How did you *know* numero DOS!

[laralen02]

How did you married folks know that your DH was "the one"? Was there a specific moment? Did you ever have your doubts? Or did you just know right away?

[roz]

He liked my motorcylce. That was it. And his smile and beautiful blue eyes.

[Imachickadee75]

For us, I was the one who held out. Jarred said that he loved me first and I freaked out. It was not in my plans by any stretch of the imagination. But we'd known each other for about a month or so and he moved me home from college for the summer. He put up with all my crap -literally and figurtively with his usual easy going way. I was amazed. On the way up there I looked at his profile, and song by Lari White came on "That's How You Know" -When your heart makes a sound like rolling thunder, and your arms are wrapped around an angel from above, and the earth begins to shake cause it can feel the love you make, that's how you know when you're in love.

That is when I knew. It scared the crap out of me, and I waited a day or so to tell him -maybe that's when I heard the song, but it was true for me.

I know you've been struggling with the loves in your life and I have to wonder if you aren't trying too hard to make a decision and that is blocking you. Sometimes love is not something you can quantify, wrap up in a neat little package or even map out on a pros and cons decision board. In my case it just smacked me in the face.

Thinking of you....

Jackie

[Kristie]

I dunno, i just knew....it's kinda like when something just clicks and tells you "this one is different"....from first talking to him on the internet to talking to him on the phone my intuition told me he was worth my initial time and effort (to get to know more *about* him)... when we finally met in person 6 months later, it was really REALLY weird but it was already too late (haha)...we still connected like i've never connected with anyone before (he was only in town for a week and we both got really depressed when he had to leave) and i knew then that he was definitely the guy that was worth my time and effort to keep....the struggles themselves were harrowing...considering he was black, i had to fight my parents for 4 years and I had to come to terms with being "disowned"....i had to really change my inner core, my way of thinking and doing things to keep up with him (esp with his aviation career moving up the ladder) but during those horrid horrid times, i still asked myself if he was worth it and everytime, after thinking long and hard, i determined that yes, he was worth every bit of sweat & tears even if it meant that i'd never talk to my mom and dad again (ignorance is not always blissful)...

if you think he's worth every bit of time, energy, patience, faithfulness etc etc....for as long as you live...then he's the one IMO. if you have ANY doubts about whether he's "worthy", then he's not the guy.

it's kinda like saying you'd take a bullet for them anytime, anywhere, anyhow.. no matter the circumstance..you'd take that bullet over and over and over again with a smile on your face. if he's your true soulmate, he'll take a bullet for you too.

Finding out i was in love with doug, scared the crap out of me too... and hearing him say it first, seeing the poem he wrote me (i still have it stashed away) scared me even more.. haha

[katherine2473]

I like this thread, how we all came to end up in the situations we're in! I just knew that all the crap we were wading through (and still wading through) was worth it. It just felt - right- even when objectively it was very wrong, if that makes sense? I realised that all the many downsides of our life together were better than having it easy with anyone else.
I'm not sure it helps to analyse it too much though. 'Knowing' suggests something clicking in your head. For me, it was more instinctive - something elemental struggling against what my head was telling me!
But frankly it doesn't make the blindest bit of difference how we all 'knew'! I wonder if you're trying to convince yourself one way or another of what you're currently feeling? Instincts are pretty powerful and if something doesn't feel right (whatever you might 'know') then it probably isn't.
Take care.
Katherine

[Londoner]

Like many women on his board, my husband and I met online, and the connection was pretty immediate. After about a week of emailing, msn and constant phone calls, I knew he was very special, and very soon after that I realised I just couldn't cope without him. There was something about the way he talked, the things we talked about - I don't know, it was just obvious! And when we met in person (a month later) you couldn't prise us apart.

I echo other people's advice - if you're trying to convince yourself of something, it's often the wrong thing. Trust your instincts, don't over analyse everything.

All the best,

Toryx

[UKcats06]

We met in November and I was at his dorm every weekend until the following spring, and I went to visit him the weekend before spring break. I left and I was kind of upset and when I pulled away from his dorm I like burst into tears. I was thinking what the hell is wrong with me?! But then I realised I was just so sad to leave him! We had a ton of people telling us that we didn't *really* love each other and we were too young. I had several conversations with my mom about how I should break up with him and come home. I knew he was the one I wanted to be with though.

I'm pretty sure he had the same conversations with his parents, too, especially since I was sitting right there when he had some of them on the phone with them. So then he went home for spring break (lousville, ky) and I went home (cincinnati) and then about half way through the week he told his parents he was going to be with me, so I went to get him and he spent the rest of the week with my family.

He had to break it to them because they made him sign a contract saying he would break up with me and change his major from aviation to business, that was the only way they would let him come back to school after christmas break. So they didn't like aviation or me, and how he has both! Now they are "so happy he's getting his rating and doing waht he wants" like they had ANYTHING to do with it, more to hinder it than anything. But thats another thread, another day! I could have an entire blog about the crazy things they do! I should note that now we get along with them, and that has nothing to do with the fact that they have a house in Cancun...

[christykay]

Unfortunately I am only echoing the advice that has already been given on this thread...How did you know...I just did.
After 17 years I still get the butterflies when he calls. When he pulls into the driveway and I see him. When he kisses me.

Love isn't complicated it is more of a feeling really. Either you feel love and loved or you don't. I heard once that you can't control who you fall in love with. IMO I think that there is truth in that. I have absolutely married my best friend and I just pray that my own children find the love and happiness that their Dad and I share.

Trust your instincts and follow your heart.

[PGTIPS]

Hi there,

I met my husband online and, instantly clicked with him. I spoke to him for about 3 months, and ended up talking on the phone for hours most days. I actually knew before I met him that he was a very special person and fell for him.

When we did finally meet, it was amazing, I'd never felt such a connection with anyone before.
Suddenly, the words 'Soul-mate and 'Love of my life' were relevant and made sense.

x

[SeatClutcher]

Probably after reading a few of his letters. We'd been fast and comfortable friends in HS before dating (& breaking up a month later), and after he moved, we wrote letters.

He's a great letter writer. I've always loved the way he thinks.

There was something about him that drew me to him right away (he was the new guy, and I slipped secret admirer notes in his locker), and it's never let go.