Intuition......???

[h0t4jel]

So me and my BF Pilot finally moved in together- sadly the day I moved in he went on tour for his week, Fine, no biggie.But he was calling at odd hours. Flight aware had him in one time and he said he got in another.

I thought " Ha hes probably flying with a chick" I scoffed and joked in my head. He didnt call til 11pm last night and then mentions he was flying with a girl. Why did I know that and why did it faze me?

He mentioned they ate "in" because they got in too late to " go out"
I thought that was abit odd, as he NEVER eats in, he always ventures out to somewhere. This is before he let me know what was up. I did NOT make a big deal out of it at all ( to him) but found the mere fact his behaviour was " off " to me odd.

I am not a jealous person what so ever and have never doubted him before. So what the heck is my problem you ask? Its my intuition that I knew something felt " different"

Should I chock it up to whatever and move on- or see how he acts the rest of the tour?

Im completely up in arms as I never had to deal with this, yet I dont want to show him my hand in this.

There arent ever any FA's on these trips as its a private airline.
Id welcome any advice or good thoughts.


Hugs!!!

[SeatClutcher]

I think you should do whatever feels right to you. Not very helpful, but only you know if you can and should wait, only you know whether you have something to worry about, and only you know how he'll respond when you honestly tell him what your concerns are and why you're having them.

P.S. The time between when flight aware has him down and the time he's finished doing all of his stuff can be vastly different - did he say he landed at a far different time than what flight aware said?

[katbuad]

Go with your gut! If your intuition is telling you something is wrong/off/odd than it probably is.

It helps me, mentally, when we have casual conversation about the people (female and male pilots & flight attendents) that hubby is flying with. Not confrontational, just casual. Their name, if they are married or have childern, ect. Hubby describes people in very similar and basic phrases. I always figure (hope) if he varies from this pattern I will be able to pick up on it and know that there is something there not quite right.

Also, the phone goes both ways. Yeah, hubby is usually the one to call me at our "normal time" but if he doesn't or I have something that I want to tell him, I pick up the phone and call him. I get voice mail when he is working but he always calls me back when he gets a chance. I am not left wondering & waiting for too long.

When you say that flight aware had him in at one time and he said another time how much time difference is there? 20 mins, an hour? I would ask him. 20 mins, maybe he is talking about gate time and unload passengers time. An hour, that might be something to be concerned about. You can always keep track and look at his paycheck. Money doesn't lie!

[skibum515]

Why don't you just talk to him about it? Probably a perfectly good explanation for things-

Just say something like "Hey you seemed a little bit wierd when we talked last night, is everything ok?" or "Tell me about your CA/FO - where's she from/what is she like?" Also, depending on where they were in the country 10 or 11pm really might be too late to venture out to find food - a lot of metropolitan areas close down around 9 or 10 (restraunts) and they might not have been near a bar to get that type of food.

I don't know - I think you should talk to him about it - it's what I would do, but I also realize that DF and I have a much more open realtionship (communication wise) than a lot of other couples. Talking about things when they happen can help stop the uneasy feelings that can build up and cause a lot of hositily and resentment down the line

[Comairwife]

I know it sounds cliche, but, I say that if it's bothering you, you need to investigate it. It's probably something innocent, but, if you let it simmer, it will bother you.
Have you talked to him about it?
Helen

[Mrs.Alchemist]

Originally Posted by katbuad

Go with your gut! If your intuition is telling you something is wrong/off/odd than it probably is.

Often true....

Originally Posted by skibum515

Why don't you just talk to him about it? Probably a perfectly good explanation for things-

This is also often true and good advice!

Originally Posted by Comairwife

I know it sounds cliche, but, I say that if it's bothering you, you need to investigate it. It's probably something innocent, but, if you let it simmer, it will bother you.

I agree with this one, too... So, in conclusion, I am stealing everyone else's answers... The thing is, if something seems weird to you, there's a good chance that your intuition is right... BUT, you should talk to him about it and decide if it still seems weird to you, or if talking about it made you feel better about what happened... (Or didn't happen....?)

[h0t4jel]

Thank you for EVERYONE's reponses. My intellectual side of me says its nothing. My gut sez soemthing else. But on the other hand he could have said SHE was a HE and I would never know any different. I textd him this am, his flight doesnt leave until noon, and he's usually up.
No reply, its been over an hour.

This is all odd. but if this was a guy, i would think nothing of it I am sure. So It is really hard and i dont want to say anything really, because I never have before doubted him and I feel if I say something, I will make it worse.

This just sucks all around.

He said he's call " sometime" today. Luckily tonight he is prolly flying into Oakland and he can see his mom.

*sigh*

I feel kinda sick, losin sleep.

[h0t4jel]

Originally Posted by katbuad

When you say that flight aware had him in at one time and he said another time how much time difference is there? 20 mins, an hour? I would ask him. 20 mins, maybe he is talking about gate time and unload passengers time. An hour, that might be something to be concerned about. You can always keep track and look at his paycheck. Money doesn't lie!

Well I said "what time did you get in" he said 10.
I am not sure if he meant the hotel or the gate. Flight aware says 9:03. Say he got a car to the hotel,+\- an hour, they eat something. 10-10:00 e called by 11:00.

Doesnt seem like much of a romantic evening to me

Still not sure!

I like your post though.

[ccbegay]

I would def. go with what you think, don't be too confrontational but casually bring it up in conversation. It might be better to bring it up when he's home, conversations over the phone you can never see/read body language etc. I hope it works out for you. Stay strong.

[skibum515]

Originally Posted by h0t4jel

Thank you for EVERYONE's reponses. My intellectual side of me says its nothing. My gut sez soemthing else. But on the other hand he could have said SHE was a HE and I would never know any different. I textd him this am, his flight doesnt leave until noon, and he's usually up.
No reply, its been over an hour.

This is all odd. but if this was a guy, i would think nothing of it I am sure. So It is really hard and i dont want to say anything really, because I never have before doubted him and I feel if I say something, I will make it worse.

This just sucks all around.

He said he's call " sometime" today. Luckily tonight he is prolly flying into Oakland and he can see his mom.

*sigh*

I feel kinda sick, losin sleep.

Don't freak too much over the text thing - I know text messages frequently will get hung up somewhere, and won't arrive for several hours - or even the next day! Also, DF has been in the shower when I've texted him and he won't look at his phone for a while so he won't notice it's there. Just give him a call you'll feel better