Boyfriend in Sweden for 7-8 weeks

[Sophie]

Aaaah Hi Guys

I just got to work and read all of your lovely messages!!

Skyrocket - We have been together for 18 months and lived together for 6. I am 32, he is 30, we both know what we want - each other and a life together.

We had such a long talk last night and I told him all I need from him is some appreciation of what I am going through as well. All the focus is on him and his feelings and his success and his achievements. Which is fine (and important and I am SO proud of him), but there are 2 of us going through this process, and sometimes I think people forget that!!

I guess keeping the lines of communication open is so important.

Thanks for all your words of support, it really means a lot to me.

[katherine2473]

Hey Sophie,
As another Londoner (there are quite a few of us here now!), keep your chin up! London's a fab place to live - loads of free galleries & museums, tickets at the National for £10, dance classes, outdoor lidos, guided walks for £6 (not just for tourists!), tons of cheap things to keep you occupied whilst he's away - just get a copy of Time Out! Seriously - doing something for yourself, whatever that is, whilst he's gone is essential. Otherwise you get sucked into his life 100% and, as you said, there are two of you in the relationship. Yes, he needs to appreciate that it's not all about him, and let you know he appreciates it. But concentrate on yourself first or you won't have much left to give him.
So who does your BF fly for?
Take care,
Katherine

[7xblessed]

Hi Sophie...that's my precious girl kitty's name! =^,,^=

I am sorry you are feeling blue about matters that are temporary. I validate the fact you are feeling this way and at the same time remind you that you don't have to remain here, and you won't, because nothing is forever.

I've been a little blue lately and it's not because someone is doing something to me...I am creating this for myself. Yes, my man is gone half or more of the time and it's not easy having a relationship this way but you knew this was a hazard of the 'job' when you took it...it just becomes more real the longer we witness it. This time apart also allows me time, if I chose to use it, to do what I want w/out any restraints. I am a completely loyal person and also very independent.
Yes, I can eventually become lonely but there are a myriad of healthy ways to satisfy my hunger...no it's not the same as being with my man...it's just different.
Embrace your solo time and be happy where you are on the way to where you're going.

I second the motion (after you) that you need to boost your very own confidence level. Jealousy can be provoked, but not w/out our permission. The green eyed monster is usuallly about something in the past causing this insecurity and projecting it into your current situation. You'd be able to afford your own flat if you got paid for your imagination, (just a little joke) which seems to be running the show.
If we don't have trust we get a hornet's nest in return. Are you trustworthy yourself? Where is this coming from? If you were 'shat on from a great height' then you either had repeated great misfortune or there is something in you that attracted this to give you opportunity for much needed growth.

If you are concerned about 'lots of gorgeous Sweedish women' (imagination = $$$ for your own flat) then turn yourself into an even more attractive woman by becoming that which you desire to attract. Operate out of LOVE, (and learn to love yourself!) rather than fear and see what happens. I guarantee you will feel better w/a new found freedom that you hold the key to. Make mulitple copies so you have no excuse for misplacing it.

Exercise is a great natural anti-depressant. GO FOR IT. Get yourself in shape in every area of your life, because you CAN, and you will shine w/self assuredness. You really don't need someone else stoking your fire to make you happy...it is an inside job.
Whatever we focus on is what we manifest. I have proven this to my self, and sometimes in the most miserable way. No matter what your focus is about, imagined or otherwise, it's REAL to you and sometimes a real pain. It's up to you to rearrange your thinking so you can attract what you want, not what you don't want. Focusing on your insecurities will make you more insecure. Focus on your wonderful, beautiful assets and watch them/yourself blossom!

If you think your job is rubbish then change it, if you think you are boring then do something to change that because you CAN. You are not a prisoner to any of this. YOU, bright and blessed Sophie, hold the key to all of this.
What advice would you give someone if they came to you aching with this self inflicted pain?

That couple you speak of can't 'do your head in' unless you give them permission...you don't have to relinquish your power. If you feel yourself beginning to fume over their behavior, take a walk, or talk to the pillow and the next morning you may decide to set some boundaries if you feel it appropriate.

My heart's intent is to help you by virtue of 20 years more experience than you. Become a victor...it is so much more attractive for you and to your BF, as well as PEACEFUL, than volunteering to be a victim.

I just bet you have all kinds of things to be grateful for. Tap into the innate wisdom God gave you and use it to empower yourself and in turn be a blessing to others.

Good luck with all and have a great day because you CAN, it's your birthright, not your birthfight! ;-)
Celebrate LIFE and celebrate the miraculous creature you ARE. There is nobody else, in the whole wide world like YOU, Sophie; WOW!

Hey, thank YOU for reminding me of these things that strengthen us all. I needed that shot in the arm today!

[Kristie]

WOW.. that was really well said!! I think i'll be taking some of that advice myself today! Thanks!!

your right though.. everything we feel, we can fix ourselves!

[christykay]

Originally Posted by 7xblessed

My heart's intent is to help you by virtue of 20 years more experience than you. Become a victor...it is so much more attractive for you and to your BF, as well as PEACEFUL, than volunteering to be a victim.

I just bet you have all kinds of things to be grateful for. Tap into the innate wisdom God gave you and use it to empower yourself and in turn be a blessing to others.

Good luck with all and have a great day because you CAN, it's your birthright, not your birthfight! ;-)
Celebrate LIFE and celebrate the miraculous creature you ARE. There is nobody else, in the whole wide world like YOU, Sophie; WOW!

Hey, thank YOU for reminding me of these things that strengthen us all. I needed that shot in the arm today!

I'm guessing, and I could be wrong about this...but I am guessing that somewhere in your home you own a copy of Joel Osteen's book- Your Best Life Now.

I have this book and absolutely love it- I refer to it often. So just wondering. Anyway...great advice... CELEBRATE LIFE. It is nice to be reminded of that in this crazy and chaotic life we live.

[7xblessed]

I don't have that particular book, however, I did read part of it last year. Thanks for reminding me so I will pick it up again and see what new insight I may glean.
I appreciate what Joel conveys in a very gentle & non judgmental manner. There is more than one way to skin a cat (oh no, please, I love kitties) and to be pushy about how to 'become more enlightened' is doing the exact opposite of what these folks are trying to accomplish.

I began listening to Joyce Meyer about 10 years ago, (I can take it in smaller doses now) & since I am a midwest no candy coating type person she teaches in a manner I can relate to w/plenty of humor. Hopefully I have learned some things of value to share w/others who may find worth in and see how it works for them.
My own life has changed a LOT during those 10 years & I still have a very long way to go.
I'm happy to say that miracles continue to happen every day and those things we are unable to do on our own can be accomplished through Love and Relationship.

We must stretch ourselves on our spiritual paths, as well as the other areas of our lives. Growth is a lifelong process and if we get stuck in dogma we do not benefit anyone, including ourselves.

I thank you for your compliment as well as your interest in LYBL.
Even in the midst of our own dramas we can still enjoy our lives because we have SO much. Things like 3 meals a day are not necessary and is considered a luxury in many countries.

Now I should go talk to my pillow and sleep on my own advice.
Talk to you girls later and in the mean time count every one of your blessings and take nothing for granted: we're not getting any younger and life is not getting any longer.
BLESSINGS TO ALL.
D