Kristie you need a new section...

[tlhrn]

Lauren,

IÃ*m sorry youÃ*re going through such a difficult time. I can completely relate. ThatÃ*s what is so great about this site. Most of my friends have no idea what it is like to be married to a pilot. My Husband had training in September and was gone the whole month. He was home for three glorious weeks between training and starting reserve and now that heÃ*s on short-call reserve in a another state I see him only 6-8 days a month. We have a 2 year old and another baby due in a few months. Some wives enjoy the lifestyle, but IÃ*ve never gotten used to it. I miss him terribly and wish he were home. IÃ*ve been really working on being less critical of his career and trying to be more empathetic but itÃ*s tough. It sounds like your fiancÈ is pretty understanding of you and your career too, so that helps. Can you get home for a few days or go somewhere warm? It might brighten your sprits or give you a different perspective. I live in a cold climate too and that alone can be depressing. If you cannot, try tanning. Lots of studies show that light therapy can work wonders. IÃ*m a psych nurse and this has actually been prescribed for patients. If I was not 7.5 months pregnant IÃ*d be in that booth myself. Take care. Things will get better.

[Kristie]

I have a feeling that when there are kids involved, it just makes it more difficult.. not only for you - cuz you need a break.. but for the kids too cuz they need daddy around!

[Chi829]

Ditto That,,, that's what makes me so nervous to have kids!! YIKES! [img]images/graemlins/shrug.gif[/img]

[Chi829]

Lauren-
Is this DH's first airline job? Where is he doing his training??

[roz]

Actually, I found it easier because I had a child. I was running at the speed of light to keep up with my job, activities, etc. I didn't have time to feel sorry for myself (I'm not saying that any of you are--just stating what I started to feel and then had to let go). Then my father passed away and I started to have to care for my mother as well. Then I decided to go back to school for my MBA. Oh and our neighbors 200 foot tree fell through our house so we got the whole house remodeled. And then I had a tumor removed and was out of commission for a while. So, as you can see, I was a bit busy!

For me it also helped that I had a child and that Charlie didn't become an airline pilot until after we were married. I had already learned that I wasn't the center of the universe (although you can't tell from my whining post about Charlie leaving for Airbus training for 2 months!) and to have patience.

I guess I always viewed it in the same manner as the child rearing process: Nothing is static; everything is a stage; plan for the future; plan for options; be very flexible; take one day at a time; and do the best you can.

It's ironic because today, on my HR board, one of our members is admitting that she doesn't feel that there is any time for her in her marriage. She says that her DH gets to do what he wants and go off to golf, etc but she gets saddled with all the responsibilities. And then three dozen others chimed in with similar stories. So, even when DH is home every night, one can feel isolated!

So hang in there. Nothing stays the same! And live where YOU want to live.

[Chi829]

Dang Roz! I feel like I owe you money every time I read one of your posts,,, yeah DH is gone tonight,,,, am I feeling lonley and sad? YES! Should I be working on maybe uhhhh,,,,,, mailing out wedding invitaions, YES! But instead I run to my therapy board!! haha [img]images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] It always makes me feel so much better when I get on here and read how other people are feeling too.

It's funny because my mom said the same thing, when DH and I decide to have children it will get easier because I won't have time to sit around and dwell on him being gone. I sure do hope that's the case.

With that being said, I get to wake up tomorrow and say, wow! he'll be home tomorrow, oh my gosh! I'm so lame. I wish I had airline pilot wives here in orlando I could meet! Anyone know any? [img]images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[roz]

Jo, since you are in Orlando, you are now in charge of taking care of MY son! My wooden spoon has a hard time reaching him from Philly.

[Chi829]

anytime Roz,, you know SERIOUSLY, if you need me to help him with anything, I am here and available. Just let me know. I know several people going to his school. [img]images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[roz]

So you can help nag him to take the truck in for an oil change? Wow! [img]images/graemlins/yay.gif[/img]

And can you nag him to make some veggies with his fabulous meals that he cooks with meat he buys from Whole Foods? [img]images/graemlins/rotflol.gif[/img]

[Kristie]

actually, i get into orlando at least once every 3 months to visit my sister and my baby niece...she's down in the celebration/disney area.. altho i don't typically get a car when i come into town - I could give you a call and we could go hang at disney for a bit?! [img]images/graemlins/yay.gif[/img]