Drama!

[skibum515]

OMFG. My friend/coworker Erin has been quasi dating my (ex) boss for like, a week now. this girl flies off the handle at every little thing and tonight was Eric's birthday and so we were going to go out to dinner at 7:30 and then to the bar. We made these plans about a week ago, when she was there. She was only supposed to work until 2 today, but then she ended up staying late, till almost 8 (as did I) because there was a giant scheduling error. well, she calls eric freaking out that we're not changing the plans because she was going to be late. i was like, wtf? who cares - so we're going to be late (mind you, i'm late too because of work) run home get a quick shower and go. well, she lives in salt lake about half an hour from here so she couldn't really drive home and come back, so i offered her my place to shower and a change of clothes (at least a shirt) as well since we've got 3 showers.Despite all this, she's still being all pissed off at him/me and Eric stops answering his phone because he doesn't want to deal with all the shit that she's unleashing on him. I go home and take a quick shower, cause i'm going regardless since he's my friend too and i'm not about to take sides in all this.

She calls me as i'm driving to dinner and in the last 15 mins she's had a change of heart and is sobbing about how sorry she is and whatever. she ends up showing up at the bar and is there for like, an hour begging him to forgive her and all this shit, and he's just like, 'please go away. i'm too drunk and in no mindset to deal with this right now.' he told her to go away like a million times and she finally left all sobbing and he's all upset

the worst part is that she's got issues up the wazoo and i'm basically her only friend. she's been suicidal in the past and so i don't know if she's upset enough to do somethign tonight. i don't think so but i was really trying hard not to listen to what was going on between them (i was talking to some of the other people at dinner). I feel like i should be a good friend and call her, but at the same time I really just don't want to deal with anything tonight. She's driving me batshit crazy with her crazy mood swings and i really just can't take it anymore. so i'm not going to call her.

i just can't deal. i don't need this drama. i left high school for a reason! i hate f'ing drama. i hate it so much. my life is so much calmer and happier because i (usually) surround myself with drama free people.

ok if anyone is still reading at this point, you rock. i've had a couple of margaritas (after erin left) because i really just needed them so hopefully this post makes some sense...

[Kristie]

has anyone ever tried to tell her that she may need to go talk to a counselor or something to help her sort out her moods/feelings?

that might be your best approach in helping her gain control...if you want to help, that is.

[jr_lenz]

I agree with Kristie, maybe some meds too! good luck

[ccbegay]

oh yeah, casually mention counseling/therapy...I agree, that drama is so highschool...but if she REALLY has issues, there might be some guilt "IF" she would happen to do something...ya know? it doesn't hurt to help someone try to get help, they can take it or leave it...

[Amanda]

Emily- I feel for you. Some people just LIVE for drama in their lives! I have a freiend who I was close with who was all about drama. Something was always wrong with her life and she was always trying to cause trouble and/or put me on the defensive (like comparing her relationship to mine and Nick's or trying to 'one up' me).

It got to the point when I just said enough is enough. I slowly started distancing myself from her and stopped hanging out with her as much. I decided a long time ago that my life is pretty good and I am a positive person. I don't need anyone to bring me down.
I am still friends with her but things are much better between us. She now pours out her drama with other people, not me! Plus I think she did go to a therapist to work things out.

Be careful with bringing up therapy with somebody- they might take it the wrong way and freak out on you. Say something like- you know, when I'm feeling bad/having relationship troubles/depressed/ I find it really helpful to talk to somebody 'neutral' like a counselor.
Good luck.

[skibum515]

she was seeing a councler for a while, and is on a couple of different medications, one of which is a mood stabilizer, and after talking with John this morning i realized that she hasn't been on that one in a few days (weeks?) because she can't afford it. suddenly her behavior makes so much more sense, but i have to figure out a tactful, non accusatory way to tell her to get back on her medication! she's fine (a bit high stress) when she's on it, and nothing like this psycho that i've seen the last week. gah!

anyway, i feel a lot better this morning so i have to go to work and deal with her. wish me luck on figuring out the right words!

[SeatClutcher]

How'd it go?




Seems like people who should be taking meds often don't like to take them because it flattens them out (mood-wise)? I think I've heard that, somewhere. Seems no one wants to take their meds. Understandable, but man - the consequences suck, too.

[skibum515]

as expected, she came to work yesterday crying and apologizing for her behavior. she knows she needs to get back on her meds, the problem is that she can't afford them right now, but i guess her mom is sending her some $ so she can get back on them.

i've heard the same thing about the medications flattening people out mood wise, but I think it's more because they experience such dramatic peaks and valleys when they're not on them that being on them brings them to a place where most people are and it seems baseline because they don't have those fluctuations anymore.

she also told me that she had an abortion about a year ago (early aug) whereas she had before said she miscarried the baby. She was pressured by her (now ex) bf into getting it, but now she's a giant mess because she feels such guilt over it. she definitely needs to start seeing her therapist again(more $$ issues there), because i can't handle stuff like that! i feel really bad for her, but at the same time, i'm kind of feel like well, what did you expect would happen?

ugh. maybe that's a little harsh, but i hope you guys understand what i'm saying...

[SeatClutcher]

Originally Posted by skibum515

as expected, she came to work yesterday crying and apologizing for her behavior. she knows she needs to get back on her meds, the problem is that she can't afford them right now, but i guess her mom is sending her some $ so she can get back on them.

i've heard the same thing about the medications flattening people out mood wise, but I think it's more because they experience such dramatic peaks and valleys when they're not on them that being on them brings them to a place where most people are and it seems baseline because they don't have those fluctuations anymore.

she also told me that she had an abortion about a year ago (early aug) whereas she had before said she miscarried the baby. She was pressured by her (now ex) bf into getting it, but now she's a giant mess because she feels such guilt over it. she definitely needs to start seeing her therapist again(more $$ issues there), because i can't handle stuff like that! i feel really bad for her, but at the same time, i'm kind of feel like well, what did you expect would happen?

ugh. maybe that's a little harsh, but i hope you guys understand what i'm saying...

I was thinking about this (your friend) yesterday, and I started getting upset (irritated, annoyed) about how any kind of medical help requires so much money.

People who can't afford physical or mental treatment are left to be sick and emotionally traumatized. It sucks.

Fact of life, I know, but still.

[skibum515]

it's terrible. this girl drops about $100 a month on her meds and that's just in co-pays! I feel very blessed to have good health and the only thing i have to worry about paying for is birth control...