Ill get things started

[TheWife]

If you want just parenting advice, pregnancyandbaby.com is a GREAT website, you can go to the message boards and find "Due in Nov" moms. I was there when I was due in May 2002, and I still talk to the ladies everday on the message boards. We help each other figure out how to be parents and how to cope. In fact I met 4 of them that live in FL while were doing flight school tours last week.

[Liz]

I am a regular at the ivillage "november Expecting Club" message board for all the parent/ pregnancy stuff. I was referring more to the issue of being married to and raising a new baby with a pilot who is gone 1/2 the time. That's the stuff I need to know more about and most of the women at the November club's husbands work "normal" 9-5 jobs and are home at night.
Im starting to really worry about things like what happens if DH is on an overnight in Miami or something and I go into labor in the middle of the night and he can't get a flight home until the next morning. I really want him there since none of my family lives nearby. His family and my family all live about 1000 miles away. I dunno. has anyone been through soemthing like that?-Liz

[TheWife]

Ok, sorry, I wasn't sure which was you meant. I really hope for you that your dh doesn't miss it!! Is there anyway you could perhaps try to go into labor when he will be home? Is there a time close enough to your due date that it would be safe? If he does miss it, it might be fun to set up some ways that he can still be involved, like maybe this sounds cheesy, but if he is in a hotel, you could each get a webcam, then you can talk to him throughout and still hear his voice. I bet the hospital would have no problem allowing you to have a laptop in the room so that you could do that. And then you'd still have it when you went home as well so that he could see and talk to you and the baby when ever he can. I want to get a webcam as soon as we can afford a lap top, for when my dh is on the road. (At least it will be a while before we need it though.)

[Rachel]

Hi Liz,
I haven't been in your situation before, but, I would definately make a plan. I had my parents nearby with my second child while my husband was flying.
Do you have anyone next door that would be willing to drive you just in case?
Maybe you could ask your doctor to induce while your husband is at home. Explain your situation and some doctors will help you out.
As far as being alone with the newborn, just make SURE you sleep when the baby sleeps. (I know you've probably heard that before) Don't worry about what the house looks like and all that. I made that mistake with both my kids and I'm still sleep deprived and my son is 6 months old.
Yes, it's going to be hard with only one car. Is there ANY other way your dh could get to the airport? Maybe in the near future you guys could get an old "beater" to get him to work?!!! I know, easier said that done.
I hope this helps in some way. Good luck! Rachel

[MQAAord]

My husband and I had our first baby July 10. He's a pilot for Delta, and he was GOING to be home when Alex was born. Period. I wasn't going to have it any other way. When we told our doctor we wanted to induce, and explained our situation, he said "no problem, we'll talk about a date when you get to be about 28-29 weeks". Alex was born at 36 weeks, and everything went very well.
Yes, you will feel like a single parent. My dh took FMLA (Family Medical Leave Act) which is federally guaranteed time off after Alex was born. This is a great option to get some time off, you get 12 weeks unpaid leave anytime within a year after birthdate. Once dh went back to work (after 3 weeks) though, I was on my own.

Alex just woke up, I"ll post more later!

[MQAAord]

Okay, baby's asleep for the night. (Well, for as much of a night as a two month old has!)
Having lived the life myself for many years, I understand what's involved in 'the life of a pilot'.
Sometimes dh feels like he's missing things while he's gone. He was gone for 5 days of reserve once and he swore that the baby had changed while he was away. Basically, remember this, although there is a chance that dh may miss baby's first words, they're not the not the only words baby will ever speak!
Dh sometimes wonders why I always put the baby's car seat in the car, and don't wait for him to do it, or why I'll take baby with me when I run errands when he's home. I guess I just get used to doing things by myself, and I take the baby with me wherever I go, so it's not a big deal for me to put the baby in the car and just go!
Being a pilots-wife-mommy is not alwasy easy, and it is different from being a mommy with a daddy with a 'real job'. You do what you have to do, and you get by. You are great parents, despite not exactly having a 'normal' schedule.

Although I'm furloughed, I have a full-time job. I don't get paid in dollars anymore, I'm paid in smiles!

[Liz]

Thanks MQAAcord! I have been thinking about inducing as well so that DH won't miss anything. Did you end up actually inducing at 36 weeks or did you just go into labor at that time on your own? We actually had a little practice session/ scare Sunday night of what would happen if DH were on a trip. Dh was in Miami and I started having contractions and spotting, so I had my friend take me to the hospital and I called DH and he wanted to come home and so he caught the next flight home from Miami and another friend of ours picked him up. It all actually worked out OK. Im OK by the way and the baby is fine. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] . Im 32 weeks now, so I am getting very anxious and excited about all this.
By the way, were you a pilot too? You said you were furloughed. I was just curious. thanks so much for your input!-Liz

[MQAAord]

Congrats on your upcoming arrival! I wish you the best during your delivery and hope for a healthy little one [img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

We did schedule to be induced, and it happened as scheduled. We showed up to the hospital at 6 am, I was hooked up to the pitocin by 7, the doctor broke my water at 8. At 1145 I got my epidural and didn't feel anything until about 545 that evening. Then the epidural wasn't 'enough' anymore, and after the doctor had to, umm, reach up and 'help' the baby because his head was hung up on the bone in the birth canal, I had to have an extra boost in the epidural tube, and I was completely numbed from the waist down during the actual delivery. Alex officially arrived at 745 pm.

Scheduling to be induced was the only way to go as far as I'm concerned. Sure, I could have gone into labor early, but I was more relaxed 'knowing' when it was going to happen, so I wasn't paranoid about every little twinge I felt when DH was gone. I did spend a lot longer at the hospital than most women do, because I didn't get to spend the first few hours of labor at home. Still, I wouldn't do it any other way.

I do have a pilot's license, but I'm furloughed from AA as a flight attendant.

Happy to give any other input I can about being a pilots-wife-mommy!

[swawife]

My husband is a first officer for SWA, he was and still is an Air Force pilot also. He has only been to 3 or 4 of our children's birthday parties. They will be 12 and 10 in a couple of weeks. He has missed too many firsts to even count. First word, first steps, first tooth in, first tooth out, first day of school, first soccer, baseball, football games, first cheerleading competition, broken arm, broken leg, awards ceremonies at school and too many other firsts to name. I was 7 months pregnant with my son when my husband graduated from pilot training and left to learn how to fly the jet assigned to him. He returned when my son was 4 months old. The only reason he was present at his birth was because I went to where he was training 2 weeks before my due date. Air Force doctors don't induce to make it conveinent for everyone. My daughter was 3 weeks early, thank goodness because he was on his way to Alaska about her due date. And I was on bed rest! I have moved or unpacked alone more than once. I had a miscarriage last December, and he was gone. Get used to being a single parent. People think I'm divorced. There is no quality time because when he's home, he's so busy getting everything ready for the next trip, he has no time. He tries to at least go to the kids practices for whatever sport they happen to be participating in at the time. But, he will miss many more firsts and that's something that can NEVER be replaced. My children are proud of their Dad for being an Air Force pilot, but they also wish he had a "normal" job. I feel sorry for them, they're the one who are getting changed. I wonder if it's worth it. He has his Masters Degree, there are other things he could be doing.
Anyway, that's my take on being a pilot's wife!

[MQAAord]

Being a military wife is tough, my mom was one, and I'm glad I'm not! Thank goodness being just an airline wife isn't quite so bad [img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] Being without my dh for a several month deployment would be very lonely. My dad spent two years in Vietnam right after my brother was born, he was present at his birth, but then gone for basically two solid years.
All of our military families deserve our repect and admiration for the sacrifices they make to serve their country.