Fustrated

[Kristie]

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Skygirl said:
Thanks everyone. Ive met her and have no issues with her what so ever.

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Well, that's a good thing then!

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He is basically acting like he can do whatever, whenever.

[/ QUOTE ] Not to be "flopping sides", but if you think about it, he can do just that... he is his own person and shouldn't have to let you know about everything that he does during his day.. BUT as a common courtesy, it's nice if they do let us know what's up (and vice versa)! My DH does the same thing to exert his independent self and I have to let him do that because otherwise i'm completely controlling the situation and his life.. I don't wanna have to keep track of him, nor do i want him to call me with questions of "can i do", "can i go" blah blah blah.. last thing i want to be is his momma - he already has momma! and that might be wht he's rebelling against in this situation.

maybe he's just forgetting? have you told him that it's just out of common courtesy that you'd like to know what he's up to or when he goes out with her?

I tend to get to complex with my hubby, too much, sometimes.. in that if I notice that he hasn't gotten much done, I assume he's been a bum all day.. when in fact, he does things on his own time, has his own errands and our "to do" priorities on issues don't always match.. i have a feeling that happens in most relationships and the "leave the independence alone" part takes a little getting used to. Actually, come to think of it.. i still find it hard to get used to! [img]images/graemlins/crazy.gif[/img]

one thing you need to do is give yourself a break! If you know she's harmless, then you don't have that much to worry about really...you probably are thinking too hard about this, especially if you've met her and like her.. and keep in mind that he is his own person.. needs to do his own things to maintain control of his own life..

most of all, keep in mind that your dating - your not fully committed as if by marriage or what not...and your still learning about each other! keep it fun!

it sounds more and more like he's trying to exhibit and maintain some control.. some men are afraid of committment because they want a mate (someone who will continue to let them play before "grow up mode" has to set in with kids), not a mom that keeps track of all whearabouts or what not(and no, i'm not saying you are acting like one at all, it's just an example!) and he probably will fight with you as if it's "his way or the highway" but for the most part, ya'll are learning how to play tug of war.. eventually, you'll both get start understanding the "common courtesy" clause and will loosen up the rope some, meeting somewhere in the middle! every now and then, you'll go back to a tug of war session which will help you both learn more about compromising etc...then later on, the common courtesy clause will really come into play because both sides will wnat to make sure there aren't many tug of war sessions left to exert (if this makes any sense at all!)

Just keep talking to him, let him go out and play and see what happens when you don't make a fuss about it! keep in mind that if your trying to make a point to the hubby, sometimes proving that point by example catches on.. also talking calmy and rationally is what they hear.. anything else goings in one ear/out the other.

Hope this helps a little! [img]images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]