Hurt Feelings

[UKcats06]

Originally Posted by SeatClutcher

There were five houses not invited, though. Is it possible offense is sometimes taken when there isn't any meant? What if the lady couldn't afford to invite every single person in the neighborhood? What if the people she invited were closer to her, friendship-wise, and the others were just neighbors?

One thing I feared about the suburbs was the expectation of automatic friendship brought about by little more than physical proximity.

(I'm not trying to sound mean, I promise. There are certainly thoughtless people out there, but not inviting a few people to your party doesn't necessarily make you thoughtless. If you bend over backward to please every single person, or live your life to avoid potentially hurting anyone's feelings, you're going to wear yourself out. Especially today, with 'self esteem' building as big as it is. Wouldn't it be better to be invited because someone wanted you there, rather than being invited - probably with a sigh and an eye-roll - only out of some sense of neighborly obligation?)

I don't think with adults it is a big deal, but to rent a big slide and put it in the front yard when there are children that are not invited, that is what I have a problem with. I mean do you have to rub it in a kid's face?? I don't think it was intentional, just thoughtless. She couldn't put it in the backyard? Just as a courtesy to the 5 people she didn't invite? Thats the only thing I have a problem with.

[SeatClutcher]

Originally Posted by UKcats06

I mean do you have to rub it in a kid's face?? I don't think it was intentional, just thoughtless. She couldn't put it in the backyard?

Good point.

[Kristie]

since the party wasn't oblivious.. and you could see she was having a gathering/get together.. you could always non chalantly ask her how it went?! it's polite, it's neighborly, not gossipy or nosey at all....then conversation will be started and she might even say something about you not showing up and then you'll find out if maybe somehow your invitation got lost somehow/somewhere.

But at least you'll know where you stand. not that it's that big of a deal anyways...

I live on a cul-de-sac too.. and once a year, the people up the street (FAR up the street) decide to have a block party IN our cul-de-sac... they normally let us know about a week in advance which if you ask me, is too short of notice and we usually end up not being home because we can't plan too far out, we can't plan too far in (ick!)...but what's annoying is that i think they do that on purpose so they can use our cul-de-sac simply by saying "well, you WERE invited"...whatever! i guess it's not really my cul-de-sac but the city of scottsdales! hahaha

I mean, if it was me and someone i knew had a party but i didn't get an invite, i'd just casually ask how it went and go from there...

[SeatClutcher]

Ian said, yesterday, that he'd just have sent his kids to the fun waterslide lawn.

"Parents usually don't care if kids just come over. They probably just don't want more parents there."

If you remember being a kid, you really usually could get away with a lot. I can almost HEAR my dad saying, "Kris, just...just go on over. Ask them if you can play with them."

And I would. Who would care? AND, what kind of parent would say, "I'm sorry, little five year-old girl, but YOU weren't invited. Go home!" ?

If the parents at the party house said anything, you could just say, "Oh, I'm sorry - I didn't even realize it would be a problem! Timmy was outside playing and saw all the fun in your yard and just wanted to play, too. Was he any trouble?" Hee.

[Adreamer's_wfe]

We have been in the same situation. Last year we were not invited to the 4th of July party, this year we were. It has more to do with who is hosting. If I know the people well, or our kids play together, we get invited. I have had other neighbors ask how to get invited - because they NEVER get an invite - I feel badly for them.

The three neighbors closest to use get together every Fri. and Sat. night. We live on the corner, so it is basically in our backyard. The kids run wild while the adults drink and talk. It is not our thing, so we are not bothered by the fact that we are not invited. It does bother our oldest though. She will ask to go outside and play, and inevitably, one of the kids will invite her over, problem solved. I send over some snacks for all the kids and thank the hostess for letting her play.

I would NOT mention it to the hostess, but certainly get to know her better, or start inviting her children over to play.

[runfar66]

That stinks to be left out...but I can understand not wanting too many people there, either. I mean, it is hard to throw a party with so many guests and kids going wild on the slide...I understand. I think the other ladies were right. Let your kids go over there and play, give them something to give the hostess(that is always a nice gesture) and maybe invite them to a party that you have later in the year.