Just venting...

DMK · 08-26-2009, 11:09 AM

I am feeling unappreciated by my BF!

First off, his schedule is laughable, we never have a day off together and September's schedule is only two days off at a time so with his commute he will only be home approx. 24 hours each time he is home and I have to work. This makes it hard for me to even bring up any issues because he is never home and when he is, I understand that it is his time off and that he needs to relax and not listen to me complain.

However, I just spent MY two days off last weekend driving his 2nd car 10 hours so that he can have transportation at his crashpad. Then had to non-rev back home which all flights were over sold so I had to fly to Tampa instead of Orlando and rent a car to drive home.

(This drive was MY idea, since he wasn't home anyway and I want to see him when he is off rather than have him be gone driving the car. )

I guess my issue is that when he IS home, I still have to go to work and then come home to make him dinner. And I still have to keep up with the household stuff. (although I do like taking care of him)
I understand that he doesn't get much time off and wants to relax and do what he wants, but I am just frustrated with it.

I also understand that when he does come home that he doesn't want to go anywhere because he is always away and always eats out. But sometimes I want to go out!!!!!!! Not everytime, just sometimes!

I have told him all of this. Over and over, especially since he can't HEAR ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Flying has definately affected his hearing!!!!
And he does make an effort to help me and take me out, I just feel like I have to ASK for it, I want him to initiate sometimes. But he is getting better.

I am just frustrated and I know ALL of you, especially the moms, know exactly what I am talking about. I can't imagine how hard it will be when children are involved!

Anyway, Thanks for listening to me vent! Its nice to know that others understand my situation. And if anyone has advice, I welcome it

Dana K

Regina · 08-26-2009, 11:36 AM

How long have you been together?

DMK · 08-26-2009, 11:58 AM

We've been together almost 2 years, living together 1 1/2.

He was in airline training when we got together (we've had mutual friends since highschool). he worked for 6 months and then was furloughed for 6 months. He got called back in Feb. but he is on reserve and hasn't held a line yet.

JJDriver · 09-01-2009, 08:23 PM

I'm sorry to hear that. It's easy to see both sides, but, fair or not, most guys have to be super significant other when they're home. When I'm home, and this seems to be the norm with most of the guys I work with, I handle everything from cleaning house to having dinner on the table every night. From the time I walk in the door from a trip I'm usually starting a load of clothes or dinner, and I still catch a lot of flack for not being home every night.

It's extremely hard being on reserve and having to play catch up when you're home. But he also needs to remember that you're sacrificing a lot by putting up with it as well. Good Luck!

BrynnElizabeth · 11-02-2009, 09:57 AM

Hi Dana! I am pretty new to the group and haven't posted in a loooonnng time but I just wanted to make contact with you as I think you are the closest person near my location. My BF is an flight instructor still as he just can't seem to break into the regional airlines like so many others right now. I do know though from talking to others that flying reserve is hell and your situation sounds like a lot of others on reserve I know. My BF isn't away from home like yours but he does instruct constantly and by the time he gets home he's not up to going out. All I can say is that keep in mind flying takes a mental and physical toll on a person, requiring them to be mentally "on their toes" so to speak for hours on end. Be patient with him. Remember to communicate through any means...facebook, cell etc. and try to come to some sort of a compromise, as to your schedule when he is home... also don't forget, reserve won't be forever! Although phrases like that in this economy seem cheesey, I just say that to myself to get through! If you ever need anything I am down the road in Fort Pierce!! Take care!!

08-26-2009, 11:09 AM	#1 (permalink)
DMK Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Melbourne, Florida Posts: 16	Just venting... I am feeling unappreciated by my BF! First off, his schedule is laughable, we never have a day off together and September's schedule is only two days off at a time so with his commute he will only be home approx. 24 hours each time he is home and I have to work. This makes it hard for me to even bring up any issues because he is never home and when he is, I understand that it is his time off and that he needs to relax and not listen to me complain. However, I just spent MY two days off last weekend driving his 2nd car 10 hours so that he can have transportation at his crashpad. Then had to non-rev back home which all flights were over sold so I had to fly to Tampa instead of Orlando and rent a car to drive home. (This drive was MY idea, since he wasn't home anyway and I want to see him when he is off rather than have him be gone driving the car. ) I guess my issue is that when he IS home, I still have to go to work and then come home to make him dinner. And I still have to keep up with the household stuff. (although I do like taking care of him) I understand that he doesn't get much time off and wants to relax and do what he wants, but I am just frustrated with it. I also understand that when he does come home that he doesn't want to go anywhere because he is always away and always eats out. But sometimes I want to go out!!!!!!! Not everytime, just sometimes! I have told him all of this. Over and over, especially since he can't HEAR ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Flying has definately affected his hearing!!!! And he does make an effort to help me and take me out, I just feel like I have to ASK for it, I want him to initiate sometimes. But he is getting better. I am just frustrated and I know ALL of you, especially the moms, know exactly what I am talking about. I can't imagine how hard it will be when children are involved! Anyway, Thanks for listening to me vent! Its nice to know that others understand my situation. And if anyone has advice, I welcome it Dana K

08-26-2009, 11:36 AM	#2 (permalink)
Regina Jetgirls Ol' School Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Southern state Posts: 2,054	Re: Just venting... How long have you been together? __________________ Regina "Birth is not the start of a new human life-just a change of the baby's environment" http://beingamommyandmore.blogspot.com/

08-26-2009, 11:58 AM	#3 (permalink)
DMK Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Melbourne, Florida Posts: 16	Re: Just venting... We've been together almost 2 years, living together 1 1/2. He was in airline training when we got together (we've had mutual friends since highschool). he worked for 6 months and then was furloughed for 6 months. He got called back in Feb. but he is on reserve and hasn't held a line yet.

09-01-2009, 08:23 PM	#4 (permalink)
JJDriver Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: United States Posts: 17	Re: Just venting... I'm sorry to hear that. It's easy to see both sides, but, fair or not, most guys have to be super significant other when they're home. When I'm home, and this seems to be the norm with most of the guys I work with, I handle everything from cleaning house to having dinner on the table every night. From the time I walk in the door from a trip I'm usually starting a load of clothes or dinner, and I still catch a lot of flack for not being home every night. It's extremely hard being on reserve and having to play catch up when you're home. But he also needs to remember that you're sacrificing a lot by putting up with it as well. Good Luck!

11-02-2009, 09:57 AM	#5 (permalink)
BrynnElizabeth Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Fort Pierce, Florida Posts: 15	Re: Just venting... Hi Dana! I am pretty new to the group and haven't posted in a loooonnng time but I just wanted to make contact with you as I think you are the closest person near my location. My BF is an flight instructor still as he just can't seem to break into the regional airlines like so many others right now. I do know though from talking to others that flying reserve is hell and your situation sounds like a lot of others on reserve I know. My BF isn't away from home like yours but he does instruct constantly and by the time he gets home he's not up to going out. All I can say is that keep in mind flying takes a mental and physical toll on a person, requiring them to be mentally "on their toes" so to speak for hours on end. Be patient with him. Remember to communicate through any means...facebook, cell etc. and try to come to some sort of a compromise, as to your schedule when he is home... also don't forget, reserve won't be forever! Although phrases like that in this economy seem cheesey, I just say that to myself to get through! If you ever need anything I am down the road in Fort Pierce!! Take care!!

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