New Respect for Hubby

[Nadine]

Hey Doogie, you are a *****cat (no pun intended) compared to my husband. He has frank opinions about everything from women to flying to the state of war in Iraq. Most I agree with but some I have to argue with him about which is always fun because he is always right. Of course I am always right so you can guess how that goes. I would never curtail him from posting but it is probably a good thing he only likes posting on the Fender, Lotus and Ducati forums.

One piece of advice I really agree with is that he has always expressed to anyone that asks about entering this career (other than don't do it) is to have another skill, vocation or any way to make a living other than this. He has an OT degree and I can't tell you how important that has been over the last 15 years. This business will always be unstable as long as the world remains the way it is now. If that isn't possible than as the significant other, be prepared to start working.

By the way, not to sound stupid but what the heck does DH stand for? I have some ideas but they are probably not as friendly as the true answer.

[CLErocks]

Aren't some doing the same thing to Doug that they don't want to happen to them at the JC forums?

[ccbegay]

Originally Posted by CLErocks

Aren't some doing the same thing to Doug that they don't want to happen to them at the JC forums?

i was thinking the same thing......it seems to me like we've asked for pilot opinion in this crazy aviation world, but really didn't want to hear what he has to say...so whats the point, why ask if we can't take it...

[Kristie]

Originally Posted by Nadine

Most I agree with but some I have to argue with him about which is always fun because he is always right.

yea, i don't typically win those debates either...but they certainly are fun! haha

Originally Posted by Nadine

One piece of advice I really agree with is that he has always expressed to anyone that asks about entering this career (other than don't do it) is to have another skill, vocation or any way to make a living other than this. He has an OT degree and I can't tell you how important that has been over the last 15 years. This business will always be unstable as long as the world remains the way it is now. If that isn't possible than as the significant other, be prepared to start working.

By the way, not to sound stupid but what the heck does DH stand for? I have some ideas but they are probably not as friendly as the true answer.

DH is technically "Dear Husband" depending on the type of day your having. All of the Acronyms (if you have more to add, let me know!) are under the FAQ on the menu

Doug and I are always stressing the importance of a second skill or degree, something non-aviation related to help if instability occurs. So, you are absolutely correct in protecting your behind as well as protecting your front side!

[Kelly]

Originally Posted by ccbegay

i was thinking the same thing......it seems to me like we've asked for pilot opinion in this crazy aviation world, but really didn't want to hear what he has to say...so whats the point, why ask if we can't take it...

well said.

[Nadine]

Hey Kristie, thanks for the heads up. My interpretation would have had those **** appearing instead of text, like my first post. (this really is a PG-13 site).

[roz]

"Sigh. Negative Nancies trying to hijack the website and then turn it around on us and say that we're the negatives... GRR"

Please explain who is hijacking the website? Are there hackers???? I only see MEMBERS voicing disagreement with being told that you know better!

Originally Posted by CLErocks

Aren't some doing the same thing to Doug that they don't want to happen to them at the JC forums?

Nope. What happened to me on JC was that someone asked a question about how to express their need for additional responsibilities at work and addressed it to the "HR" people. I answered and was told that HR is the enemy and that HR is responsible for all the evils of corporate America.

What happened here is that a pilot posted his view of the profession as the only "right" way. When others protested that there are other considerations depending upon personal circumstances, the pilot continued to tell us that he knew better. No one is saying that his lifestyle is wrong, but what we are saying is that others are not wrong either. That is a BIG DIFFERENCE!

"1. Did not see Doug being hostile, or don't understand how someone came that poin."


Hostility is interpreted by the recipient, not the outside world. If I'm offended by something, you can't take that from me. The feeling is mine and is valid. Then it is up to the person who made the remark to either apologize or move on and be ignored going forward.

5. Agree with what Kristie has said, "but it's simply because he knows the way of the road, wants to help others get there...he knows that a lot of the other halves don't understand how it all works, so he too is a motivator..wants people to excel and you don't "have" to listen to him but you also don't have to call him out either. His perspective is wanted here just as much as anyone else's, this is an aviation related website." Really, he has been there done that!

Yes, but his perspective is not the only perspective. Again, it depends on where you are. My DH would not want to be an FO forever. To him, that is torture. So, he positions himself accordingly. Also, he has so many outside interests, that what is important to him is the schedule and a paycheck. He says that when the door closes, it doesn't matter how many seats are back there. That's his perspective after 28 years of flying. For others it is different.

Some wise person said that life is short and you only have one, so make the most of it. I have a busy rest of the weekend ahead, so I'm moving on!

[roz]

But you see, it all does depend on your perspective. Doug chooses not to be a captain. He chooses to be an FO and fly "international". He says that's the end all and be all. It is for him. But for others, continuing to be an FO is like a death sentence to enduring torture, particularly if you were a captain for a great length of time prior to this employer as was my DH. So, some may choose to upgrade into a domestic seat just to upgrade. That is their choice. To me that is a valid decision. Others, like my DH, fly mixed routes so they have many international trips anyway. Perhaps Doug is not aware that other airlines have these different ways of operating--I don't know as that has not been discussed. Per Doug's post on one of the three threads going on this same topic, he believes "international" is the only way to go. I don't know what that means, because "international" to him is not the same at other airlines. But again, it's all about understanding the total scope of the industry and your little piece within it, as DH always says.

Doug's post:


"As a pilot, anyone who says that "international ain't all that" is kidding himself.

Seriously, I was "that guy".

Domestic, you're excited if you get a long layover in Detroit. International, it's way different and if it's a new city you bring a long of experience home that's refreshing.

It's different, it's better. I didn't have that good of a layover in Bucharest, Romania, but I'll tell you, the worst international layover has been about 5x better than my absolute best domestic layover.

Trust me, anyone who says, "International ain't all that" hasn't done it."

Oh, and it's too bad ACY is a regional layover for Delta. That's an awesome layover--on the beach in a beautiful hotel!

[christykay]

Originally Posted by Kristie

I sincerely apologize if some of you really honestly think that i'm being condescending towards the regionals or have an attitude about those who want to stay at the regional level, that's not how I want to portray myself...I've been there, gone through that phase of the industry and it was a really difficult time in my life mainly because of how the airline treated my husband (un-unionized) and because of how hard it was to live our life, together. honestly, i'm trying to be more motivational than anything because in my opinion, there's always something better out there and I want to see everyone "going for the gold", top of the heap, dreams of all dreams and i guess it must be getting lost in the translation somewhere/somehow. I'm just gonna have to try and word things a lot better while keeping facts as facts or just be quiet and keep it to myself.

Hearing people (mostly off the site) talk about how they don't want their husbands to move and start over again makes me cringe and wonder - why not? sooner the better IMO.... Like right now, i know this girl (she's not even on the site) that is a SAHM and her husband is pretty miserable in his job, wants to change it and the location where they're living but can't because he's the only one bringing in income... she's not willing to work even part time so he can look for a new job..I've tried to give her ideas on things she could do to help and she's unwilling (at this point). granted, there might be other circumstances surrounding, like the age of kids or what not, but where there's a will, there's always a way and I just can't fathom how married couples work and stay together like that. Too many times, i hear women talking about how their scared about change so they don't want their husbands to seek improvement in their jobs because that means "change", they just want the security and stability that they're used to and for it to always stay the same.

So, i'm slowly starting to understand that everyone's achievements are different, everyones "gold" is a different hue from a different mine and i have to admit, sometimes it's hard, for me, to adjust to that way of thinking. In my mind, the regional level will always be "a stepping stone", a means to an end and only a career lifestyle if your over the age of being able to get into Spirit, SWA, ATA, Airtran, NWA, United or any other non-contract type of airline. I'm not sure that i can change that definition in my mind's eye simply because everyone one step in front always told doug and I that he should always "go for the gold" and for him and a majority of pilots, that gold is/was int'l flying (cargo or pax)...for everyone else, i'm learning that is different and it's something i just need to get used to as my experience hasn't agreed that the "gold" is regional or mainline domestic flying. that's just the way I am and that's just the way you all are, no attitude intended.

Honestly, when i talk about international and how i see it as "all over better", i hope ya'll will realize from here on out, that i'm talking bout in my situation alone, it's working out very well - for me - and i don't think i deserve a shoutout of whose definitions differs from others...I'm not trying to refer it to anyone else, i'm not trying to show "attitude" but i am trying to motivate so you all can help your families reach out and not ever stop yearning for "your/their" gold. mmmkay?

Thank you and I happily accept your apology on condescending behavior toward the regionals. It's fine to be motivational and is appreciated, but a true motivator realizes that everyone's description and definition of "gold" is different.

You only know me and my DH from posts, but what you may not know is that my DH is a career changer and left a 10 year position with United Parcel Service (UPS). A great company where he worked in pre-load, management, and then 5 years as a package delivery driver. He left UPS making great pay and had fabulous benefits to try something new. Why?? Because he wanted to do something that would challenge his brain rather than working and challenging his body. We NEVER got into this profession for the money it was his dream to fly- so we made that happen. As for the money we still aren't at the same income level that he was at when he left UPS, but do you know what? He is so much happier and in turn I am too-because together we have made this dream a family dream and it has become reality. For us making this career change was obviously a scary one for sure, but; Not trying and seeing what could be would have been scarier than Not trying at all and wondering what could have been.

Last week my DH attended the funeral of a 52 year old pilot (Managing Director of Operations) for Air Wisconsin who loved his job and loved being a pilot, but loved being a Daddy so much more. This man leaves behind a wife and three daughters. Two are under the age of 12 and one is 5 months away from delivering his first grandchild. This man never flew internationally, so you're right everyone's hue of "gold" is different. Like this pilot our family comes first and there is NO amount of money that can take that away.

My DH may never fly internationally, he may never fly for a major and we are so ok about that, even better than ok, because he is doing what he was trained to do- he is a pilot and he is happy. I couldn't be any happier and proud of all that he has accomplished. My DH has been my partner for 17 years and I am more in love with him today than I have ever been. He is an amazing Daddy to our four amazing kids and I honestly would NOT change any of it. Being happy and enjoying life with our family is our hue and definition of "GOLD". Being a pilot is just his profession not his definition.

[Kristie]

Originally Posted by roz

But you see, it all does depend on your perspective. Doug chooses not to be a captain. He chooses to be an FO and fly "international". He says that's the end all and be all. It is for him. But for others, continuing to be an FO is like a death sentence to enduring torture, particularly if you were a captain for a great length of time prior to this employer as was my DH. So, some may choose to upgrade into a domestic seat just to upgrade. That is their choice. To me that is a valid decision. Others, like my DH, fly mixed routes so they have many international trips anyway. Perhaps Doug is not aware that other airlines have these different ways of operating--I don't know as that has not been discussed. Per Doug's post on one of the three threads going on this same topic, he believes "international" is the only way to go. I don't know what that means, because "international" to him is not the same at other airlines. But again, it's all about understanding the total scope of the industry and your little piece within it, as DH always says.

Doug's post:


"As a pilot, anyone who says that "international ain't all that" is kidding himself.

Seriously, I was "that guy".

Domestic, you're excited if you get a long layover in Detroit. International, it's way different and if it's a new city you bring a long of experience home that's refreshing.

It's different, it's better. I didn't have that good of a layover in Bucharest, Romania, but I'll tell you, the worst international layover has been about 5x better than my absolute best domestic layover.

Trust me, anyone who says, "International ain't all that" hasn't done it."

Oh, and it's too bad ACY is a regional layover for Delta. That's an awesome layover--on the beach in a beautiful hotel!

I think you put this in the wrong thread (since it's quoting a post from this thread), so i moved it for you.

Doug's perspective is just that, his perspective. Everyone's is their own, just like you stated and no one's is the "only" perspective, just like you stated. but he's entitled to it just as much as anyone else. When he talks international, it's with his airline only since he cannot relate to how the other airlines operate their international fleet (i mean that should be obvious shouldn't it?). I have not yet found a thread or post where he says that only he is right or that his way is the only way. you must be assuming that's what he meant or you interpreted it that way? i'm still looking but i betcha i won't find anything because he doesn't talk that way. again, he's a motivator, he wants to see everyone reach their potential and goals - whatever they may be. he's never said that international is the end all be all (i can't find those words exactly as stated) and if the hostility you're feeling like you said, is based on individual interpretation (of which you are entitled to) and not the outside world, then why are you bringing it back into the outside world, into the forums? you should be keeping that between you and doug (via PM), it's obviously a problem you two should solve or agree to disagree.

Each post/thread is based on each persons perspective of what they've seen/gone through, we all know that...but again, he is just as entitled to that perspective as is anyone else on the board. if your trying to get him to change how he portrays his perspective and/or how he posts, good luck with that because it's not going to happen. He's a straight forward type of guy, doesn't mince words...maybe that's why you two tend to butt heads?

It seems that you have some other problem with doug that is may be underlying apart from this topic. Whatever it is, your more than welcome to try and work it out with him away from the forum (via PM maybe?) or put him on your ignore list because, i'm sorry, but i highly doubt he's going to change how he does things to please a select few. he hasn't done it on Jetcareers, why would he do that here?

He and I are just as much part of this site as is anyone else who is or wants to become a member. Charlie, and/or anyone else's bf/dh, is more than welcome to bring his perspective on board. it'd be appreciated and it'd be understood.

But just to be clear, the caretaking of the website and our (doug's and mine) discussions, opinions and perspectives written on the website/forum are completely separate. I never inter-relate the two. Even though we are the owners/operators, we should be allowed to give valid opinion just like everyone else. Yes, i operate and fully fund the site but it's the advertisers and members that keep it alive and ticking. Even if someone has some type of distaste of me and/or doug's posting habits/opinions, that would be no reason to try and harm the website itself. to do that would only hurt all the other members more than it would hurt me...heck, it would save me a heck of a lot of backend work and $$. But for the sake of the members here that need the support and knowledge, I do not anticipate it going sour.