The Wife of a Pilot

[DaytonaBeachGal]

My DH and met while on a trip when I was a F/A and we were both very single and available. I can definitely say there a lot of great people in this industry that are not jumping bed to bed like bunnies and are super devoted to their significant others and families - I think that is truly the majority. As many of the Ladies have said already, communication is the only thing that will strengthen your trust and calm these fears. Most of the time my husband tells me the F/A's do their own thing. We have worked out a great system where he casually tells me a little about everyone on the crew, even if its " didn't connect with them " and what he does during his time. Never take forgranted the value of communication! When that is not as frequent its easy to fill in the space in between with worries. This and knowing how devoted we are to one another keeps me from having too may concerns.

[Regina]

I guess my husband would be considered a slamclicker (?). He likes to catch up on sleep when he's on a trip. He also likes to workout. I don't think either one of us sees a devotion to go out with the crew after getting to the destination. Lunch, yes, he does go out sometimes with them to lunch. But, he has been packing meals to save money, and most restaurants don't look kindly on bringing in your own food. : ) And how old are we that he should feel bad about being a "slamclicker"? It's not high school or something. If he's not doing training, he pretty much stays in for sleep or goes and works out at the fitness center.

My husband has met some very nice f.a.'s on trips, and I think there have been some not very nice ones, as well. No matter what profession he was in, I think this would hold true. It just so happens that there is a free hotel that is untraceable with their profession. That is where trust should come into play.

I would agree with Roxswood though about not having enough time to go out of dates on our own, and it would stink that he would be able to go out to dinner with another person...male or female....although he does go out sometimes with the male f.o.'s and fa.'s. Plus, me at home feeding 6 kids at the table and trying to nurse another one, and knowing that he is enjoying a meal and adult company really stinks sometimes. Especially, knowing that his meal is costing probably at least 3/4 of what it costs to feed our entire family a meal doesn't seem to ring quite fair.

We went on a date last night,though, for about an hour (a trip to walgreens, where we got diapers for 10 cents a pack, and then to the gas station to get a slurpee). We also have dates at home (feed the kids and let them watch a movie as we dine alone).

[Cristine]

maybe the difference is between a regional and a major airline?? I worked at a regional and almost everyone is really young and the crew is really small and stays together for the whole trip (which may or may not be the same at major airlnes)

I really really get what you all are saying about it's not fair that DH gets a nice restaurant meal and free time and all of that. it is a HUGE issue in our relationship as we can not even afford a date. that said, I just can't imagine telling him that on his trips he can't go out and enjoy whatever city he is in.

BUT my hubby is corporate now and they have much longer layovers than we ever did at a regional. and he has one other pilot.

[Joanna]

Originally Posted by DaytonaBeachGal

My DH and met while on a trip when I was a F/A and we were both very single and available. I can definitely say there a lot of great people in this industry that are not jumping bed to bed like bunnies and are super devoted to their significant others and families - I think that is truly the majority. As many of the Ladies have said already, communication is the only thing that will strengthen your trust and calm these fears. Most of the time my husband tells me the F/A's do their own thing. We have worked out a great system where he casually tells me a little about everyone on the crew, even if its " didn't connect with them " and what he does during his time. Never take forgranted the value of communication! When that is not as frequent its easy to fill in the space in between with worries. This and knowing how devoted we are to one another keeps me from having too may concerns.

That is very cool. I always ask DH how is crew is, and his response is always "fine". I am such an extravert and love being around people, so I like to hear about the people he works with. The only time I get a bit of detail is when DH doesn't care for the person much



Christine - I think there is a big difference between regional and mainline...DH hardly ever go out with the FA, it is usually just the CA...when he was with XJT the three all went out together.

[Roxswood]

Originally Posted by Cristine

I really really get what you all are saying about it's not fair that DH gets a nice restaurant meal and free time and all of that. it is a HUGE issue in our relationship as we can not even afford a date. that said, I just can't imagine telling him that on his trips he can't go out and enjoy whatever city he is in.

I guess I figure he can make sacrifices for me the way I have for him. When he decided to train as a pilot we were already married with a baby, a nice house, a nice car and settled happy life near family and friends and plenty of money. We sold everything and I moved away from everyone with a 1 year old, and then again when she was 2, and then again at 2.5 and again at 3.. spent lots of time living with relatives and renting houses and then moved again at 3.5 and now we've moved to France just before her 4th birthday to somewhere I don't know, with no friends, no car, no money and I don't even speak the language. I can't get anywhere when he's working, so all I can do is sit in the apartment and wait for him to come home. We now have £70,000 worth of debt.. about $140,000. My stepfather has taken on that debt so that we can make lower payments while he's earning very little this next 6 months or so. I figure him staying in the hotel room chatting to me to keep me from going nuts while he's away is just the beginning of him paying me back..

[Cristine]

I so understand the debt issues. we struggle w/that also and not b/c we've been irresponsible or bought "fun" things. do you have a problem w/people thinking that b/c your husband is a pilot, he must make 6 figures? or is that just a U.S. thing??? it drives me crazy

[Regina]

Oh, yeah....we have problems with everyone assumming my husband makes 300,000 as a pilot. When someone asked me to type something, I said okay, but I could only save it to a disc because my cd burner wasn't working correctly. They asked why I didn't just tell my husband to go out and get me a new computer....well, at the moment, food is more important! Also, having 7 kids isn't cheap either. People are shocked when I tell them how much pilots start out making. But, that is the U.S., so I am curious also if everyone has that problem...?

[Roxswood]

Originally Posted by Regina

Oh, yeah....we have problems with everyone assumming my husband makes 300,000 as a pilot. When someone asked me to type something, I said okay, but I could only save it to a disc because my cd burner wasn't working correctly. They asked why I didn't just tell my husband to go out and get me a new computer....well, at the moment, food is more important! Also, having 7 kids isn't cheap either. People are shocked when I tell them how much pilots start out making. But, that is the U.S., so I am curious also if everyone has that problem...?

Hubby has started out on about $60,000 a year, but we're living in the south of france which is expensive and paying debts back in England so we have the currency exchange rates to deal with since he gets paid in Euros. Whats a normal starting salary over there? Hubby doesn't get any perks, no free travel (except jumpseating to commute for work) and he doesn't get any expenses paid as they don't do scheduled overnight stops. He has to book and pay for his own hotels and meals everywhere. Although I think if they get stranded somewhere due to weather or tech problems then the company pay for the hotel.

[TheWife]

I think this thread wins "Longest Running Thread Ever on the Internet"

[Roxswood]

Originally Posted by TheWife

I think this thread wins "Longest Running Thread Ever on the Internet"

LOL I only just realised how long ago this started