New to this entire thing.... - Page 2

flygirl813126 · 11-20-2006, 06:24 PM

The major thing is to try and find where you both have freetime in your schedules. I tell DH to call at certain times since I know I won't be in a meeting or with students then.

JenniPage · 11-20-2006, 09:29 PM

I am a performance artist, and I don't have a schedule to work around. He calls me at all times. I almost never sleep, so he knows that he won;t disturb me if he calls in the middle of the night.

I guess I am just confused because it seems to me that if he REALLY wanted to talk to me, he would make the time. I am not asking for hours at a time, but it would be amazing to just have a 2 minute call to say that he was thinking of me.

I feel like such a baby for griping about this. I have been doing this for 2-3 months, and you beautiful ladies have been doing this for YEARS...

Matthew, my BF, tells me that if I can just hang on for about 2 years then he will have enough seniority to have a much better schedule. I can do anything if I see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I have a really odd question.... Do you ladies ever send racey emails or pics? I don't mind the idea, but I don't like the idea of anyone else ever having access to them...

Talk to you later, ladies!

Amanda · 11-21-2006, 05:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JenniPage

I have a really odd question.... Do you ladies ever send racey emails or pics? I don't mind the idea, but I don't like the idea of anyone else ever having access to them...

If you send racey pics, they will most likely be shared! Be careful!

JenniPage · 11-21-2006, 05:31 PM

That was my thought.... Grrrr.........

Kristie · 11-21-2006, 10:54 PM

just to add to everyone else's excellent advice...

you've probably heard the trend in the posts that communication is EVERYTHING... it is not at all demanding, per se, to ask for 5 minutes out of everyday just to hear a voice on the other line..whether it's saying hi or "on my way to JFK" or whatever....however, if you were to demand that you talk everyday for an hour, well, that'd just be another situation entirely. One thing you'll learn here is patience really IS a virtue!! but you have to also make sure that you don't get taken advantage of also.

however... i do have to add a hint of caution that your in a VERY new relationship that has a lot of different boundaries from a *typical* everyday "'there" relationship...you cannot be naive, if you think you see red flags.. you have to face them right then and there...

and in all honesty, i would say keep making this a "fun" relationship.. your dating, it's all new...take your time, get to know him via distance whether it's by phone, email, chat sessions, letter/card, text message.. whatever means necessary.. but do not stop dating other people or start thinking exclusive yet...the relationship is too new for you to start thinking on a really long term scale. I'd say once you get to a year of being together, then you can start thinking more seriously...

but right now, you just want to get to know the guy.. on the inside...that's where relationships like these are actually helpful. Altho he's away, you can get to know the inner person via other methods than IN person kwim? i'd expect you to take full advantage of that aspect because the inner person is going to tell you more information than you would ever want to know AND it might give you the red flags a lot faster also.

ironing out the wrinkles in a relationship is never easy but knowing the person on the inside really helps you figure out how to do so in a more efficient way.

so keep having fun with this, don't get too serious too quickly and make sure you continue dating each other until you both (and i mean BOTH) are ready to take this to the next level.

oh and i totally ditto on the racy pics...doug's latest captain recently showed him a cellphone picture of his girlfriend "doing the whip cream thing on her chest and i was like eewwwww, i didn't need to see that" (as he said it). the only thing doug thought was absolutely hilarious was that the guys feet were in every single photo cuz he was sitting when he took them (weird!!)

so even in the major's guys tend to brag and show the pics around....in the regionals, i think it's much worse simply because of age and immaturity.

flyershoe · 11-22-2006, 08:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kristie

so even in the major's guys tend to brag and show the pics around....in the regionals, i think it's much worse simply because of age and immaturity.

Ditto... what I like sending are messages with pictures of me laying in bed saying "wish you were here" or something like that... (my bf said his favorite pic was of me laying in bed hugging these stuffed animals that I sleep with when he's gone... kinda cheesy but oh well!) but these are pics of my face, and I'm in PJ's! LOL... don't take any pics that you wouldn't mind having the whole world seeing. Like for me, I take exotic dance for fitness reasons, so sometimes I get goofy and take pictures of myself on the pole or whatever, but I'm wearing clothing that I wouldn't mind a family member seeing. Ya know? It can be sexy or whatever, but nothing showing more than you're willing to share.

UPSwife · 11-22-2006, 09:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JenniPage

I guess I am just confused because it seems to me that if he REALLY wanted to talk to me, he would make the time. I am not asking for hours at a time, but it would be amazing to just have a 2 minute call to say that he was thinking of me.

I think that if you feel uncomfortable about this, you may be seeing his true colors. Being unable to communicate with you due to schedules, etc. is one thing; but being unwilling to put forth the effort is another. I know pilots schedules are different than ours, but if my husband is in the U.S. I talk to him every day--even if it is a two minute call while he waits for the shuttle. When he is overseas, it may be less frequent, but he will write me letters on his laptop if he does not have access and sends them when he does. I am not trying to sound like a downer, but if you feel like you deserve more, maybe you do. And, if he expects you to stick around for the next two years to see what will happen when he has more seniority, he should have to work at this relationship, too!

11-20-2006, 06:24 PM	#11 (permalink)
flygirl813126 Jetgirls Ol' School Member Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Northwest Suburbs, IL Posts: 778 Recipes: Thanks: 1 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post	Re: New to this entire thing.... The major thing is to try and find where you both have freetime in your schedules. I tell DH to call at certain times since I know I won't be in a meeting or with students then.

11-20-2006, 09:29 PM	#12 (permalink)
JenniPage Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: St. Louis, MO Posts: 9 Recipes: Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: New to this entire thing.... I am a performance artist, and I don't have a schedule to work around. He calls me at all times. I almost never sleep, so he knows that he won;t disturb me if he calls in the middle of the night. I guess I am just confused because it seems to me that if he REALLY wanted to talk to me, he would make the time. I am not asking for hours at a time, but it would be amazing to just have a 2 minute call to say that he was thinking of me. I feel like such a baby for griping about this. I have been doing this for 2-3 months, and you beautiful ladies have been doing this for YEARS... Matthew, my BF, tells me that if I can just hang on for about 2 years then he will have enough seniority to have a much better schedule. I can do anything if I see the light at the end of the tunnel. I have a really odd question.... Do you ladies ever send racey emails or pics? I don't mind the idea, but I don't like the idea of anyone else ever having access to them... Talk to you later, ladies! __________________ XOXO!!! Jenni

11-21-2006, 05:31 PM	#14 (permalink)
JenniPage Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: St. Louis, MO Posts: 9 Recipes: Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: New to this entire thing.... That was my thought.... Grrrr......... __________________ XOXO!!! Jenni

11-21-2006, 10:54 PM	#15 (permalink)
Kristie Admin/Owner Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Scottsdale, Arizona Posts: 6,631 Recipes: Thanks: 7 Thanked 17 Times in 17 Posts	Re: New to this entire thing.... just to add to everyone else's excellent advice... you've probably heard the trend in the posts that communication is EVERYTHING... it is not at all demanding, per se, to ask for 5 minutes out of everyday just to hear a voice on the other line..whether it's saying hi or "on my way to JFK" or whatever....however, if you were to demand that you talk everyday for an hour, well, that'd just be another situation entirely. One thing you'll learn here is patience really IS a virtue!! but you have to also make sure that you don't get taken advantage of also. however... i do have to add a hint of caution that your in a VERY new relationship that has a lot of different boundaries from a typical everyday "'there" relationship...you cannot be naive, if you think you see red flags.. you have to face them right then and there... and in all honesty, i would say keep making this a "fun" relationship.. your dating, it's all new...take your time, get to know him via distance whether it's by phone, email, chat sessions, letter/card, text message.. whatever means necessary.. but do not stop dating other people or start thinking exclusive yet...the relationship is too new for you to start thinking on a really long term scale. I'd say once you get to a year of being together, then you can start thinking more seriously... but right now, you just want to get to know the guy.. on the inside...that's where relationships like these are actually helpful. Altho he's away, you can get to know the inner person via other methods than IN person kwim? i'd expect you to take full advantage of that aspect because the inner person is going to tell you more information than you would ever want to know AND it might give you the red flags a lot faster also. ironing out the wrinkles in a relationship is never easy but knowing the person on the inside really helps you figure out how to do so in a more efficient way. so keep having fun with this, don't get too serious too quickly and make sure you continue dating each other until you both (and i mean BOTH) are ready to take this to the next level. oh and i totally ditto on the racy pics...doug's latest captain recently showed him a cellphone picture of his girlfriend "doing the whip cream thing on her chest and i was like eewwwww, i didn't need to see that" (as he said it). the only thing doug thought was absolutely hilarious was that the guys feet were in every single photo cuz he was sitting when he took them (weird!!) so even in the major's guys tend to brag and show the pics around....in the regionals, i think it's much worse simply because of age and immaturity. __________________ www.jetcareers.com Last edited by Kristie; 11-21-2006 at 11:01 PM.

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