Fear of Loss

[winggirl]

Hello everyone.. This will be my first of hopefully many posts and I would like to begin with an apology.
As I am new, I do not yet know the "policy" or "protocol" on such topics as I am about discuss.. But the truth is, this topic is the reason I sought out this site. So, here goes...
This past Wednesday two pilots crashed on my bf's runway and tragically did not survive. Still wheeling from the shock of that I heard also, the same day, two F-15 pilots collided here at Eglin and one of them did not survive.
And I am so scared. I have never been as afraid of anything in my entire life. My bf is in phase III training for fighters at CAFB and the last thing in the world that he needs is to feel the burden of my fears. I am not yet at the place where I can absorb such tragedy and still show absolute support for what he is doing. As a matter of fact, the first words out of my mouth after he told me of the crash were, Come Home.
Again, I am sorry to bring up this subject. As I am sure that I am relaying everyone's greatest fear...Please, I need advice...
How do you stand strong for the person that is your heart knowing that in a terrible moment he could be the one who does not come home? How do you possibly compose yourself enough in times like these to support him and his dream to fly? How?
Before Wednesday I would have unflinchingly said that I was a woman of faith. That through god's love I would have no fear.. But faced with this I can say that is obviously not so. I am scared. And I am also afraid that this bone deep fear might be an indication that I am not meant to be a pilot’s wife. That maybe I am not strong enough.
So, if any of you have been in this place and have suggestions or encouragement to share, I would be so grateful if you could share them with me now. As much as I love my bf I know that these thoughts are not what he can endure now, or maybe ever.