Today sucks

[the_woman_99]

Yesterday was another weird day of talking with him. He finished his interview and then called and I had to play 20 questions with him to get him to talk about it. What is weird is that once I got him started he had no problems talking about everything that happened. Ugh! He makes me beat it out of him. Then he had his little PMS moment after that where he just got that 'tone' in his voice. I told him that I wasn't going to fight with him. If he wanted to fight on Monday I would have but not yesterday. I tried to talk to him about other things but he still had that 'tone' in his voice. GRRRRR I finally told him that if he didn't want to change his tone of voice then we can hang up the phone because I thought that it was so dumb. He was acting like a child. He must of thought better of not talking because then he FINALLY changed his tone and started talking like a normal person.
Some days I am not sure who I am going to talk to. My SO or Satan
Oh well I love him and figure that this time apart will make us so much stronger in the long run. The little disagreements when we lived together seem so small now. It is funny about some of the stuff we used to get on each other about.
I just have to remember to breathe and relax!

[BAC]

First off, I'm sorry you are going through something so difficult. It must be so hard to go so long without seeing your boyfriend.. especially if you lived with him. Did you see him every night?

Where is your boyfriend currently working that he hates so much? How long ago did he start? Sometimes the first few months (even year) at certain airlines are so difficult but they eventually get better. Unless there are other circumstances of course.

Originally Posted by Kristie

This time apart that you have is going to make you a much stronger person...

I agree with that. Going through stuff like this will make you realize that you can handle anything. Its good that you are keeping busy, I know I would have to as well!

But like Devin said, make sure you are taking care of yourself too. I take care of myself by going to the gym and seeing friends/family. I also indulge myself by pigging out on Pork Lo Mein or watching a movie to relax.

When you know you are doing all you can in the current situation with your boyfriend, you need to let him do whatever it is that he is going to do and take care of yourself. ...... does that makes any sense at all to you?

Hang in there and feel free to vent with us all you want! We are here!

**Edit.. I just read your 11:15 post...

If he is acting like that ever again with you.. call him out on it. Say something about how hard you are trying to make everything work and him acting like that hurts. He should stop right away and realize it isn't helping.

[the_woman_99]

When he lived in Utah we saw each other every night before we started living together which we did after 5 months of dating I think. Then we were together all the time after that. So with us not seeing each other for this long it has certainly taken it's toll on me. I feel like for the most part I don't compain to him all the time but on the chance that I do he takes that and says that when we talk it is all we talk about. I know that isn't true at all. It just makes me mad sometimes when he focuses on one thing and beats it to death to make me look like the fool or what not.
He said yesterday that since he has left I have been nothing but un happy. Again not true. Does us being separated make me happy??? No it doesn't but I also know that it is temporary. I asked him what HE thought I could be doing differently in this situation. He said that he didn't want to talk about it anymore What am I supposed to do with that? I ask him what he thinks I could be doing differently and he wants to change the subject...WTF! I hate it when he does that.
He has worked for his current company for over a year. He just transfered to CVG base. He doesn't mind the company. I just think that he is sick of the crap that goes on there all the time.
I really am trying to stay positive about the whole thing. I know that this is only temporary. It just makes it hard to go from seeing each other all of the time to seeing each other once every couple of months if that. I am trying to work all I can to save up everything and it is something to keep me occupied as well so that I don't go crazy Is there something else I should be doing? He seems to think so but he won't tell me what that is. I am open to suggestions.
I am just being supportive the only way I know how

[the_woman_99]

If he is acting like that ever again with you.. call him out on it. Say something about how hard you are trying to make everything work and him acting like that hurts. He should stop right away and realize it isn't helping.[/quote]



When he does start acting like that I do tell him that and I let him know that he says things that hurt and when he is like that he just comes back at me and tells me everything I say to him makes him feel guilty. I feel like that is his problem. He takes what I am saying and turns it around to make it look like I want him to feel guilty. When he does that I always tell him that I didn't say it to make him feel guilty but I said it because it was what I was feeling or what not. He just seems to be taking everything lately and turns it into some kind of competition. I know that he is stressed with finding a new job and everything so I am REALLY trying to just be patient and see it through, but when he takes out his frustrations on me it just seems a little unfair

[BAC]

It is pretty unfair for him to be acting like this. It sounds like he really doesn't know how to handle his stress at the moment and is somewhat taking it out on you... When you know you are doing what you can and ask him what you can do to make him feel better, then you don't have to take it. You're both stressed but nobody needs to make the other person feel guilty over something that is out of their hands.

[the_woman_99]

I agree that we are both stressed but I honestly feel like I am doing what I can to work it out. I never blame him for anything but lately I feel like he is blaming me for a lot of different things.
I agree that he might not really know how to deal with all of the stress. I sometimes feel like he is brushing all of his stress onto me and expects me to sort it all out somehow.
Ugh! I just can't wait until he hears from this job one way or the other so that we can figure things out. I just get sad sometimes when he takes his bad moods out on me. When I bring it to his attention he sometimes realizes what he is doing and apologizes for it. I just get tired sometimes I guess when I feel like I am doing everything I can to be supportive of him and feel like he isn't very supportive of me over here. I am not sure if that makes sense or not.
Oh well I know that we will get passed it

[guessharmony]

I know exactly how you feel. I had the problem the other day when my BF told me he is leaving for 3 weeks. I just cried and cried, and then he missed our first anniversary! He gets upset when I cry, and it hurts both of us. Just keep your head up, and I'm sure it will all be ok (as I tell myself the same thing). I guess that's why we are all here, huh?

[felly]

Originally Posted by guessharmony

I know exactly how you feel. I had the problem the other day when my BF told me he is leaving for 3 weeks. I just cried and cried, and then he missed our first anniversary! He gets upset when I cry, and it hurts both of us. Just keep your head up, and I'm sure it will all be ok (as I tell myself the same thing). I guess that's why we are all here, huh?

yeah...same here. the boy went off to training. we were already living apart, but he really missed our first anniversary. it hurt then, but i came to realize that that will make number 2 that much more special. why? because i have faith we're going to make it to number 2.

[the_woman_99]

LOL.
I am sure that you will make it to #2.
I honestly don't think that we will be together when our first year hits but I am just telling myself that it will be fine. We have plans to be together soon so all of this time away from each other is only temporary. I also refuse to fight anymore. I just won't. Life is too short to spend if fighting over stupid things. So when he starts to get into something I just tell him that I won't fight with him anymore unless it is something worth fighting about. It has helped a ton so far.
I am crossing my fingers

[felly]

yay for being positive! you're my hero.