a stressful time so don't plan to visit him (unless he says otherwise, that is!). Usually during training they should be concentrating on that since the future of his career is dependent on successfully completing training!

You have planning to do for your wedding so try to keep yourself busy with that!
Good luck! It's best to try to get used to his time away since he will be on trips regularly!

[DaytonaBeachGal]

Welcome! Just stay in touch as much as you can..photos..email and lots of calls. As far as your daughter missing him, maybe focus on putting together care packages etc. for him.

Training is a challenging time - it may be tough for him to give you the attention you may be use to - but hang in there it does not last forever.

Congratulations to you on all the good news!!

[ace12]

Hey There!
I grew up in Milwaukee- it's still where I go "home" for the holidays. I've heard about the cold recently. Brr.... Colorado is so much more temperate.
Anyhow, great advice so far. Kids do adapt well, especially when life is predictable and promises are kept for the most part (schedules change, but he always comes back).
I actually started a thread way back in June when my DB was in training, we had kind of broken up and gotten back together at the beginning of it,- I had no idea what training was like. It's tough. It does seem that some guys can handle a visit here or there, and others, just need to focus on studying, etc. I say, play it by ear and be flexible.
Good luck in Milwaukee- it's a town that I love!
Annie

[kimlantse]

Hello Andrea and congratulations on your engagement and upcoming wedding!

We don't have any kids yet, so I'm afraid I can't help you with that part. But as the other girls have said, the time during training is indeed tough. I can imagine that it will be that little bit harder to be apart if you are newly engaged (been there, done that! my DH was away for two months after we got engaged). But it's all worth it in the end! Like Amanda says, you have a wedding to plan now as well as look after your 3yo daughter, so I'm sure you'll be kept more than busy whilst he is gone!

[spotty4]

Hi AndTA!

Welcome aboard! My fiance and I are also getting married in October ... the 4th. He is in FO w/ Mesaba, so he spends a good chunk of time in Minneapolis. We don't have kids yet, but I'm sure everyone will transition just fine. I used to get a little weepy when he'd leave on trips. Now its just another day. As for a visit while he's at training, Amanda's advice is sage. However, I did visit fiance once he was in the sim portion of training. It worked out quite well and I helped him study by walking through scenarios and doing check lists as though I was the captain!

[the_woman_99]

Welcome.
When my SO was in training we didn't see each other at all. He told me that all I would do is distract him so we both decided against it.

Good Luck!