Motivation and "Safe Zones"

[spotty4]

I like Doogie's message of motivation. But its most important, as Bigsweetie emphasized, to keep it all in perspective to what is best for the individual. Everyone's piece of pie in the sky is unique. That's what makes things so great ... variety. But whatever your honey's pie is, stand along side w/ pride and support and encouragement. Together the best decisions will be made.

[Bigsweetie]

Here's the link so you can listen to the song... it's AWESOME btw!!

Carrie Underwood Official Site

The title of the song is "So Small"

While you're listening to the song I'd like for you to think about something...

Everything in your life should be one piece of a big pie. Once piece shouldn't be bigger than any other.

So many pilots talk about how thrilling it is to be up in that plane and look down on the world and how majestic and beautiful it is. Or they talk about their travels all over the world and their eyes just light up with joy. You can see it in their face!! That's awesome!! But he should be feeling those SAME feelings everytime he looks into his wifes/gf's eyes. He should look at her with the same awe and wonder as a beautiful sunset and he should feel just as blissfull and fulfilled when he's sitting next to her on the couch as when he's in Rome touring the Colloseum.

Many pilots don't do that. They see their wives/gf's as "responsibilities" and although they pay lip service to loving their wives, they love that plane alot more. This same woman, who has stood by his side through all the BS in this industry. The woman who wants nothing more than to love him with all her heart and misses him when he's gone, runs into his arms when he gets home (which I know some women don't do, but should), and holds down the fort at home so he CAN go out there and "be fulfilled".

Just my .02

[Doogie]

I think a few of us aren't taking the opportunity take a few notes from a few guys with interest enough to drop by and give you the pilot-dude perspective.

The last thing Kristie wanted to create is an environment where people show up to reinforce their preconceived ideas. Like there are spousal support groups in pilot-dense communities that more or less sit around and complain about the lifestyle and the industry and basically have degenerated into nothing more than fashion shows, cotillions and tea/crumpet sessions.

Lots of effort but very little emphasis on the aspects that make an 'airline marriage' different and unique to most other relationships.

I viewed male participation as a unique opportunity to ask a couple of pilots blunt questions about subjects they may be apprehensions to ask because, after all, the answer was coming from "someone else's husband" rather than their own. Like it'd be way easier/safer for you to ask me about what happens on layovers rather than your main squeeze because he may have to worry about repercussions of a frank answer and I really don't.

But, I guess the short experiment ruffled more feathers than turned on light bulbs, so back to the JC!

[SeatClutcher]

Originally Posted by Doogie

I think a few of us aren't taking the opportunity take a few notes from a few guys with interest enough to drop by and give you the pilot-dude perspective.

The last thing Kristie wanted to create is an environment where people show up to reinforce their preconceived ideas. Like there are spousal support groups in pilot-dense communities that more or less sit around and complain about the lifestyle and the industry and basically have degenerated into nothing more than fashion shows, cotillions and tea/crumpet sessions.

Lots of effort but very little emphasis on the aspects that make an 'airline marriage' different and unique to most other relationships.

I viewed male participation as a unique opportunity to ask a couple of pilots blunt questions about subjects they may be apprehensions to ask because, after all, the answer was coming from "someone else's husband" rather than their own. Like it'd be way easier/safer for you to ask me about what happens on layovers rather than your main squeeze because he may have to worry about repercussions of a frank answer and I really don't.

But, I guess the short experiment ruffled more feathers than turned on light bulbs, so back to the JC!

But...but...Doug! Few apples? whole bunch? You know how the whole thing goes.

[Kristie]

oh, you know he'll be back

[Bigsweetie]

Originally Posted by Doogie

I think a few of us aren't taking the opportunity take a few notes from a few guys with interest enough to drop by and give you the pilot-dude perspective.

The last thing Kristie wanted to create is an environment where people show up to reinforce their preconceived ideas. Like there are spousal support groups in pilot-dense communities that more or less sit around and complain about the lifestyle and the industry and basically have degenerated into nothing more than fashion shows, cotillions and tea/crumpet sessions.

Lots of effort but very little emphasis on the aspects that make an 'airline marriage' different and unique to most other relationships.

I viewed male participation as a unique opportunity to ask a couple of pilots blunt questions about subjects they may be apprehensions to ask because, after all, the answer was coming from "someone else's husband" rather than their own. Like it'd be way easier/safer for you to ask me about what happens on layovers rather than your main squeeze because he may have to worry about repercussions of a frank answer and I really don't.

But, I guess the short experiment ruffled more feathers than turned on light bulbs, so back to the JC!

The issue might not be that a male perspective is unlwelcome here, but that what little male perspective we've had has been very one sided and not willing to admit that their way of thinking isn't the only way. I encourage you to re-read your posts and try to hear it from another perspective.

The majority of the ladies here have only pointed out that there is more than one way of thinking, and that seems to get "squashed".

I agree with the INTENT of your original post, and as a matter of fact, my DH has no bigger supporter than me! I am his biggest cheerleader and his biggest fan! The few times my DH has wanted to quit altogether, I'VE been the one to encourage him not to give up.

But every person in the relationship wants nothing more than to be understood. I understand my husbands dreams, I support them to the best of my ability, but I don't feel the same in return. I'm not alone in that I don't believe. And there-in lies the rub.

Just as you thought that having "guys" post here would allow us to understand YOU'RE/THEIR perspective, many ladies here took it as an opportunity to get THEIR perspectives heard too. But that was ALSO met with discontent.

JMO.

[Anonymous]

Doug,

I am the significant other of one of the women on theese boards, and have been disgusted with your attitude.

This board has been a wonderful resource for her and only in the past few days have I heard her in complete shock at the things spewing from you. I am only here at her request and do not view the board normally.

First of all, you have not seen all aspects of the industry. You saw a few years of flight instruction, small regional, and then a major airline. You have had what may seem to many as a fairytale career with few interruptions. From what I know of you, you have never been furloughed and have only suffered through mabye one or two base closures during your tenure at Delta.

You have found a niche for yourself. And it is obvious you take pride in that.

However, insinuating that not wanting to fly 767's internationally is wrong is downright insulting. I have known many pilots that have retired happily from domestic airlines and never looked back. My uncle retired before the Eastern strike as the #1 L-1011 Captain and never flew anything international more than N. America. He says to this day that he wouldn't have changed a thing. I could go on.

You are happy with what you have determined as your end-all-be-all of your Delta career. Do you scoff at those pilots who stay on the MD-88 or 737 for schedule? Even though you were one of those pilots yourself at one point? How long have you been able to hold the ER out of Kennedy....I would imagine you held off long enough until you had good seniority. Imagine being a new-hire in NYC on the ER being stuck IRO on ACC runs.

Some may make the case that being a Captain is the ultimate goal, nd that you should take the first available upgrade. Why haven't you bid MD-88 NYC? I would imagine because what's good for some might not be good for you! (Sound familiar?)

Overall, your opinion is of one. And you're not talking to your normal neophyte regional FO wannabe crowd who hail you as a god. Many of the women on here have husbands/boyfriends that have equal or greater experience than yourself in more types of flying. However it has taken an amazing act of cockiness on your part to make any one of us interfere. Not to mention that theese women most likely understand many of the intricacies of this industry beause aviation is a massive part of thier lives.

I respect your opinion and am glad that you have found what it is that you wanted to do at Delta. But you need to step back, check yourself and realize that you are a miniscule fraction of the pilots in this country and that every single one of us may have different goals and aspirations than yourself.

[Chi829]

Sorry,,,,,just had to!

[UKcats06]

I think it would be like if another pilot told you "you haven't done anything until you fly cargo (like UPS or FedEx). Its soo much better than any commercial carrier"

It seems like we can't all agree to disagree. And maybe some people are trying to shove their opinions down others throats. The grass isn't always greener on the other side to everyone.

[TheWife]

I have learned that there is dog poop on both sides of the fence.