Tell me we're not crazy.....

[biochemtine]

OK. I think you ladies are the only one's who would understand this.

DH's school has a contract with China Air to do all their training. This program will start in the next month or so (Nov 1 at the earliest).

The training will be done at a seperate location than where they are doing the "regular" training for reasons of space and because China Air said so. That seperate location is about 100 miles southeast of where we currently live.

DH was offered a job (flat out told he would be an asset to the school and they would be sad if he didn't go) to teach ground school there, and then flight instruct when he gets his CFI (another LOOONG story behind that too).

I can't take my job with me, and we're not ready for me to quit to find one there.

Advantages to taking the instructor job with China Air:

1. free housing for 10 months (probably old officer quarters)
2. we think it has a meal allowance
3. he'll get through his hours faster because of the nature of the program
4. with the state of flight academy loans he might not have many students if he stays with the normal school instruction

So here's what we've decided to do. He's going to take the job (technically he still has to interview, but they've moreorless handed him the job) and I'm going to stay here. We'll see each other on the weekends. If nothing else, this will help us get used to the idea of him working for an airline when he'll be gone a bunch.

So are we crazy? Or is it that non-pilot families just don't get it?

[Tambralyn]

"If nothing else, this will help us get used to the idea of him working for an airline when he'll be gone a bunch."

I aboslutely agree with you here. This schedule will not be so terribly different from what he will have when he's with an airline, with the exception that he actually will have week-ends when you are also presumably off.

I know that non-airline families might not "get it", but this is part of our lifestyle, and as hard as it is sometimes, we make it work.

100 miles is not that far in the grand scheme of things. He could theoretically come home Friday night and leave early Monday morning. Heck, some people have a 2-hour commute even when they live in the same city where they work. For example, when John and I were in NY, it was not uncommon for people to commute two hours every day from Long Island to Manhattan. So really, you'd get three nights and two full days with him. I rarely get that much time with John when he ccommutes home.

Because this is not necessarily a long-term position, I fully support your decision to work this out in this way, if you think it's best for your current situation. Don't let anybody who doesn't really understand the circumstances talk you out of it if you feel this is the way to go for now. After moving twice for John's job, and having neither work out for him, we decided that no matter where he gets based, Rachel and I will stay here and he will commute.

[roz]

Heck, I did 100 miles in my last job!

Ditto here, it's absolutely the right decision to make! Remember nothing is forever--you can always make a change later!

[biochemtine]

Thank You!!!!!

[rgphib]

Originally Posted by biochemtine

So are we crazy? Or is it that non-pilot families just don't get it?

Honestly, non-pilot families just don't understand. They think it is so weird that my husband is gone all the time and I don't mind (I guess after 6 years of him working at Continental Express and flight instructing and flight training before that, you just learn to deal with it!). We all know that you just get used to the life style even though it does suck. We have a 2nd house on lake about 1 hour north of where we live. When DH is home and it is nice out, he goes there for his days off (he will come see me for a night). But I honestly don't care...I mean he can be at the lake enjoying his days off or in our condo....hmmmm...Everyone thinks I am crazy that I "let him" spend his days off up there. Maybe we are all just crazy! But I say you do whatever feels right for you guys. Don't listen to what other people say, you are the only ones who can decide what is best for your situation. Good luck!

[Chi829]

Great Decision. It will get you both used to the lifestlye although this situation may be a little better because me and the DH dont get to see eachother every weekend,,,,, but hey,, what a GREAT way to start off. Good for you guys!!! And when it comes to getting advice on stuff like this NEVER EVER ask non pilot people,,,,, they just don't get it.

[Kristie]

I completely agree with what all the ladies have said thus far!

a lot of times, the non-aviation families will be white as a sheet and gasping in awe that your allowing something like this to "happen".. but honestly, situations like this only make you stronger and make your marriage stronger...

good for you for taking the risk... it WILL get him ahead in the long run, it IS only temporary and it'll BE a great "bonding" situation in that you'll enjoy more quality time with eachother and you'll really notice how different it is when compared to 9to5 couples.

Good luck and congratulations to eric!!

[skibum515]

100 miles is nothing - it's an hour and a half drive (at least in MI). John and I have been doing 100 miles for a little over 3years now. Just figure like this - if he's going to be working on the weekends, then you drive down on Friday after you get off of work (always helps if you can work through lunch and leave an hour earlier), and drive home later on sunday night (for me I usually leave his place around 7pm or so, that way i have time to chill and wind down for the night). If he's not working weekends, then you guys can alternate which weekends who drives. It was nice because John and I were in school when we first started doing this so we knew our schedules (with exams) way in advance so we could plan out 4 months at a time - we just sat down with our calanders and marked who was going where. This may or may not work as well for you if he doesn't have a set schedule, but you'll figure out how to make it work.

Oh I should also add - it's not always easy as it sounds. There are times (at least for me) when he would leave and i'd start like a baby, or times when I would drive away from his place with tears in my eyes. It only usually lasted a few mins though cause once I got on the highway I had to focus on what I was doing, and know that I'd be seeing him in 5 days. Most times I was/am ok though and it's not that big of a deal, you get used to it, i promise (doesn't make it necissarily easier though!)

Honestly, I'm going in the opposite direction of you guys and I'm freaked (a little). We're going from 100 miles apart, never lived in the same town to moving in together in Utah. Can we say scary?

[Bigsweetie]

Are you crazy?

No. You're married to a pilot. Although that in and of itself MAY make you a crazy person (just kiddin'). It comes with the territory. At least you don't have to move or change your job. One of my husbands' friends who is also a pilot have been married for about 10 years and have only lived together (in the same house, in the same state) for the last 2 years. Before that he was working all over the country. Anywhere he could find a job. She stayed in Chicago cause she had a good job there.

This industry is going to present alot of challenges along the way. From long commutes, to job/base changes, to furloughs, to constant SCARES of furloughs, etc. It's not easy. But remember that he really appreciates and needs your support. Every stage of his career is going to present a new set of challenges, but also new opportunities. Maybe to live in a new place, or maybe it's travel benefits, whatever. You just have to remember that you're being a supportive wife and come here and vent if you need to.

Good luck!

[biochemtine]

Thank you ladies.
We weren't really asking anyone for advice, just telling our loved ones what was going on in our lives. And asking for prayer at church.

I guess I need to get used to the comments. Actually, the most understanding non-pilot person we've talked with was our pastor and he said if we need to do this than do it and he believes we do know what's best for us. So it's not like we're always being chastized; just often.

My co-workers seem to be the most understanding of it all. One lady suggested I find a room to rent and save even more money, but then Eric and I won't have time alone.

Emily --- 100 miles is quite a bit in Cali-talk. It's about 2 hours with no traffic.

It would be better for him to come to me on the weekends because there's nothing to do where his school is; and he could probably get off before me. I have to work until 5. I do tech support and can't leave early. And he'll never work weekends due to the nature of this trainign program.

However, also due to the nature of this program, he's going to have 44 students!!!!!

Thanks so much. It's good to talk to people who understand. For the first time I'm beginning to experience what being a pilot wife means and this board will become more and more important to me!!!!

One of my co-workers is a former marine and spent a lot of time away from his wife when they were newlyweds (they got married when he was on leave, she was still in HS) and so if I ever need someone to talk to about what it's like she's available.