Needing some advice on location :(

[Eastbayk]

It's perfectly reasonable for you to live in Jacksonville and him to commute to a base. We live here and husband works for ExpressJet. He and two other captains he knows all commute to the Ontario, CA base from here. Commutes to Newark or Houston are even easier. It's really not that bad to add on a day or two for commuting and since they can jumpseat on ANY airline they can find the flights that work the best (currently Delta and Southwest have the best flights for commuting on from here). Usually Aaron caught the red-eye and arrived home early in the day so he didn't even lose that much time commuting.

During training, he had to stay in Houston for 6 weeks, but was able to come home every weekend. Once he started at base, he stayed with a friend when he had to be out in CA (usually about 3-4 days a week), then came home. It really wasn't a big deal at all.

I'm not sure how much hiring ExpressJet has been doing lately, but they have been absolutely wonderful to us in working with our medical leave needs and other issues.

Kim

[Regina]

I love expressjet; they are a wonderful airline. We have been there almost 10 years. I think kim is right about hiring right now..I think it has slowed down a lot right now due to a lot of reasons..oil prices, all the mergers going on, etc.

I think jackie had the right idea about finding a crash pad sort of thing for when he is on reserve. My husband had a crashpad when he was based in cle, but since we lived 2 hrs away; it was a waste and he dropped it quickly.

If you plan to have kids, depending on how many, I think commuting when you do have a family stinks. BUT, a bunch of people don't mind it. I would rather be at a base where he could do day or two day trips and not waste over half a day commuting back and forth. When we only had one or two kids, commuting wasn't so bad. And like everyone said, you still have your support network if you stay where you are. We now commute from tpa to iah; sometimes we have to go through mco, but it all depends. I think kim can give you a better idea of jacksonville's commute. My husband's nephew was hired in the fall and he was assigned iah as a base, but it all depends on staffing needs.

Good luck on your decision. For me, a couple that doesn't have any kids, just beginning the ups and downs of the airline, already accepted in grad school, the situation sounds like a pretty clear cut stay there where you are.

[ccbegay]

For us, well more the BF than myself, he despised commuting...we did the CLT-ORD commute for about 4 months, which led him to come down with walking pneumonia, not fun...in fact the main reason he did the switch to another airline is that the bases are a lot closer, and he was already awarded the base just a 30 min drive from our home...commuting is doable, it really just depends on the situation...

[Kristie]

Originally Posted by Eastbayk

I'm not sure how much hiring ExpressJet has been doing lately

As far as i know, they're not anymore and are asking for COLAs....if they don't get enough of those, they'll probably furlough

Hiring status isn't looking good this year so you might be pretty premature in the whole moving situation. I'd say stay where you are and concentrate on your career expectations...if he can get to a major airport, he's all set.

as far as i know, ASA, XJET and UAL have cancelled all classes and hiring for now.

[Bigsweetie]

My advice is to stay in FL if that is where you want to be. You're not married to each other and turning your life upside down and moving all over the place w/o a serious committment isn't wise, IMO. Other's may disagree, but I refused to move until I had been proposed to and we were planning our wedding.

As for the whole commuting thing... that's up to him. If he doesn't want to commute, he shouldn't (although it's never been a big deal for my DH). But he shouldn't expect you to drop everything and follow his dream either... you're not his wife.

If you two ever do get married, you'll need your own life, friends, career, etc. and it sounds like you're getting those things together in FL. He'll have travel benefits to come see you, but you may or may not have travel benefits to go see him.

When my DH and I were dating we had a similar issue. He wanted to take a job wherever he could cause he was just starting out. I didn't understand why he couldn't find a job near me. Now I know that those early years are tough, but i'm glad I didn't pick up and move around to be with him. It made our relationship stronger and it got me used to not seeing him all the time. And it was nice when he made the effort to see me (and vice versa).

Does your BF NEVER want to commute? Or just not now! That might be a good discussion to have, actually. If he never wants to commute, you might want to take a harder look at this relationship. If you're o.k. with possibly moving every year or couple of years, or putting your children through moves frequently, then o.k. If not, you might want to have a discussion.

[DaytonaBeachGal]

I wouldn't recommend commuting at the initial start of his job. It can be tough to near impossible on Reserve -- and that life is just so hard anyway that commuting adds even more challenges!

I guess the other girls probably filled you in that yes, if you are assigned a base you pretty much have to be within a 2 hour access to the assigned airport. When I worked as a flight attendant I was on Reserve 80% of my career there and drove a 1 hour and 45 minute commute. I was young, crazy and wouldn't suggest even driving that! But if you two are in a pinch and you can at least be within a 2 hour drive that could work just be ready to love your car! But on the postive side, when all my friends were trying to catch flights to their home city, I was allready on the road home.

My husband is based in Newark.We live in Daytona Beach and he commutes out of Orlando. He never complains about the commute though. We just really like our life here and its worth it. We could never live like we do in Jersey and don't care for it there.

[madlibs]

I'll go ahead and add the other side of this. I'm in no way disagreeing with anyone that has posted, just presenting another opinion. Commuting just doesn't work for us. I asked dh before we were married that we always live in base. I can pretty much be content where ever I'm living as long as I know I'm seeing my husband the most. The job already entails being gone plenty without adding extra days to the beginning and end of a trip. He's holding around 15 days off a month right now, and that's a pretty nice thing. But, it's still half a month away from me, every month of the year. He's missing half of everything. 6 months. No husband. Yuck. Once we have kids the odds are good that he'll miss a lot of their "firsts." We'd like to increase the odds of him being there for important things as much as we possibly can. Besides, it's neat to live in different parts of the country that I never thought about living in. Neat to be in different cultures. Having travel benefits makes it easy for me to go back home to see family whenever the mood strikes me. Not many people are able to have lives like we have. You just have to find what works for you guys. If commuting does, great! Nothing wrong with that at all. I just thought I'd present my views on this since they didn't seem to follow any previous posters.

[BrynnElizabeth]

Thank you everyone for all the great advice and different perspectives. Me and him are just gonna have to sit down and do some serious thinking ahead!! Again many thanks!