someone please tell me this gets better

[pilotwife3]

Originally Posted by Amanda

Be careful about 'losing yourself' and becoming needy. When I met Nick I was an outgoing, independent, free spirited person and there was a point in our relationship that I just lived for him. I stopped enjoying my hobbies, going out with friends, etc. Our relationship went to a 'bad place'. Thankfully I got a grip on things and realized that I can't live just for him and wait for his next visit or phone call. I started to be "me" again and our relationship got back on track.

This is sooo crucial. It's hard to do this, and you will falter, but in order to be in a good place for yourself this is vital. I'm going to generalize and say that our guys chose us because of our strength and independence. The last thing they need is to be worried about us 'not keeping it together' when they're gone. That doesn't mean that we don't have sharing partnerships with our guys and we have a right to miss them but in order for them to do their job they have to be able to trust us to do 'ours'.

[katierose0324]

After reading all of this, I felt a lot better and I wrote him an email telling him how proud I was of him that he was doing something that he loved, and how grateful I was that he was doing this for the sake of our relationship (he's based in another city, and literally the only thing holding him to St. Louis is me, he has no other reason to make a two legged commute), and reassured him that I support him.

Turns out he was a little down because I've been falling apart...I'm sure glad I talked to you guys because that is the LAST thing I would ever want him to feel.

Thanks!

[pilotwife3]

Originally Posted by katierose0324

After reading all of this, I felt a lot better and I wrote him an email telling him how proud I was of him that he was doing something that he loved, and how grateful I was that he was doing this for the sake of our relationship (he's based in another city, and literally the only thing holding him to St. Louis is me, he has no other reason to make a two legged commute), and reassured him that I support him.

Turns out he was a little down because I've been falling apart...I'm sure glad I talked to you guys because that is the LAST thing I would ever want him to feel.

Thanks!

You'll never know how much that meant to him. I'm proud of you!!

[FilleBelle]

Slightly off topic, but have you been over to the "While Raising Animals" forum to post pictures of your dog(s)?

[katbuad]

Originally Posted by pilotwife3

I'm going to generalize and say that our guys chose us because of our strength and independence. The last thing they need is to be worried about us 'not keeping it together' when they're gone. That doesn't mean that we don't have sharing partnerships with our guys and we have a right to miss them but in order for them to do their job they have to be able to trust us to do 'ours'.

Wonderful. Beautiful. Couldn't have said it better. Amen.

[katierose0324]

I have not posted pictures of my dogs, but thats a good idea!

[Kristie]

Originally Posted by katierose0324

I can't even hear him talk about it, because I'm so disgusted that some flight attendant gets to spend more time with him than I do.

actually, you've got that mixed up a bit... it's not the flight attendant that he spends all his time with in the cockpit.. it's the other pilot. it's the other pilot he'll spend 4-5 hrs a day or longer talking to because they're stuck in a tiny little cockpit for entire flights. so actually, he'll be hanging out with other pilots most of the time, not FA's.

just thought i'd help clear up that misconception.

keep in mind too that when he goes out at night on his layovers...he kind has to... you can't sit in a room every layover, you'd go nutz! so when he goes out, remember that he also worked a full day and deserves to enjoy a bit. he wouldn't expect you to stay home after working a full day either or at least he shouldn't. you'll get used to it... it takes some time because it's SO different from what everyone considers "normal" but it can work..it just takes both of you to give and take when needed.

[HeffsRah]

I agree with everything the other girls said, all very true and good advice...I'd just like to add because I think I had a particularly hard time in the beginning. It's so strange getting used to such a crazy schedule-- I never thought I would, but it's been a little over a year now that DF has had a line and we've grown to really enjoy it. Sure, there are still awful surprises that the company throws at you (or mother nature, can't control the weather) but you have to just keep a good attitude when that happens and move on. When I realized just how much he loves flying, how could I be anything but thrilled for him to have this job? It's such an exciting lifestyle-- think about it, who else gets there guy all to themself four days at a time?? Sure, there are the days that he has to leave for a few but you ALWAYS have something to look forward to because you make the most of the time that he is home. Having him away here and there keeps other fun things in your relationship too -- I love having really long talks on the phone at night before we go to bed when he's away, would I rather have him right next to me? Sure, but not if that meant him sacrificing his dream job.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, yes! It will get better-- you won't just get used to it, you'll learn to really love this life, because you love your pilot!!

Good luck in the meantime, hang in there!!

[Simmy90]

I'm not in this stage just yet, but I was actually wondering the same thing: What would happen when the time comes and if it would be that hard.

[elsja]

Oh this post comes at a perfect time for me. I have been thinking about this a lot lately. My BF is about to start longhaul soon- some time between Sept and Dec (annoying politics going on with all the qantas changes lately). I've been so spoiled having him home every day since I moved here. Even if he has an overnight he gets home early the next day. I like to think that the 1-2 weeks away will be easy for me because we had a long distance relationship for so long. 1-2 weeks is NOTHING compared to the 3 months we'd go without seeing each other. But now that I'm here, and now that we're together... I have a hard time even going home to visit for 3 weeks. I miss him Knowing he will be off doing fun things without me does bother me. I am quite lucky though in that I can do my job from anywhere since I work from home. So there may be times where I'll just HAVE to jump on one of his flights. Especially if he flies to LA. Then I can be with him AND visit my family all in one shot.

Edit: Just as I posted this BF got a call stating it could be 6-8 more weeks before they even DECIDE if they are moving forward with recruitment. Looks like he won't be starting in Sept afterall!

Elsja
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