Real or fake?

[kimlantse]

Whether this letter is genuine or not, it made me laugh so hard... enjoy!



Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the Leak Guard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts.

But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from 'the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred Hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a GeorgeForeman Grill just because he told her he thought Grays Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter.

Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words:

'Have a Happy Period.'

Are you stinking kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny
middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing
happiness is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James?

FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to load yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately,there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending crap. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.

Best,
Wendi Aarons
Austin, TX

[Brenda]

I read this a few months ago! I almost peed my pants laughing!

[pilotwife38]

That is so funny! I am in tears. I have often wondered why the women are so happy in those ads and how anyone could be happy during that time.

[ccbegay]

hhahaha...thank goodness for the pill...light, almost 'enjoyable' periods...hahahaha...that's great...

[patty@myflightsurgeon.com]

If you use always (I do) they have now taken the logo off the pack.

It was on one of their commercials also and one day my DH was watching TV and said " Yeah right Happy period my a**". "That guy must not be married"

[BAC]

Originally Posted by pilotwife38

I have often wondered why the women are so happy in those ads and how anyone could be happy during that time.

I know exactly why some women may be happy... When I started dating my boyfriend before I started taking the pill, I sure was a happy camper when my monthly "curse" came my way!!

[kimmerz77]

ahh...I almost would be happier to have one...I have implanon, it is an implant and I usually never have one but when I did have one I would sometimes be emotion but nothing real bad but know I can tell when I should have one b/c I get so mean I can almost not stand myself.....messing with my hormones too much I think

[katherine2473]

Reminded me of that fabulous beaver dam email from a while back, which always makes me laugh. Here's the link
Urban Legends Reference Pages: Beaver Dam Letter

[Mrs.Alchemist]

What about the commercials on TV which talk about donating money to Africa to help the girls there with their period problems... Sounds good an all, but it annoy the crap out of me when they say at the end of the commercial, "Use your period for good!" WTF!? What the hell is that supposed to even mean? It's as bad to me as "Have a happy period!"

[BAC]

Originally Posted by Mrs.Alchemist

What about the commercials on TV which talk about donating money to Africa to help the girls there with their period problems...

I've been thoroughly confused by those commercials too... I mean before pads and tampons didn't they have RAGS? I don't understand why these girls can't go to class if they don't have an Always pad stuck between their legs...