Am I crazy???

[the_woman_99]

Okay so SO moved away the end of July. We have seen each other once since then. Needless to say it hasn't been easy or fun at all. I am trying to make the best of my situation. He doesn't work for an airline so I don't have flight benefits to go see him as often as I would like.
Okay that was a little bakground for everyone. Now here is the question on wether or not I am crazy...I work a full time job right now at a credit union where I am a manager. I also work at a local theater at night that does plays (mostly musicals), I work there about 3 nights a week. I just picked up my third job where I work at an event center where all of our basketball games are held (Utah Jazz). I will work there as often as they have events.
Yeah so needless to say I am very busy with all of my various jobs right now. I feel like I need to stay busy to stay sane while me and SO can't be together. I hate sitting home at night. I feel so out of place there. Me and SO plan on living together as soon as we can but right now it isn't looking like that won't happen until April. Longer then I want but the weather needs to be decent in order to drive to PA which is looking like where he might locate if all goes well. We should know by this time next week.
Anyways I worked my first night at my 3rd job last night. I am so tired today. I can barely keep my eyes open. I stood for 4hrs last night at this job. I just have to keep reminding myself that I asked for this and that I just need to get used to it. The extra money will be great with Christmas just around the corner and I could use the extra money for relocation as well when the time comes.
BUT am I crazy for doing it....

SO doesn't want me working the 3rd job. I think that he is scared that other guys might hit on me. I have told him that I am not looking at all and that I love only him and I am working this 3rd job for us. When I am working it keeps my mind off of our situation. He told me today that he is just waiting to say 'I told you so'. It hurts to hear him say that because I need his support right now with working so much. Ugh I just hope that this wasn't a mistake

Any advice???

[SeatClutcher]

I think if you like to work, you like to work.

But, I also think if you feel you have to be busy 24/7 because you can't just hang out by yourself for a while, that you might want to drop a job and learn how.

[felly]

Originally Posted by SeatClutcher

But, I also think if you feel you have to be busy 24/7 because you can't just hang out by yourself for a while, that you might want to drop a job and learn how.

i agree! what happens when/if he gets hired on for an airline or something that leaves him on trips for an extended period of time? you've got to learn to be okay while he's away and be okay with being alone. staying that busy may drive you up the wall and make it difficult to learn to wind down when SO just wants to sit at home and watch tv.

you're not crazy, you're just lonely. i completely understand.

[the_woman_99]

He is looking into flying private jets and that would put him out on trips 4 days at a time or what not. That I think that I could handle because I know that in 'X' amount of days he will be home. But right now we aren't really sure when we will see each other again and I think that that is a big part of what is driving me crazy!
I am okay with being alone for the most part. I just feel like when I am sitting there at home doing NOTHING I go crazy because my mind starts to wander. I feel like right now while we are seperated I would rather be away from the house then sit there and watch tv waiting for his call or what not. Plus there is the bonus of the extra money which is always great to have.
I know that with taking up a 3rd job I run the risk of being burnt out but I honestly don't know what else to do. And the money is going to help in hopefully relocating me next year.
I feel like because I took on this 3rd job I made a comittment to them and myself to stay through the basketball season which would be around April. My SO thinks that once he settles down (wherever that is) that if I don't come right away then I am the one keeping us apart. Ugh! Because I will be driving my car to relocate the weather is a factor. He seems to think that we can just go 'around' the weather and it shouldn't be a problem. I wish that he could understand how bad I want us to be together again. I just have to be responsible about everything.

[felly]

Originally Posted by the_woman_99

He is looking into flying private jets and that would put him out on trips 4 days at a time or what not. That I think that I could handle because I know that in 'X' amount of days he will be home. But right now we aren't really sure when we will see each other again and I think that that is a big part of what is driving me crazy!

I am okay with being alone for the most part. I just feel like when I am sitting there at home doing NOTHING I go crazy because my mind starts to wander.

i am pretty sure i have said those EXACT words if not just a few weeks ago. definitely, knowing when you'll see them again helps. it always hurt my heart when i had no idea when i would see my FO again.

also, there's nothing wrong with being responsible. you feel strongly about this and have obviously thought it through. stick to your guns! you remind me a lot of myself in that i make decisions but them second guess and fret. i think 3 jobs is fine as long as you're staying healthy physically and mentally. but remember, if it gets to be too much it is not written anywhere that you have to stay.

more power to you sister. it sounds like you're just trying to do what you feel is best for your future situation. i am sure deep down your SO appreciates your concern over your future. i bet he just misses you as much as you miss him.

[devin]

Originally Posted by the_woman_99

I feel like because I took on this 3rd job I made a comittment to them and myself to stay through the basketball season which would be around April. My SO thinks that once he settles down (wherever that is) that if I don't come right away then I am the one keeping us apart. Ugh! Because I will be driving my car to relocate the weather is a factor. He seems to think that we can just go 'around' the weather and it shouldn't be a problem.

I'm completely sure he said that because he misses you just as much as you miss him --- but that being said, he needs to support you in YOUR dreams and wants just as much as you've supported him. I don't really know anything about your background, but no one really wants to feel like they're at somebody else's beck and call, and the way he put it makes it sound like he expects you to be -- "woman, I'm ready, come here now!" Your moving needs to happen when it works for both of you, not just one of you! If you want to do what you're doing, and it's worth it to you to see it through, then go for it! In the big scheme of things/long run, a few months won't matter, and you'll feel better about yourself looking back.

[ccbegay]

Hey there...I totally understand how you like to keep busy to kill the time away from SO's...but there was a point that I was going to school full time and working a full time job, and actually had a crazy notion of getting a part time job...yeah, for me that was crazy...right now i'm still going to school full time, and just working Friday-Sunday, yes, I hate the down time, but I love the time for just 'me'...I've adjusted to doing things alone...but you're right, the extra job sure does put some $$$ signs in the bank! keep healthy and stay sane...good luck!