Confusion. Was there a vote taken?

[Kristie]

shouldn't this topic be in the "ask the guys" forum?

YOU (the members) asked me to put that forum up, said it was a good idea...i didn't hear any NO's come out of anyone's mouth...since there seemed to be overwhelming applaud for the idea, i put up the forum. Are you saying, now, that you don't want the answers to the questions you were thinking of asking? that you don't want male perspective or you don't want males, much less pilots, here at all now...is that what i'm hearing? because i'm sorry, but anyone and everyone is welcome on here. if at anytime i discriminate against any one person, that's the day i shut this board down.

other guys have always been apart of this forum and just now, maybe because of a few heated up threads, you want ALL the guys to leave - am i correct in that assumption?

What's wrong with some heat? I love it when people debate or argue with me, it shows they've got passion and courage...like Christykay, believe it or not, i have a lot of respect for her because she stands up for herself and altho her and i have shot cannons across each others bow, i learned something from her just as she's probably learned a few things from me and i'm sure someday we're gonna meet up and buy each other a coke or beer or something.

Hiding behind an anonymous tag for this particular thread or threads where people call out "oh, I don't want to be attacked" when this forum is actually pretty calm (compared to others that i'm apart of), is pretty cowardly in my opinion. stand up, be proud, be firm and be real about your decisons. There hasn't been one day that i haven't thought of using the anon tag but honestly, it's like pushing the easy button when your trying to make a point..and when you make a point like this using the anon tag, i see a cowardly lion standing behind the tin man.

The anon tag is there for the folks who need it for support with your relationship, when your just not comfortable talking about real life stuff, not for this purpose.

if you're too chicken to talk, gain valuable knowledge, get support, stick up for yourself and have some debate time then this board may not be for you. I won't be cultivating, like someone said, a pleasantville/stepford wives type of community. I expect things to get heated every now and then... it can't always BE kumbaya...

btw, there doesn't need to be a vote. this is a one woman owned board. i place the vote on how it's run and i make sure it stays the course. this board isn't a democracy

[SeatClutcher]

Originally Posted by Kristie

shouldn't this topic be in the "ask the guys" forum?

HA!

This gave me my first morning laugh.

[Bigsweetie]

Personally I don't care that the Ask the Guys section is there. Like others, I didn't really intend to pose a question there because (like others) I HAVE a guy at home to ask. And if I had a question, his is the only opinion that counts in my world. Again, that's just me.

Is there a "Ask the Wives" section at JC? I'm not being snotty, I seriously don't know.

I don't see anything wrong with it, personally, just not something i'd use for its intended purpose. I have reponded to those posts like I would any other post.

I think where things got heated, was Doug and Seggy wanted it to be a place to get THEIR view across and the ladies here (myself included) used it as an opportunity to get THEIR views heard too! I'm getting the impression that that stepped on the toes of the guys or they took it as "your opinion isn't valid, here's mine".

I can only speak for myself, but when I responded to Dougs post about traveling with your DH to see what he does, I added OUR experience here and why (right now) that wouldn't work- not because I disagree with him (which is how I think he took it) but just to respond to him with another viewpoint. I did mention in my post that I agreed with him, hopefully that wasn't overlooked!!!

At the same time, I don't think the guys should come here with the idea that we should all agree with them. And maybe they felt attacked? It's just shows a difference of how women and men communicate differently. Careful wording is key when communicating with women.

As far as the whole (mainline/international flying being "better" than regional flying), I think alot of women here were offended because they felt like Doug was saying "if your DH stays at a regional, he's a loser". That may not have been his intent, but that's how it came across (I even read it that way, and my DH flies cargo and wants to go to a major).

If someone said to your husband "he's a loser", don't you think as his wife you'd come out with fists flying???? Again, I know he didn't say those exact words, that's just how it came across.

I get the impression that Doug (and other guys on JC) think that we wives don't support our husbands. If that were the case, why would we be getting so upset when we felt that our husbands were being attacked for their choices?????????

Messageboards are a tricky place. There's opportunity for alot of hurt feelings.

I'm not one to back away from a fight (although I have left threads alone because I felt like it was a losing battle), but I DO try to word my posts in a way that reflect that THIS IS MY OPINION ONLY and that I respect the fact that others have differing opinions.

The key word is RESPECT and TACT!! This is why the "preview post" button is here.

And since we're being honest and not using "Anon" (which i've never done), the comment Doug made about "this is my living room" and yours about "this is not a democracy" may very well be true. But as the hosts of this forum we are your guests. It's our job to be repectful to you, but we expect the same in return. I don't mind a heated arguement once in a while. I like to put my big girl panties on and role around in the mud too occassionaly. But if we're not careful, this house will be empty. And I think, so far, the majority of us are still enjoying the party!!

(((HUGS)))

[czechmate]

Wow. I'm shocked their is such a backlash against this. I think I was the one who initially asked for the "ask the guys" section.

I don't see why it's such a big deal.
I know that many of you have said that if you have a questions you will ask DH, BF, Dad, etc. Well, I on the other hand value SOMEONE else's opinion. I've been around my DH for 10yrs and my Dad for 34yrs -- I already know what they will say because they will tell me what I want to hear.
I thought it would be interesting to have another "aviation" man give their perspective.

I think some people need to lighten up otherwise this will become jetgirls -- the man-hater's club.

My opinion.
Jen

[czechmate]

Oh yeah, regarding the anon postings...what if anon was only available in the safehouse?

I don't know if its possible to do that or if you should "force" people out, but hiding behind anon on every question is childish.

Once again, my opinion and let the "discussion" begin....


Jen

[Bigsweetie]

Originally Posted by czechmate

Wow. I'm shocked their is such a backlash against this. I think I was the one who initially asked for the "ask the guys" section.

I don't see why it's such a big deal.
I know that many of you have said that if you have a questions you will ask DH, BF, Dad, etc. Well, I on the other hand value SOMEONE else's opinion. I've been around my DH for 10yrs and my Dad for 34yrs -- I already know what they will say because they will tell me what I want to hear.
I thought it would be interesting to have another "aviation" man give their perspective.

I think some people need to lighten up otherwise this will become jetgirls -- the man-hater's club.

My opinion.
Jen

I don't think there IS a huge backlash against it. Just people saying they don't intend to use it. Not that they want it removed! I think there's LOTS of people here who "need to lighten up".

I'm curious though (and don't read more into it than anything other than curiosity), what questions would you have for another pilot that you wouldn't want your DH's opinion on? I'm honestly curious! Would you think it reasonable for your husband to go to JC and ask a question about "understanding pilot wives"? Or would you say "why didn't you just ask me?" Again, just curious.

I did like the questions about care packages during training, or if I wanted to surprise my husband with a "aviation" gift, i'd "ask the guys" only because I wanted it to be a surprise though. If I didn't, i'd ask DH what he wanted. KWIM?

[Bigsweetie]

Originally Posted by czechmate

Oh yeah, regarding the anon postings...what if anon was only available in the safehouse?

I don't know if its possible to do that or if you should "force" people out, but hiding behind anon on every question is childish.

Once again, my opinion and let the "discussion" begin....


Jen

Although I personally don't use ANON to post here, I think limiting it to the safehouse is focusing on the wrong thing. Focus on the comments made, not the username under which they are posted. I think it's more important to focus on what's being said, not who's saying it.

JMO.

[czechmate]

Originally Posted by Bigsweetie

Although I personally don't use ANON to post here, I think limiting it to the safehouse is focusing on the wrong thing. Focus on the comments made, not the username under which they are posted. I think it's more important to focus on what's being said, not who's saying it.

JMO.

I agree. I never used ANON and don't see why so many posts use it.

But I thought that there might be a time where someone wanted to ask a question but was too embarassed to worried to use their name. Then they could post in the safehouse.
I've never been embarassed to ask anything, but some people might be different.

Jen

[Bigsweetie]

It's just a matter of comfort level. Honestly, it used to bother me too! But then I realized, that's their choice, not mine. Focusing on the fact that they're using ANON meant I wasn't really listening to their post (which is more important IMO). And that was my bad, not theirs.

Smiles!!

[czechmate]

Originally Posted by Bigsweetie

I don't think there IS a huge backlash against it. Just people saying they don't intend to use it. Not that they want it removed! I think there's LOTS of people here who "need to lighten up".

I'm curious though (and don't read more into it than anything other than curiosity), what questions would you have for another pilot that you wouldn't want your DH's opinion on? I'm honestly curious! Would you think it reasonable for your husband to go to JC and ask a question about "understanding pilot wives"? Or would you say "why didn't you just ask me?" Again, just curious.

I did like the questions about care packages during training, or if I wanted to surprise my husband with a "aviation" gift, i'd "ask the guys" only because I wanted it to be a surprise though. If I didn't, i'd ask DH what he wanted. KWIM?

Initially I asked Doug...if these pants make me look fat --- joke.

Then I asked about Nascar.
It's been a discussion in my house for 10 years. I wanted to know why other men found it interesting.
J will be honest with me to a point, because, at the end of the day he wants to share our bed.
So, if I wanted a more honest opinion, with no strings attached, I could ask someone here for their point of view.

If J wanted to ask "other" women, why I do this or that... it wouldn't bother me.
J and I are not a members of JC or any other message board so there would be nobody else to ask.

I come here to discuss aviation life with other wives,so, etc.
I enjoy the discussions from what's your favorite color (green) to the I fly a bigger plane and you should too -- although I haven't posted to that one YET.

I enjoy it here.
Jen