Taking a break

[BAC]

Originally Posted by guessharmony

At this point, he doesn't want me to deal with him being gone for a long period of time, since he doesn't think it is fair to me.

See, that translates to me: "I don't want to have to deal with having a commitment while I am gone."

He should let you make that decision about him being gone. Not the other way around. If you are willing to deal with him being gone then I don't see a problem. (Unless he wants an excuse to get out)

I don't mean to sound mean or be too persistant.. I'm just not sure if you are reading between the lines on this one and I don't think you deserve to be hurt again.

Also... on a more personal note, I have been in a situation where I wanted something differnent than the other person I was dating and it led to so much disapointment and hurt that I hate to see anyone else have to go through it.

[spotty4]

I am TOTALLY w/ Becky on this. YOU should be making the decision for what's fair to yourself, not him. He can express his concern and what not about the future of the relationship and the dynamic that may take shape while apart, but only YOU can decide what is fair for you. To me, his expression and word choice is just a sugar-coated way out.

If he REALLY wanted to make the relationship work, despite any distance, he would never suggest a break up out of fairness. He would do whatever he could to make damn sure the relationship stayed in tact. You really gotta read that book I suggested several entries back.

I still see a big red flag stiff in the wind. Be careful ...

[Kristie]

Originally Posted by guessharmony

Sorry I haven't replied in a while. It's been really busy.
So, I finally talked to him about it. He explained it all to me, but I was so tired/confused, I don't really remember. Something about the class change on his license. He cannot fly the airline for 6 months after being put on leave, but because corporate/private are on different regulations, he can fly for them. He showed me his license, paperwork, etc., so it really is legit. I even flew with him the other day and talked to his usual co-pilot. (PS I got to meet Alton Brown! - he's the guy on Food Network -"Good Eats" - if anyone watches)
But as far as the relationship goes, he has taken a job in Florida for a few months, but isn't moving (thank GOD!), so everything has worked out pretty much ok.
Thanks so everyone for all the advice etc. It is much appreciated! I'm so glad everything got cleared up

the class change on his license? what did he go from/to? are you talking class change on his medical license or flying license?

Also, if he's taken a job in florida.. how is he getting there? most corporate airlines are not CASS friendly. I would have thought that he would have no choice but to move....

[guessharmony]

You know.. I'm really not sure. Like I said, it was late and I was confused. lol But I trust him completely, because I have flown with him and have seen everything and talked to people. I don't know why I doubted it all in the first place. But it's only going to be a temporary job, so they are putting him up in a hotel/condo or something. He will be gone for a few weeks at a time, then come back here with a week or two off... and that will continue until whenever he decides it's time for it to be over.

[Kristie]

so after 2 months of dating..you trust him completely? wow...that's really good - for him. i didn't start trusting my boyfriend until what, 6 months or more had passed? i guess as long as you trust him....then that's all there is...

but honestly, as a Delta wife, i don't trust he's telling the truth because Delta's a big company...they would have clauses and/or regulations for things like "flying on the side" (ie: moonlighting), especially if the company he's currently flying for is paying him while he's on medical leave AND esp if he's being PAID by Delta during that medical leave...

almost every airline out there prohibits their pilots from flying for anyone while working for their company....so either he's a Delta pilot that is taking the company for a ride and breaking major company rules or he's not a Delta pilot at all...My bet is that he's not a Delta pilot at all....you've known him for all of 2 months while he's been on this "said" leave...have you seen his Delta id or anything that even pertains to Delta?

plus, someone that works for Delta full time wouldn't just up and move from his base/home for a "temporary" corporate airline job... that also just doesn't make sense (common sense).

If there's anything i can't stand.. it's posers...and i've seen a lot of "major airline" posers in the last few years...even on this site, we've helped girls figure out if their new boyfriends were posers and/or married pilots.

I still see too many red flags but if you don't want to listen to them, good luck to you.

[Bigsweetie]

Yea, I asked my DH about the whole "class" thing and he agrees with everyone else. It's BS. He's either doing it 'under the table' which could get his license pulled or he lied about being on leave from Delta. It's that simple.

I'm sure he IS a pilot, just not on leave from Delta or he's "double dipping" which could get him in SERIOUS trouble including fines, etc.

Good luck!!

ETA: I'd still have Kristie's DH check him out at Delta... unless you're worried about him getting caught!

[Kristie]

I double checked with doug last night and he said:

Any commercial flying time counts against your weekly, monthly and maximum annual flying allowances.

He said Delta is VERY anal about that....

he also said:

If you're ineligible for flying as an FO, there's about a 100% chance that you're ineligible for any other type of commercial flying.

The class DOES NOT change on a license, only the privledges.

If you don't want to get hurt guessharmony....i would start doing some more research, or PM me his full name an Doug can check the rosters and verify that he is, in fact, employed by Delta.

[guessharmony]

No, he is not getting paid by Delta for this leave.
Honestly, I do trust him, I have seen everything I need to see. I really do with that everyone would stop being so skeptical. I do appreciate all the advice, but I've got it figured out now. He has explained it me, it all makes sense, I just can't explain it. So, thank you all, and I do appreciate it.

[spotty4]

Ok, as you wish. I'll back off. Just be careful and don't let yourself it tangled up in his web. We're extending our skepticism out of experience and care.

Originally Posted by guessharmony

(PS I got to meet Alton Brown! - he's the guy on Food Network -"Good Eats" - if anyone watches)

Soooooooooooo, I gotta hear about this Alton Brown encounter! Dish! We love the Food Network, especially Alton Brown. We're always watch Iron Chef America and Good Eats and his other show, where he rides across the states on his motor cycle. Is he just as goofy and quirky in person as he is on TV?

[guessharmony]

It was definitely pretty cool. I've only seen his show a few times, but I was kinda star-struck. He was taking flying lessons at a local airport here, and he invited us to one of his shows. I'm not a huge food person (meaning= I cannot cook worth a damn), but it was definitely a great experience. He is pretty quirky though, but not how I thought he would be.