struggling - Page 3

Kristie · 06-06-2007, 11:52 PM

I usually bring a treat for the FA's if i get a chance.. but doug usually points me out to the rest of the crew, so they know that i'm onboard...I don't typically let myself be known but if there's something good about the landing or if i'm really excited about being on the flight or if he comes back to talk to me, i don't hide it (there's no reason to).

But when i'm flying on any of doug's flights, he lets them know so they take care of me and be nice because otherwise it can get back to them as being unfriendly flight crew and nobody wants that...as it is, I'm over supportive when i'm flying on one of his flight (cuz i too don't want a bad rep with them) so I tend to help the F/A's out if they need it (granted, i don't get up and work) but by being over complementary, supportive, telling them not to worry bout me, i'm just fine... stuff like that really does help. And you'd be surprised at how often I do take photos cuz it's hard to get a photo of doug in a uniform as it is...Sometimes there are other flight crew families on there and we all take photos of each other or talk about our travels and what to see (and switch emails addys)...sometimes, the girls will know that i want to sneak up and take a pic of man in cockpit and if i'm not able to make it up there, they'll do it for me and i appreciate things like that...LOTS of times, i'll go up and say hi, have them show me a new gadget in the cockpit and try not to get in the way too much. but honestly, i have't met too many unfriendly crew members...most are surprised that i'm there traveling with doug but glad that my interest is not taking advantage of the ride (too much even tho they always(!) keep asking me if i want a sundae or more wine or desert wine..ooooh gotta try the port...the entire trip - yea, they're that friendly with me because i'm that friendly back

). in fact, it feels like they're happy that i'm interested in hanging out with them, getting to know them, just like the rest of the crew does. in fact, quite a few have been surprised that i'm not an F/A and tell me i should be.

I think there's something to be said about treating everyone with respect and remembering who you are (just another passenger) when your flying with hubby. but other than that, i say shoot - get out there and enjoy the trip!! be elated.. enjoy it...you only get to fly with hubby in the front every so often...to me, it's a treat and i'd love to be there everytrip (i just know i can't)!!

roz · 06-07-2007, 07:49 AM

Everyone's circumstances are different. I give the crew my gifts after the flight. I don't want to be pointed out--they know who I am from the manifest and always acknowledge me as such. But if I am a non-rev, either I am traveling with DH as a passenger (so they know who he is too) or I'm by myself. If I'm by myself and they are available to chat, we do. If they are busy, which they usually are, I let them get their job done.

As for going up front to the cockpit, DH's airline does quick turns. So I would definately be in the way. The FA's are busy trying to get 200 people seated in 15 minutes to make that 30 minute turn, so they would not be taking pictures for me either! And, if I ever were on his flight and tried to take a picture of him, DH would not be happy! But, again, everyone is different!

And, since I fly so much for work, my pleasure trips are usually not short ones. I don't want to encounter many more TSA agents and lines than I have to endure for work!

Cristine · 06-28-2008, 09:01 PM

this is something I am really really struggling with and after 7 years, it is still difficult. I use to be a F/A and it is really hard work but when you are done, you get to eat in a restaurant, relax, see the city, your time is your time. I really miss traveling. I really miss being in different places and staying in different hotels. I loved it. and I do get very resentful of DH still flying. He has so much more free time than I do. I don't get to eat in restaurants or travel (mortgage issues)

I do'nt regret our decision. I am home w/our young children and love raising them. but the thought of getting a few night away sounds like heaven.

and like some of the others said, it seems that when I've got a little one puking or coughing, I'll get a call saying something like, "yea, I'm at the beach' and I wanna SCREAM!!! I know this is his job. but I don't know how to turn these feelings off.

Nonrevving is not an option. DH flies for private company now. I would love some advice.

THX

SWAFOWIFE · 06-29-2008, 07:41 AM

As for going up front to the cockpit, DH's airline does quick turns. So I would definately be in the way. The FA's are busy trying to get 200 people seated in 15 minutes to make that 30 minute turn, so they would not be taking pictures for me either! And, if I ever were on his flight and tried to take a picture of him, DH would not be happy! But, again, everyone is different!

Roz...my dh like yours does quick turns and they flight crews change throughout the day. Dh has been bidding PM trips vs. AM trips for a while and when you finish at midnight it doesn't allow a lot of social time. It seems very different now from when he was at the regionals and he flew with the same crew for days and they were done and in a hotel earlier. Oh, how this subject was such a soar one for so long!! We have been together since '99 and dh was hired by regionals in 2000 and those first 2 years at the regionals were very hard for me to deal with all the social dinners/drinks. All the giggling in the background while I'm on the phone with dh and he's drinking beer at a sports bar with the crew. Our first baby had horrible colic and of course would scream everynight night from 6-10/11pm like clockwork. Dh would call and I could tell he was drinking but couldn't hear him over the baby screaming. I thought I was going to loose my mind! We definitely pulled apart during that time and many of nights when the baby finally stopped crying I would just break down crying too! It seemed like for so long that our conversations would end with me saying "well I'm glad YOUR having fun" Somewhere along those 2 years things changed and my trust grew and I convinced myself that worrying and questioning is not going to stop anyone from hitting on my dh. I will say that Dh has also gotten a lot better with his communication. Dh's days are longer than they use to be generally and the turns are definitely faster so he is a lot more tired when his day is over and he just wants to relax in his room after eating. These days I find myself thinking of ways I can spoil him a little when he gets home because he has worked his tail off when he is gone. I know exactly what some of you are feeling and it SUCKS! That's all I can say is that in my case things did get better a lot better. One thing that I did change was I started doing things for myself. In Dh's second year at the regionals I joined a gym with daycare and started working out again. It was a great stress reliever and it gave me that much needed 1 -2 hour break from the baby. I not only felt like a better person but a better Mom because I got that down time to recharge myself. Whatever you do make time for yourself.

SWAFOWIFE · 06-29-2008, 07:42 AM

oops! that first paragraph was a Roz quote !

Kristie · 06-29-2008, 11:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cristine

this is something I am really really struggling with and after 7 years, it is still difficult. I use to be a F/A and it is really hard work but when you are done, you get to eat in a restaurant, relax, see the city, your time is your time. I really miss traveling. I really miss being in different places and staying in different hotels. I loved it. and I do get very resentful of DH still flying. He has so much more free time than I do. I don't get to eat in restaurants or travel (mortgage issues)

I do'nt regret our decision. I am home w/our young children and love raising them. but the thought of getting a few night away sounds like heaven.

and like some of the others said, it seems that when I've got a little one puking or coughing, I'll get a call saying something like, "yea, I'm at the beach' and I wanna SCREAM!!! I know this is his job. but I don't know how to turn these feelings off.

Nonrevving is not an option. DH flies for private company now. I would love some advice.

THX

why not use the time more productively and instead of resenting your DH for the perks he has, see the perks you have and enjoy them....

also, start working on your plan of return if you want to be an FA again..and talk to you're DH about taking a day off...set yourself up for a spa day or a night away from the kids. One thing about being a good mom (from listening to all sorts of moms) is that you have to take care of yourself too.

Remember, you chose this route of life, only you can change it if you're not enjoying it.

Cristine · 06-30-2008, 08:39 AM

thanks Kristie!
this is where I need the help. I don't want to be resentful. I don't think I have a "right" to it. I'm having a hard time figuring out what my "perks". I am kind of stuck.

I know my obstacles are not insurmontable but there are some obstacles. I can not do any type of spa day or anything. our finances will not allow it. I know you girls get this better than the average world, but my husband doesn't make the money that others seem to think pilots make. and we ran into some mortgage issues.

when he got the job at Northwest, we thought we were set for life. but 9/11 happened, he lost that job, and we've had to readjust our expectations.

I can not be a flight attendant again. we both can't be gone overnight. i do have other passions I would like to pursue once they are in school full-time, which is in a few years. but I don't want to wish this time away either, youknow? they are so very precious.

I am very open to any advice. I belong to a sahm board and they have great posts about this kind of thing but their advice really only pertains to sahms that have hubby's with a regular schedule. but please I've tried to guilt myself out of it and it doesn't work so please don't try to make me feel bad. I am appreciative of what I have. I am very blessed. it just feels like my days are filled w/tedious chores and he's having adventures.

are there any other sahms here who struggle with this??
THANK you!!!

Cristine · 06-30-2008, 08:52 AM

I think I'm threadjacking. I'm gonna start a new thread!

06-06-2007, 11:52 PM	#21 (permalink)
Kristie Admin/Owner Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Scottsdale, Arizona Posts: 6,576 Recipes: Thanks: 7 Thanked 15 Times in 15 Posts	Re: struggling I usually bring a treat for the FA's if i get a chance.. but doug usually points me out to the rest of the crew, so they know that i'm onboard...I don't typically let myself be known but if there's something good about the landing or if i'm really excited about being on the flight or if he comes back to talk to me, i don't hide it (there's no reason to). But when i'm flying on any of doug's flights, he lets them know so they take care of me and be nice because otherwise it can get back to them as being unfriendly flight crew and nobody wants that...as it is, I'm over supportive when i'm flying on one of his flight (cuz i too don't want a bad rep with them) so I tend to help the F/A's out if they need it (granted, i don't get up and work) but by being over complementary, supportive, telling them not to worry bout me, i'm just fine... stuff like that really does help. And you'd be surprised at how often I do take photos cuz it's hard to get a photo of doug in a uniform as it is...Sometimes there are other flight crew families on there and we all take photos of each other or talk about our travels and what to see (and switch emails addys)...sometimes, the girls will know that i want to sneak up and take a pic of man in cockpit and if i'm not able to make it up there, they'll do it for me and i appreciate things like that...LOTS of times, i'll go up and say hi, have them show me a new gadget in the cockpit and try not to get in the way too much. but honestly, i have't met too many unfriendly crew members...most are surprised that i'm there traveling with doug but glad that my interest is not taking advantage of the ride (too much even tho they always(!) keep asking me if i want a sundae or more wine or desert wine..ooooh gotta try the port...the entire trip - yea, they're that friendly with me because i'm that friendly back ). in fact, it feels like they're happy that i'm interested in hanging out with them, getting to know them, just like the rest of the crew does. in fact, quite a few have been surprised that i'm not an F/A and tell me i should be. I think there's something to be said about treating everyone with respect and remembering who you are (just another passenger) when your flying with hubby. but other than that, i say shoot - get out there and enjoy the trip!! be elated.. enjoy it...you only get to fly with hubby in the front every so often...to me, it's a treat and i'd love to be there everytrip (i just know i can't)!! __________________ www.jetcareers.com Last edited by Kristie; 06-07-2007 at 12:11 AM.

06-07-2007, 07:49 AM	#22 (permalink)
roz Jetgirls Ol' School Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Philly Posts: 2,188 Recipes: Thanks: 0 Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts	Re: struggling Everyone's circumstances are different. I give the crew my gifts after the flight. I don't want to be pointed out--they know who I am from the manifest and always acknowledge me as such. But if I am a non-rev, either I am traveling with DH as a passenger (so they know who he is too) or I'm by myself. If I'm by myself and they are available to chat, we do. If they are busy, which they usually are, I let them get their job done. As for going up front to the cockpit, DH's airline does quick turns. So I would definately be in the way. The FA's are busy trying to get 200 people seated in 15 minutes to make that 30 minute turn, so they would not be taking pictures for me either! And, if I ever were on his flight and tried to take a picture of him, DH would not be happy! But, again, everyone is different! And, since I fly so much for work, my pleasure trips are usually not short ones. I don't want to encounter many more TSA agents and lines than I have to endure for work!

06-28-2008, 09:01 PM	#23 (permalink)
Cristine Jetgirls Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Michigan Posts: 25 Recipes: Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: struggling this is something I am really really struggling with and after 7 years, it is still difficult. I use to be a F/A and it is really hard work but when you are done, you get to eat in a restaurant, relax, see the city, your time is your time. I really miss traveling. I really miss being in different places and staying in different hotels. I loved it. and I do get very resentful of DH still flying. He has so much more free time than I do. I don't get to eat in restaurants or travel (mortgage issues) I do'nt regret our decision. I am home w/our young children and love raising them. but the thought of getting a few night away sounds like heaven. and like some of the others said, it seems that when I've got a little one puking or coughing, I'll get a call saying something like, "yea, I'm at the beach' and I wanna SCREAM!!! I know this is his job. but I don't know how to turn these feelings off. Nonrevving is not an option. DH flies for private company now. I would love some advice. THX

06-29-2008, 07:41 AM	#24 (permalink)
SWAFOWIFE Jetgirls Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Saint Augustine, FL Posts: 110 Recipes: Thanks: 1 Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts	Re: struggling As for going up front to the cockpit, DH's airline does quick turns. So I would definately be in the way. The FA's are busy trying to get 200 people seated in 15 minutes to make that 30 minute turn, so they would not be taking pictures for me either! And, if I ever were on his flight and tried to take a picture of him, DH would not be happy! But, again, everyone is different! Roz...my dh like yours does quick turns and they flight crews change throughout the day. Dh has been bidding PM trips vs. AM trips for a while and when you finish at midnight it doesn't allow a lot of social time. It seems very different now from when he was at the regionals and he flew with the same crew for days and they were done and in a hotel earlier. Oh, how this subject was such a soar one for so long!! We have been together since '99 and dh was hired by regionals in 2000 and those first 2 years at the regionals were very hard for me to deal with all the social dinners/drinks. All the giggling in the background while I'm on the phone with dh and he's drinking beer at a sports bar with the crew. Our first baby had horrible colic and of course would scream everynight night from 6-10/11pm like clockwork. Dh would call and I could tell he was drinking but couldn't hear him over the baby screaming. I thought I was going to loose my mind! We definitely pulled apart during that time and many of nights when the baby finally stopped crying I would just break down crying too! It seemed like for so long that our conversations would end with me saying "well I'm glad YOUR having fun" Somewhere along those 2 years things changed and my trust grew and I convinced myself that worrying and questioning is not going to stop anyone from hitting on my dh. I will say that Dh has also gotten a lot better with his communication. Dh's days are longer than they use to be generally and the turns are definitely faster so he is a lot more tired when his day is over and he just wants to relax in his room after eating. These days I find myself thinking of ways I can spoil him a little when he gets home because he has worked his tail off when he is gone. I know exactly what some of you are feeling and it SUCKS! That's all I can say is that in my case things did get better a lot better. One thing that I did change was I started doing things for myself. In Dh's second year at the regionals I joined a gym with daycare and started working out again. It was a great stress reliever and it gave me that much needed 1 -2 hour break from the baby. I not only felt like a better person but a better Mom because I got that down time to recharge myself. Whatever you do make time for yourself. __________________ Shannon Elvis has left the building bye bye Vegas base..HELLO Orlando!

06-29-2008, 07:42 AM	#25 (permalink)
SWAFOWIFE Jetgirls Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Saint Augustine, FL Posts: 110 Recipes: Thanks: 1 Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts	Re: struggling oops! that first paragraph was a Roz quote ! __________________ Shannon Elvis has left the building bye bye Vegas base..HELLO Orlando!

06-30-2008, 08:39 AM	#27 (permalink)
Cristine Jetgirls Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Michigan Posts: 25 Recipes: Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: struggling thanks Kristie! this is where I need the help. I don't want to be resentful. I don't think I have a "right" to it. I'm having a hard time figuring out what my "perks". I am kind of stuck. I know my obstacles are not insurmontable but there are some obstacles. I can not do any type of spa day or anything. our finances will not allow it. I know you girls get this better than the average world, but my husband doesn't make the money that others seem to think pilots make. and we ran into some mortgage issues. when he got the job at Northwest, we thought we were set for life. but 9/11 happened, he lost that job, and we've had to readjust our expectations. I can not be a flight attendant again. we both can't be gone overnight. i do have other passions I would like to pursue once they are in school full-time, which is in a few years. but I don't want to wish this time away either, youknow? they are so very precious. I am very open to any advice. I belong to a sahm board and they have great posts about this kind of thing but their advice really only pertains to sahms that have hubby's with a regular schedule. but please I've tried to guilt myself out of it and it doesn't work so please don't try to make me feel bad. I am appreciative of what I have. I am very blessed. it just feels like my days are filled w/tedious chores and he's having adventures. are there any other sahms here who struggle with this?? THANK you!!!

06-30-2008, 08:52 AM	#28 (permalink)
Cristine Jetgirls Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Michigan Posts: 25 Recipes: Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: struggling I think I'm threadjacking. I'm gonna start a new thread!

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