My parents are visiting

Amanda · 01-26-2005, 07:45 PM

First, let me say that I love my parents. They are good people. But...

They are visiting tomorrow night until Monday (I know, not that long). Every time Nick has seen me with them, I seem to revert back to a child. My dad is super-critical of everything I do (not good enough, could have done it a better/different way, etc). My mom is the sweetest person around, but comes across as very ditzy. She also treats me like I'm a kid (are you taking vitamins, eating vegetables, etc). My dad also tends to drone on and on about things.

I don't know if this is a vent, but I just wanted to get this out of my system. I want this to be a nice visit. Really I do. I know my parents too well though- once we spend some time together we end up arguing!!
I guess we'll see....
[img]images/graemlins/bitch.gif[/img] [img]images/graemlins/sport30.gif[/img] [img]images/graemlins/868.gif[/img]

Kristie · 01-26-2005, 10:01 PM

i know how you feel.. my dad's here this weekend too...so far, so good!

good luck with yours amanda! sometimes what you have to do is disagree with everything they say so they can see what an adult you are... either that or i've gotten used to just saying "no"...after a while, it catches on! hahaha

move the furniture here? NO
am i taking vitamins? NO
can you go get me some coffee? NO
and on and on and on

roz · 01-27-2005, 05:48 AM

Amanda, What kinds of activities do you do with your parents when they visit? I would pick a project and enlist their help when my parents came. And it would be a project that would allow them to exercise their parental instincts and yet play on the adult level. For example, during one visit I showed them that the wood floor in my first floor office had no sub floor. So it would get cold in the winter. Now, they would not be good parents if they allowed their baby to have cold feet! I enlisted their help in finding a rug. We went sightseeing and would slip into shops to view rugs. We discussed practicality/decor. They ended up buying the rug! [img]images/graemlins/arms.gif[/img]

What do they like to do? There are lots of sights to see, etc.

Look, they want to be needed. You have to find a way to accommodate that while displaying your adult independence. [img]images/graemlins/yeahthat.gif[/img]

Or, you could just fight! [img]images/graemlins/868.gif[/img]

Kristie · 01-27-2005, 06:48 AM

yup! i do that with my dad too.. he's a 'fix up yer house" type of guy and so i always have ways for him to pay me back for the ticket.. this time around, i need him to show me how to replace some of my travertine tiles... window wash the very high windows with ease and create some more storage in the garage! we'll see how much he can get accomplished inbetween relaxing! hahaha

parents like to feel 'needed" and it's always good that you go have some fun.. but also give them something that they know they are helping you with like finding a new car or fixing up problems with your apt... who knows what, but they feel good when they know you needed them for something (no matter how small it is).

your mom just may want to spend some time shopping with you (ie: grab a coffee and walk the mall window type shopping). you know - girl time! then she won't have a need to ask those questions.

Amanda · 01-27-2005, 07:54 PM

My dad just LOVES to do fix-up stuff. I have a couple of small projects for him. He actually offered to re-tile my kitchen floor in one weekend- HA! My mom wants to "see the desert" which is like me visiting them and saying I want to "see the suburbs"! I already got Nick off the hook this weekend by telling them that he is studying for a test. He's seen me w/ the parents and is a bit worried. He also needs to decompress. I just picked him up an hour ago (Southwest) and now I'm heading out to pick up my parents (Delta). Thanks for the advice gals. I will make them feel needed.

I just hope it doesn't rain this weekend... it's in the forecast! [img]images/graemlins/thumbs_up.gif[/img]

roz · 01-27-2005, 08:48 PM

Amanda,

So just show her some desert!!! Then take her shopping (where you want things)!

What you guys need to understand is that us parents of adult children want to feel involved, and want to feel helpful. We have an empty nest and that is hard.

I did it with my parents--I wish they were still around!

Have a great visit!!!!!!!!!!

Roz

Kristie · 01-27-2005, 08:55 PM

We'll have to compare notes amanda! hahaha

I just wish my dad wasn't such a big theory conspiritor.. he's not that big on it, but it seems like everything is innuendo and i get tired of becoming "involved" in his weird theories or what not.

Amanda · 01-31-2005, 08:00 PM

Just a quick update-
We actually had a very nice visit! There were a few things that got on my nerves, but in all, we didn't fight and I got a chance to show them the desert. I wish the weather was a little better, but all well.
Thanks for all of the advice. My dad replaced an outdoor motion sensor light and trimmed some of my trees- I tried to keep him busy.

Now that they're gone, it's time to revisit my San Fransisco trip planning!

Kristie · 01-31-2005, 08:31 PM

Wasn't that hail that other day just something? we had a nice sheen of white on the roof for at least a good hour! i got a few pictures and will post them when i get a chance

glad you had a good time with your parents! i had an ok time with my dad.. we have some issues to work out, but all in all, he's better than last time i saw him. We had heck of a time trying to get him out of town though! monday was horrid with the ice storm in atlanta and we decided to have him stay one more night.. then we tried early this morning.. no dice...but this afternoon opened up, so i took him back down to the airport and he was able to get on a late afternoon flight.. it's just too bad he'll get back home so late but heck, at least he won't have to get up at 4am to catch a 6:40 flight tomorrow! hahaha

we were really disappointed with barrett jackson.. the setup was the same (as far as the vendors)..beers were expensive.. it was $50 for an adult to get in - and that didn't include any free beers...they increased the grandstand area so walking around in the big tent was awful!just too crowded that for $50, it just wasn't worth it.

nice that you got your dad to do a few things - i bet he felt pretty good about that huh? I tried to get my dad to doa few things, but was only able to get him to change a high lightbulb for me.. he was just too preoccupied with "other things" unfortunately.

did your mom like hte desert? is that what she wanted to see? did you two connect up a bit more?

Chi829 · 02-01-2005, 05:32 PM

My future in laws are here with me now, and DH is on reserve in ATL until Thurs. Luckily my future in-laws and I get along BEAUTIFULLY, i am very lucky in that dept. [img]images/graemlins/woot.gif[/img]

01-26-2005, 07:45 PM	#1 (permalink)
Amanda Jetgirls Plus Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: PHL suburbs Posts: 2,140 Recipes: Thanks: 12 Thanked 11 Times in 11 Posts	My parents are visiting First, let me say that I love my parents. They are good people. But... They are visiting tomorrow night until Monday (I know, not that long). Every time Nick has seen me with them, I seem to revert back to a child. My dad is super-critical of everything I do (not good enough, could have done it a better/different way, etc). My mom is the sweetest person around, but comes across as very ditzy. She also treats me like I'm a kid (are you taking vitamins, eating vegetables, etc). My dad also tends to drone on and on about things. I don't know if this is a vent, but I just wanted to get this out of my system. I want this to be a nice visit. Really I do. I know my parents too well though- once we spend some time together we end up arguing!! I guess we'll see.... [img]images/graemlins/bitch.gif[/img] [img]images/graemlins/sport30.gif[/img] [img]images/graemlins/868.gif[/img]

01-26-2005, 10:01 PM	#2 (permalink)
Kristie Admin/Owner Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Scottsdale, Arizona Posts: 6,631 Recipes: Thanks: 7 Thanked 17 Times in 17 Posts	Re: My parents are visiting i know how you feel.. my dad's here this weekend too...so far, so good! good luck with yours amanda! sometimes what you have to do is disagree with everything they say so they can see what an adult you are... either that or i've gotten used to just saying "no"...after a while, it catches on! hahaha move the furniture here? NO am i taking vitamins? NO can you go get me some coffee? NO and on and on and on

01-27-2005, 05:48 AM	#3 (permalink)
roz Jetgirls Ol' School Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Philly Posts: 2,256 Recipes: Thanks: 0 Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts	Re: My parents are visiting Amanda, What kinds of activities do you do with your parents when they visit? I would pick a project and enlist their help when my parents came. And it would be a project that would allow them to exercise their parental instincts and yet play on the adult level. For example, during one visit I showed them that the wood floor in my first floor office had no sub floor. So it would get cold in the winter. Now, they would not be good parents if they allowed their baby to have cold feet! I enlisted their help in finding a rug. We went sightseeing and would slip into shops to view rugs. We discussed practicality/decor. They ended up buying the rug! [img]images/graemlins/arms.gif[/img] What do they like to do? There are lots of sights to see, etc. Look, they want to be needed. You have to find a way to accommodate that while displaying your adult independence. [img]images/graemlins/yeahthat.gif[/img] Or, you could just fight! [img]images/graemlins/868.gif[/img]

01-27-2005, 06:48 AM	#4 (permalink)
Kristie Admin/Owner Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Scottsdale, Arizona Posts: 6,631 Recipes: Thanks: 7 Thanked 17 Times in 17 Posts	Re: My parents are visiting yup! i do that with my dad too.. he's a 'fix up yer house" type of guy and so i always have ways for him to pay me back for the ticket.. this time around, i need him to show me how to replace some of my travertine tiles... window wash the very high windows with ease and create some more storage in the garage! we'll see how much he can get accomplished inbetween relaxing! hahaha parents like to feel 'needed" and it's always good that you go have some fun.. but also give them something that they know they are helping you with like finding a new car or fixing up problems with your apt... who knows what, but they feel good when they know you needed them for something (no matter how small it is). your mom just may want to spend some time shopping with you (ie: grab a coffee and walk the mall window type shopping). you know - girl time! then she won't have a need to ask those questions.

01-27-2005, 07:54 PM	#5 (permalink)
Amanda Jetgirls Plus Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: PHL suburbs Posts: 2,140 Recipes: Thanks: 12 Thanked 11 Times in 11 Posts	Re: My parents are visiting My dad just LOVES to do fix-up stuff. I have a couple of small projects for him. He actually offered to re-tile my kitchen floor in one weekend- HA! My mom wants to "see the desert" which is like me visiting them and saying I want to "see the suburbs"! I already got Nick off the hook this weekend by telling them that he is studying for a test. He's seen me w/ the parents and is a bit worried. He also needs to decompress. I just picked him up an hour ago (Southwest) and now I'm heading out to pick up my parents (Delta). Thanks for the advice gals. I will make them feel needed. I just hope it doesn't rain this weekend... it's in the forecast! [img]images/graemlins/thumbs_up.gif[/img]

01-27-2005, 08:48 PM	#6 (permalink)
roz Jetgirls Ol' School Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Philly Posts: 2,256 Recipes: Thanks: 0 Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts	Re: My parents are visiting Amanda, So just show her some desert!!! Then take her shopping (where you want things)! What you guys need to understand is that us parents of adult children want to feel involved, and want to feel helpful. We have an empty nest and that is hard. I did it with my parents--I wish they were still around! Have a great visit!!!!!!!!!! Roz

01-27-2005, 08:55 PM	#7 (permalink)
Kristie Admin/Owner Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Scottsdale, Arizona Posts: 6,631 Recipes: Thanks: 7 Thanked 17 Times in 17 Posts	Re: My parents are visiting We'll have to compare notes amanda! hahaha I just wish my dad wasn't such a big theory conspiritor.. he's not that big on it, but it seems like everything is innuendo and i get tired of becoming "involved" in his weird theories or what not.

01-31-2005, 08:00 PM	#8 (permalink)
Amanda Jetgirls Plus Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: PHL suburbs Posts: 2,140 Recipes: Thanks: 12 Thanked 11 Times in 11 Posts	Re: My parents are visiting Just a quick update- We actually had a very nice visit! There were a few things that got on my nerves, but in all, we didn't fight and I got a chance to show them the desert. I wish the weather was a little better, but all well. Thanks for all of the advice. My dad replaced an outdoor motion sensor light and trimmed some of my trees- I tried to keep him busy. Now that they're gone, it's time to revisit my San Fransisco trip planning!

01-31-2005, 08:31 PM	#9 (permalink)
Kristie Admin/Owner Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Scottsdale, Arizona Posts: 6,631 Recipes: Thanks: 7 Thanked 17 Times in 17 Posts	Re: My parents are visiting Wasn't that hail that other day just something? we had a nice sheen of white on the roof for at least a good hour! i got a few pictures and will post them when i get a chance glad you had a good time with your parents! i had an ok time with my dad.. we have some issues to work out, but all in all, he's better than last time i saw him. We had heck of a time trying to get him out of town though! monday was horrid with the ice storm in atlanta and we decided to have him stay one more night.. then we tried early this morning.. no dice...but this afternoon opened up, so i took him back down to the airport and he was able to get on a late afternoon flight.. it's just too bad he'll get back home so late but heck, at least he won't have to get up at 4am to catch a 6:40 flight tomorrow! hahaha we were really disappointed with barrett jackson.. the setup was the same (as far as the vendors)..beers were expensive.. it was $50 for an adult to get in - and that didn't include any free beers...they increased the grandstand area so walking around in the big tent was awful!just too crowded that for $50, it just wasn't worth it. nice that you got your dad to do a few things - i bet he felt pretty good about that huh? I tried to get my dad to doa few things, but was only able to get him to change a high lightbulb for me.. he was just too preoccupied with "other things" unfortunately. did your mom like hte desert? is that what she wanted to see? did you two connect up a bit more?

02-01-2005, 05:32 PM	#10 (permalink)
Chi829 Jetgirls Ol' School Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Panama City, FL Posts: 1,376 Recipes: Thanks: 0 Thanked 7 Times in 7 Posts	Re: My parents are visiting My future in laws are here with me now, and DH is on reserve in ATL until Thurs. Luckily my future in-laws and I get along BEAUTIFULLY, i am very lucky in that dept. [img]images/graemlins/woot.gif[/img]

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