I am who I am....long

[Kristie]

Those 19-23 yrs olds are just immature and don't understand the whole "committed" and "love" concept yet.. when they meet the right woman, they'll probably do a 180 reverse triple loop and realize their talk was just that - talk...

I wouldn't worry too much about that because they're still quite young and impressionable - somehow they think that "world" of having one in every port still exists and for the single pilots, it can/does because they have the ability to handle more than one girl at a time...but the married man typically doesn't have the patience to deal with 2 pms's, 2 winny off days, 2 "i can't change the lightbulb myself" girls etc... most guys I know (married and/or single) can't deal with more than one girl cuz one girl is "enough" hassle! hahahaha

I dunno why guys and/or girls (for that matter) go that route.. just that it's gone thru the ages and even way back in the history of the bible - that type of stuff occured (otherwise there wouldn't be a commandment for it right?)...

from what I've noticed from the other site is that most of the Married Men have been married for over 10 years, have kids and haven't had sex sith their wives in a long time...and still don't have that much sex with their OW either (which i find rather interesting)...and yes, its true that once you get married, the comfort/security zone is completed (for most women)and sex does dwindle down some (from what I hear from most married couples)...that's why the guys are always sporting the "have it now cuz when you get married, it won't be happening anymore"

I haven't seen too many MW (married woman) threads and honestly, I haven't researched all that much about it either.. I have better things to do with my time...

Doug and I talk about stuff like this all the time, that way we always know what we each think of the situation and how we would handle it etc etc..it doesn't matter if i'm having a bad day or if i just want reassurance or even if HE wants reassurances (cuz i'm home all the time and he's not and he knows quite a few pilots that have had their women cheat on them - believe it or not!)...but making sure you have open communication with your spouse (especially when they're gone all the time and your home all the time) is the key to not having problems like that come up...

Tanya - you need to come clean with DH much sooner.. talk about it and keep everything out in the open -> no matter if it sounds stupid or "girly" or as my DH used to call it "irrational" (haha)....otherwise (and I know this too via experience) it just eats you alive day after day!! rememeber - your DH is there for you.. he loves you and wouldn't have married you otherwise and marriage always takes hella lots of work!! sometimes bluntness is what's needed to get the conversation rolling...been there - done that, could write a book on it but i think there's already too many out there!! hahaha :-)

[Doogie]

Learn something new about your in laws every day, woo!

But seriously, talk about it. And I'll be honest, the whole 'infidelity' talk gets old because it seems to come at times when I really don't want to talk about anything more intense than the previous evenings "Reno 911".

As a guy, and especially a guy pilot, I've had to come to terms with the reality that I'll spend the rest of my married life fighting 'The Stigma' that's constantly spread thru society ("Oh, how do you feel about your husband working with those flight attendants on layovers?"), movies (Jack Wagner in that movie where he's got wives and familys everywhere, or ANYTHING on that godforsaken Lifetime network), books ("The Pilot's Wife"), and the media in general.

So as much of a reality that updating my manuals every 21 days at work, there's an ebb and flow to the "Airline Pilot Fidelity" conversation as well. Society has a load of penned up stigma and an enormous amount of jealousy when it comes to this profession and it's something we've all got to live with and [i:0670c676cc]work thru[/i:0670c676cc].

If my neighbor isn't berating me for always 'being home', he's clench-teethed explaining to everyone else how I'm always vacationing in exotic locations, or mad because I spend my time online instead of changing diapers.

Ok, I'm starting to ramble, but ya'll get the gist.

[lrcantrell]

It's definately an age thing. The younger guys are just being hot heads and thinking they're "all that" because of who they are. I've found that the older ones tend to really look down on the "hot heads" or the ones that don't treat their families well and respect the ones that have real family values.

I will NOT allow my best friend to be be hurt in anyway. If you all wish to attack anyone, attack me. Therefore...because of all the threats and brutal attacks, I chose this weekend to spare him the heartache of having his career and/or marriage damaged. You won you guys! I hope that none of you have to ever experience a public lynching of either yourself, your mate or family member or friend.

Yes..I still love him and always will...but I will NOT see him harmed by those who cannot possibly understand and make moral judgements, expecially when they themselves are in the very same position. I think it is incredible that lies are so much easier to believe than the truth...I guess it must be because the truth is not easy to hear. I myself, can occasionally be faulted for this very same thing.

He is a wonderful, compassionate man who does not deserve to be harmed by a moment of weakness in his life or perhaps poor judgement or for loving someone. Please do not further condemn him for this. I am the one who should have and could have prevented this from happening.

I have always tried to protect him from this as well as I could, but now it is apparent to me that the emotional blackmail should be my fullresponsibility. So if you all want to destroy someone, let it be me...not him.

dg

[TheWife]

Seriously, that is enough. Both of you are responsible for the affair. End of story. I don't want to hear any more about how wonderful he is and how he should be protected. If you don't want people to call a spade a spade then don't post your spade on the internet. This is beyond any possibility of being productive so quit burdening us with posts.

[Kristie]

oohh.... so it's because of "us" here on this forum that you "chose" to break off whatever you had going on? i don't think so sweetie pie...you can't blame this one on us.. this baby's all on you & him, as well as it should be!!

no one here ever said they were going to do anything apart from this web board and well you know it.... there's no way that any of us would meddle into someone else's affairs because we have better things to do with our lives...Personally, I figured this stuff would come to a head on it's own fruition, it needs no pushing from us...

he's sooooo wonderful, he cheats on his wife... the one person whose supported him through years and years of home & airline bullsh*t....gosh, i must say, he's got immaculate morals! BBWWAHAHAHAHA...NOT!
girl, you've got a lifetime of learning yet to do...just because someone does you wrong does not mean you should follow the same path...two wrongs do not make a right.

moment of weakness my a**... you both knew full well what you were playing with at the time and what you continue to play with.. why don't you two take responsibility for your actions instead of creating all this drama...it takes two to tango I say.. and he gets whatever he deserves for doing her wrong and for doing you wrong and for doing "men in general" wrong because he's now an additional statistic to the "main reasons why marriage sucks" poll....and you do quite a disservice to us ladies.. thinking of yourself as one of "us" - you are sooo far from the truth, sorry to say.

If you were younger, I'd tell you to be more mature... but thing is, is that your the same age as my mom and even she's more mature than you at this point - so -> grow up already and get a clue....stop making yourself such a drama queen and stop watching soap operas...we don't live those here!

you talk about the difference in hearing and/or believing truth and lies...the truth hurts, but sometimes it has to be said in order to be heard....

time to go home and start living reality DG....

[Barbara]

"threats and brutal attacks"

When I think of threats & brutal attacks, I think of that American who was beheaded in Iraq, NOT us verbalizing to you what you already know.

"spare him the heartache of having his career and/or marriage damaged"

I think it's ironic that you think YOU are SPARING him damage to his marriage!!! You both are the ones damaging his marriage, you are not sparing it any harm!

"public lynching"

Oh PLEASE!!! You don't air your dirty ass laundry on a forum, get told 'you're being bad' and call it public lynching.

"I will NOT see him harmed by those who cannot possibly understand and make moral judgements, expecially when they themselves are in the very same position"

Who here is in your position? I'm not sleeping with someone else's husband.

"lies are so much easier to believe than the truth...I guess it must be because the truth"

I don't know who you think is lying, but isn't this how you are living your life, DG? One lie on top of another? You both are lying to his wife.

"a moment of weakness in his life"

Hmmm, more perspective, please. A 'moment of weakness' is succumbing to the Krispy Kreme drive thru, not having a three year frigging affair!

"if you all want to destroy someone, let it be me...not him"

You two will end up destroying each other, and everyone else around you. You don't need us for that. We have opinions, we stated our opinions, and isn't that 'why you came to us'??

Michelle's right. Go away.

[/ QUOTE ]

You are all right...very right...and I'm so very sorry...
dg

[Doogie]

DancingGirl, I'm sorry ma'am, but "Waa".

The man of your dreams is screwing around on a lady that he's married to. Mr. Congeniality won't do the 'right' thing and get divorced to be with you. So he's already set the stage that his marriage is more important than your happiness and need to be in a committed, healthy relationship, yet you defend him.

And of course, you defend yourself knowing full well that what you're doing is wrong.

So instead of demanding that your 'best' friend, get divorced and commit himself to you, you arrive at a [i:7391e0e047]Families[/i:7391e0e047] of Commercial Airline Pilots Association website and demand that WE accept your situation.

Nah, wrong venue.

It's akin to a klansman going to Ebony Magazine dot com and pleading for acceptance of his choice to lynch an innocent person.

"Oh, woah is me, he had it coming... he [i:7391e0e047]wanted[/i:7391e0e047] to be lynched. He didn't care! I was weak!"

Puleeeeze.

Seriously, I love the reality tv-esque drama, but I think this sitaution has become more "18 minute Dr. Phil" segment than an actual venue for any type of emotional resolution because you're bringing it on yourself.

Do I feel bad for you? Kinda, but not out of empathy for your situation - just that the quagmire you've found yourself in is self-sustained. Mistakes were made in the begining, but you keep hitting the "Play Again?" button after each episode.

"Oh, despair despair, my heart is wounded"

Monitor: "GAME OVER: You LOSE!!! Play again?"

...double click...

"Oh, despair despair, my heart is wounded"

Monitor: "GAME OVER: You LOSE!!!! Play again?"

...double click...

"Oh, despair despair, my heart is wounded"

Monitor: "GAME OVER: You LOSE!!! Play again?"

(I think you get the gist)

[Amanda]

Holy crap... I never thought to check out the "Family Korner" since I'm not really a "family"... but heck! What drama!! I don't even need to buy one of those cheesy novels; I just have to come over here to read about things like this.

Thank GOD I found one of the "good ones" (it's taken me a loooong time)and I have not a shred of doubt that my guy has been and will always be [b:61c7a1c7c2]100% faithful[/b:61c7a1c7c2]. Even though I tell him all the time, I'm going to send him an email right now to tell him how lucky I am. No drama here.

Jeesh.