Christmas alone

[lrcantrell]

This is my first year where my husband may be flying on christmas. I never thought about it until thanksgiving, he was called out the day before so I spent thanksgiving alone with just the kids and I (we just moved to CA 2 weeks ago so I have no one out here). I was so upset yet still so grateful that my husband is flying but I'm worried about christmas day since there's a chance he will be flying. Are any of your husbands gone for christmas and if so, how do you cope with it?

[MQAAord]

Ah, the holiday issue. I won't sugar-coat it, working on the holidays sucks. Everybody pays their dues while they're junior and works a few Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Years. It's a part of the job. Most airline families who are working have 'Christmas' on a day off, usually the week before the actual holiday.
This is my dh's first year actually being on reserve on Christmas day! I can't believe he's made is this far in his career never really being away from family on the 25th. He's been an airline pilot since 1994, at his first airline, a canyon tour operator in Vegas, they didn't operate on Christmas, so he was off. Then he went to Eagle, but he started in May, so by December he was senior enough to be off. At TWA he started a trip on the 25th, but late enough to commute in in the afternoon. Then he went to Delta where he was hired in late Oct, so by the time he finished new-hire ground school and did his checkride, it was the Dec 23rd, and contractually the have to have 2 days off after a checkride! The next year he was able to hold Christmas off. Then 9/11 (and all the furloughs) happened. The first holidays after 9/11 he was off, but not for 2002. He was at least able to hold a line with a 32 hour Louisville overnight (get in late on the 24th, don't leave until early morning on the 26th). He rented a car and was able to drive to his sister's house for the big family gathering. So he's been complaining up a storm this year about how he's going to have to work Christmas and I just tell him he's gotten off pretty darn easy so far, and that everyone at some point in their career HAS to work Christmas! It's an unfortunate part of the life! My first Thanksgiving was spent in new-hire school in Dallas, my first Christmas sitting reserve in Chicago. Second thanksgiving at the airport Holiday Inn in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, second Christmas at the Grand Traverse Resort in Traverse City, Michigan. From then on I was able to hold holidays off. The only reason I've been off for the past two holiday seasons is the fact that I'm furloughed! (Oh, and due to my own bidding screw-up, I ended up spending millenium New Year's at the Holilday Inn Strongsville (Cleveland). It sucked.)

To make a long story short, spend a lot of time on the phone on the holidays, talk to all your family everywhere. It'll help make it a little easier.

[ERJwife]

We take the northern perimeter road around SeaTac Airport to get back and forth from my husband's family home at the holidays (any day, actually). I remember always saying "I sure hope this is the last (insert whatever holiday it is) we spend this way for a while". Then 1996 came around, and I got my wish (be careful what you wish for). Now, especially since 9/11/01, I'm so grateful that he is still flying, and still loving it. The worst part is the rest of his family, they just can't deal with absences around the holidays, mother in law always asking "when are you going to get a real/better job?". Now THAT'S crazy-making!

As always, be flexible and NEVER make your man/woman/whoever feel bad that their schedule doesn't match the calendar. The holiday isn't the day, its the meaning behind it... even if its on the 27th!

Cheers,
~Erin

[Kristie]

I'm just gonna copy some of this over from another thread...

[quote:2854bea011]Yep, the holidays definately take getting used to and it takes years to get enough seniority to be able to bid around them (doug doesn't even have that yet, so just like last year, he's working it this year).. after a while, you get used to doing 1 of 2 things... get together with family on your own.. or take the holiday and make it your own...

Since I don't have kids, this is what i do...

on turkey weekend, i tend to get together with my family cuz i have the extra day off work to do so.. then i take xmas and new years for myself and make them my own... I'll set up an appointment with "me" and do my traditional xmas eve of clam chowda & little tea sandwiches.. then get up early, make myself a real breakfast and watch some parades... then cook my favorite xmas food - when doing that, i dont have to hear any relatives talk about how they want this, not that... type thing - so it actually ends up being a day just for me, provided by me... i do the same thing for new years... i start the new year out right...granted, sometimes it's hard to do the new years thing with everyone else going around kissing and all that mushy stuff - but cell phones are a good trick for that... usually "whatcha wearing" works for us! haha [/quote:2854bea011]
but just make it special for you & the kids and remind them that every day with them is a holiday - not just on thanksgiving, xmas & new years...and you'll do just fine! the first couple of missed major holidays are usually the hardest to get through...but i (IMO) think it gets easier to handle as time goes on...

maybe you could do something fun with the kids like get the video camera out on a tripod and put a santa hat on it and while it's running - pretend it's dad or take them out christmas light sightseeing and take the video camera along... that way, when dad comes home, you all can watch the tape together with some hot cocoa... or take some digital photos and send them right out to dad on email... doug always makes sure to remind me that it's no fun for him to be on the road during the holidays either - so it's not just me that's affected. So, it goes both ways...