Needing some advice on location :(

[BrynnElizabeth]

My boyfriend will be applying to the regionals in about 5 months and I am a little confused on the whole location thing with these airlines. Basically my dilemma is this. I want to stay within the state of Florida for two reasons. The first being that I want to start my Master's degree at one of the state universities (perferably the one in Jacksonville) in the fall and the second being that my parents are going through some health problems and I don't want to be out of driving distance from them. My bf, David says that you have to live at the hub you are assigned to when you start out. Is this true? Are their any airlines that will work with you on this?? He also says that he doesn't want to commute but I say that I don't want to keep moving around especially while I am working on a graduate degree (which would be impossible). I looked into online masters degrees but they do not exist for my major. In the background of all this I am also scared that we will move far away to some unknown city and to top it off I will be left alone a lot while he works. I just need some advice, any, on the whole location aspect of all this. We have been fighting constantly over all this and I am just at my wit's end. To top it off he is 5 months away from all this and he hasn't even looked into any airlines and what they offer. One that I thought looked good was ExpressJet but I don't know if that would work with living in Florida?? What are the benefits and drawbacks of commuting versus living in your hub?? I noticed on here that a lot of people don't seem to live in their hubs and I was wondering how that works?? Is there anybody especially in the Florida area that can give me some insight here?? I know this is a lot of questions but I am sooo stressed about this and I don't know who else to talk to that would know better than yall!! Many thanks!!

[Mrs.Alchemist]

Well, from what I know... You have to "live on base" for the training period and the reserve time, pretty much... Other than that you can commute. If he doesn't want to commute, that's another issue... Also, different airlines have different bases, so it's all going to depend on who hires him...

[Imachickadee75]

I would strongly suggest NOT moving to his base the first few years. He is going to have to go where they send him at first and often its not where you want to wind up. My DH was originally based in Palm Springs, CA and we live in OK. We spent almost a year with him commuting the day before and day after his four day trips because the commute was so long. But with a house we own, me in my Masters, the low cost of living in OK, and my support network, there was absolutely no reason to move to PSP since we had no intention of staying there. We did have to invest in a crash pad but for us it was the only way.

As a wife, I have to say, you need to be where you have support and comfort especially the first few years. Its rough at first having them gone and even minor household crisises seem to seem that much worse. Then layer on your responsibilities to your parents, and the stress that will bring. Geez, I see no reason for you to move to his base. True, you might not see much of each other that first year, and crash pads can be an additional financial burden, but its really important that you take the best care of you as possible.

Just my two cents...

Jackie

[pica5104]

hey chica!
As far as I understand it all He will have to live there during his training and obviously during the reserve time. Other than that they don't care as long as he makes it to work. He is based in Chicago and commutes from AZ. I will be staying in AZ for awhile. Both our families are here and yeah he hates the commute but he likes me being near our families. its been almost a year that James has been employed with Mesa and its been a tough one. I cherish the time we see each other. We got web cams and talk with those while on the phone. its neat! we email cards and talk at least once a day even if its just to say hi or leave a voicemail.
My advice would be to stay in Florida. finish school, be with your parents. You get use to the commuting. It will work for you! I promise!

[BAC]

If all airlines (especially regionals) required their pilots to have a residence within their base, they would have hardly any pilots. It's a personal choice of the pilot if they decide to move there or not. Many people choose to move because of convienance purposes. But a lot prefer to commute. Once enough senority is reached, commuting isn't really that bad a deal. But yes, until he has a commutable schedule, it will not be the best situation.

But don't start fighting yet! Especially when he doesn't even have any interviews scheduled!!

[Chi829]

ok,, here is my 2 cents. We live in Florida. Hubby is based in Atlanta. My family is here in Florida. You couldnt pay me enough to live in Atlanta (or whever he is based) he chose this career and when he did, it didnt mean that I had to give up my education, or a job that I love or moving away from my family. He know when he took this job and when he started pursuing it that he would have to commute. Im supposrtive, but we dont "chase metal". This way everyone is happy. He's happy cause he is doing his dream job and Im happy because I get to stay in FLorida near my family and stay at a job that I love. Granted he is on reserve now (as I type ) in ATL waiting in schdeuling to call him for a trip. He left yesterday, he will be there til Monday. If we lived there, yeah, sure he'd be at home with me more than likely but thats the price we pay so I get to stay in Florida. This reserve thing is only temporary,,,, and when he holds a line,, it would all be the same anyway, if we lived here or there,, make sense? I hope so. I say stick to your guns,,, Dont move,,, you deserve to be happy too!

[ASLhands]

I have been with my husband for 9 years and I remember him going to take his first demo flight when he was 17. I have been with him through all of this from the very beginning- starting at a young age- and we have had those same fights. He was hired by expressjet based in Houston and obviously spent his training time there. He came home every weekend, though. He sat reserve there as well. He didn't need to live there during reserve. He would look at flights in open time and call a day or two before his reserve date and pick up the flights. I think he had to stay in a hotel in Houston on our dime a total of 2 times. The point is, there are ways to make it work. We live in SF and are moving back down to southern california to be near family. It was fun living up here when I had him to share in the fun, but now I need to be near people I love. He understands that. He loves SF but agrees that moving close to family will be better for me. Especially when we have kids.

Commuting can be tiring and sometimes stressful on the pilot. Many of the pilots do it, though. It is worth it and works out just fine. My husband has never once had to call in a missed trip because of commuting and has always worked out just fine. Aside from the occasional crankiness, it is fine. Good luck. My advice is not to stress too much. I used to stress and we would get in terrible fights over this stuff and it all worked out just fine in the end. Good luck. It will all work out.

[FilleBelle]

Jackie saved me the trouble of typing a response by saying exactly what I was thinking in an extremely eloquent manner.

My bf works for Trans States, lives in Dallas, and is based in Richmond. Commuting adds a day to the beginning and a day to the end of each of his trips, but it's more than doable. I absolutely agree that you need all the support you can get. He's got his dream job, you should be able to have your family, friends, and school. Besides, as soon as he moves up to a major, he's going to be at a new base. Is he going to move every time?!? Wait until his job is more settled, THEN have the commute/don't commute discussion.

[Imachickadee75]

Another thought. When I said we invested in a crash pad, that wasn't very accurate. Instead, we found a guy on Craigslist who wanted to occationally rent out an extra room in his apartment for $20 per night. It worked out great, we made a wonderful friend (older gay guy-very funny story for another time), and DH only paid for the nights he HAD to be there. I know others have had luck with Craigslist also.

Jackie

[Amanda]

I've been with Nick since Oct 2002 and I didn't actually move to be with him near his base until last year. It sounds like you should stay put in Florida. He is the one with the flight benefits and he can fly to see you. Nick made the effort to fly back to PHX as much as he could. It let me know he was committed to the relationship. My job was stable and I wanted to live in AZ. It didn't make sense for me to follow Nick all around the country. The main reason it took 5 years for me to move back to the East coast is that we knew we wanted to get married and start a family so living near his base made sense since our families are close by. In addition, no that Nick works at CAL his bases won't change like they would when he was with a regional.

If there is no reason to move to be with your bf, don't move. If your relationship is 'meant to be', things will work out.