It is over and I am very sad

[sfblue]

Thanks Mum and ccbegay

Talking about fish in the sea, a big fear of me is that I will not meet anyone better than this pilot. I made this list 2 years ago.

Confident
Share same relationship goals (ie. long term --> marriage)
Gentleman (open doors, pay during early dating)
Supportive of me
Taller than 5'10
Fit and atheltic
Close to his family
Into me
Make me laugh
Kind to other people (waiters, whoever)
Opimistic
Financially responsible
Like outdoors
Adventurous
Neat and organized
Good looking
Like art and music
Affectionate
Cultured
Travelled
Interested in other culture and the world
Make responsible good living
Passionate
Romantic
Knows who he is and what he wants
Not against to start a family (I am not sure myself, but I donot want to rule it out)
Ideally a pilot (i think I am going to cross this one out of my list. I have dated 4 pilots in the past 2.5 years, none of them worked out)
Ideally cook well
Ideally have a motorcycle
Ideally speak a foreign language (this pilot speaks Spanish and French)

The pilot meets almost all my list. Now I see that I missed a major one: emotionally available and relatively happy with his job and life. I understand if someone is in 20's or even early 30's, but late 30's/early 40's, I feel that one has to be more stable.

Now that I look at my list again, there maybe too many items. I met a lot of men, and I have been too picky maybe. After so many 1st dates, I finally thought I met someone really fits the bill and with chemistry...

[SeatClutcher]

I think a list might make it harder for you rather than help you.

You know...because it makes it difficult for you to see a person as a person instead of as a checklist of ideal qualities.

The pilot you were with might have made the list, and he might have had all those things you like, but...but you two still weren't right for each other. Chuck the list! If you like the person, you like the person. Obviously there are qualities we all prefer, but that list! Gads, girl! It's a little excessive, no?

[sfblue]

The pilot you were with might have made the list, and he might have had all those things you like, but...but you two still weren't right for each other. Chuck the list! If you like the person, you like the person. Obviously there are qualities we all prefer, but that list! Gads, girl! It's a little excessive, no?

It might be a little excessive, I admit. I never had a list until 2 years ago as I always go with 1st sight and chemstry. If I like the guy, then I go out with him. I met my ex husband the day I graduated college.

When I did not have that list, I went out a lot, met a lot of guys, dated around, but it got me nowhere. I was tired not meeting quality guys. Thus the list. Since I made the list, I have been meeting more quality guys as I become more disconcerning. I still put chemistry 1st though.

I shall just trim down my list for sure. I am narrowing my selection too much by that list. Gosh, look at it, how many guy are there who are single, fit, taller than 5'10, romantic, and is a pilot. So I am cross "pilot" out of my list. I can probablt cross a few others.

[SeatClutcher]

Originally Posted by sfblue

It might be a little excessive, I admit. I never had a list until 2 years ago as I always go with 1st sight and chemstry. If I like the guy, then I go out with him. I met my ex husband the day I graduated college.

When I did not have that list, I went out a lot, met a lot of guys, dated around, but it got me nowhere. I was tired not meeting quality guys. Thus the list. Since I made the list, I have been meeting more quality guys as I become more disconcerning. I still put chemistry 1st though.

I shall just trim down my list for sure. I am narrowing my selection too much by that list. Gosh, look at it, how many guy are there who are single, fit, taller than 5'10, romantic, and is a pilot. So I am cross "pilot" out of my list. I can probablt cross a few others.

It could be, too, that you started meeting more quality guys because when you wrote the list, you were finally really thinking about traits that are important to you. Thus, you knew more what you were looking for and what you weren't.

But now that you know, do you really need the list? I mean, will you forget that you want someone good-looking, trim, athletic, and over 5'10"?? Much of what's on there, you just KNOW, now, because you thought about it. Loosen it up a little. Have some fun!

[ASLhands]

I know this is so cliche, but I believe that everything happens for a reason. You and your pilot broke up and it is hard, but maybe the next guy you meet will be the most amazing man you've ever met and he will think you are the most amazing woman he has ever met.

On that note, I have to agree with seatclutcher. It works so much better to meet someone and go with your intuition. What if you meet a man and he is great and you guys just click but he is 5'8" and when you see his car it is a mess? Would you rule him out for those slight flaws? It is good to know what you want, but use it as a flexiblie guideline and not the ridgid rules.

Keep up your positive attitude and feel better. Things will start looking up for you really soon!

[mum]

Originally Posted by sfblue

I shall just trim down my list for sure. I am narrowing my selection too much by that list. Gosh, look at it, how many guy are there who are single, fit, taller than 5'10, romantic, and is a pilot. So I am cross "pilot" out of my list. I can probablt cross a few others.

My single son the pilot is 6'2, into serious body building, is a romantic, has a motorcycle (or 2?), loves the outdoors, loves music (depending on what you call music. he plays guitar), is a great cook on the grill and the microwave, and is overly confident! He's not quite 30, so he's still feral and needs to be house trained a bit. Want his number? I knew if I hung out at this site, I could get him married and get some grandchildren!

[SeatClutcher]

Originally Posted by mum

My single son the pilot is 6'2, into serious body building, is a romantic, has a motorcycle (or 2?), loves the outdoors, loves music (depending on what you call music. he plays guitar), is a great cook on the grill and the microwave, and is overly confident! He's not quite 30, so he's still feral and needs to be house trained a bit. Want his number? I knew if I hung out at this site, I could get him married and get some grandchildren!

Uh-oh! The son sounds great, but the mum sounds scary!!

[sfblue]

Quote:
Originally Posted by mum
My single son the pilot is 6'2, into serious body building, is a romantic, has a motorcycle (or 2?), loves the outdoors, loves music (depending on what you call music. he plays guitar), is a great cook on the grill and the microwave, and is overly confident! He's not quite 30, so he's still feral and needs to be house trained a bit. Want his number? I knew if I hung out at this site, I could get him married and get some grandchildren!


Uh-oh! The son sounds great, but the mum sounds scary!!

Ok, you guys made me laugh, actually laughing out lound. Thank you!

Well, did I say chemistry 1st. Without chemistry, my list is just a check list and it is useless.

On that note, I have to agree with seatclutcher. It works so much better to meet someone and go with your intuition. What if you meet a man and he is great and you guys just click but he is 5'8" and when you see his car it is a mess? Would you rule him out for those slight flaws? It is good to know what you want, but use it as a flexiblie guideline and not the ridgid rules.

Agreed. In fact, one of the pilot I dated last year was only 5'8, and he is bald (I did not put that in my list, but I never dated anyone who is bald until then). But a mess, no, thanks. I have to rule out someone for messy part as that is important to me.

So here you go, I will narrow down to some must haves and have the rest of list just hanging.

Just to be sure, when I talk about the list. it is not that I check my list to see often, I only check the list when things are getting heat up.

I hope the next person I get involved will be the ONE.

Today I met a farmer at farmers' market. He invited me to visit him in his farmer. Gosh, I am a city girl. But he is very cute and charming, so I may have to give it a try....

Feeling much better, Thanks a lot! I am sure I will be having ups and downs soon though.

[SeatClutcher]

Originally Posted by sfblue

Ok, you guys made me laugh, actually laughing out lound. Thank you!

Well, did I say chemistry 1st. Without chemistry, my list is just a check list and it is useless.



Agreed. In fact, one of the pilot I dated last year was only 5'8, and he is bald (I did not put that in my list, but I never dated anyone who is bald until then). But a mess, no, thanks. I have to rule out someone for messy part as that is important to me.

So here you go, I will narrow down to some must haves and have the rest of list just hanging.

Just to be sure, when I talk about the list. it is not that I check my list to see often, I only check the list when things are getting heat up.

I hope the next person I get involved will be the ONE.

Today I met a farmer at farmers' market. He invited me to visit him in his farmer. Gosh, I am a city girl. But he is very cute and charming, so I may have to give it a try....

Feeling much better, Thanks a lot! I am sure I will be having ups and downs soon though.

If you're consciously LOOKING for someone, or WAITING for the next guy to be the one, it's probably not going to happen.

Stop looking, live your life, and it'll just happen.

[laralen02]

Originally Posted by SeatClutcher

If you're consciously LOOKING for someone, or WAITING for the next guy to be the one, it's probably not going to happen.

Stop looking, live your life, and it'll just happen.

What she said (not that I'm the greatest person to give relationship advice right now). Why do you want to be with a pilot specifically? Does it matter what they do? To me it matters that they're HAPPY with what they do, and have goals for the future.