Reaching out to the public about pay and QOL

[UKcats06]

I agree with Christy. We married when we were ready, and that was before he even started training. I knew when I met him he wanted to be a pilot but I had no idea what I was (and still am!) in store for. Just because he is going into a difficult career does not mean he doesn't need to be married with kids. I think at least the being married part he needs my support now more than ever to get him through the hard times at a regional. But isn't life/happiness a journey, not a destination? I tell myself that all the time when I just want to get to the next stage. Why sit around waiting for the next thing, when you cuold have it now. of COURSE kids make things more difficult, and while I don't have them, I can imagine they make things better also. We plan on having kids while dh is at a regional, I don't want to put my life on hold for another 5 years or however long it takes to get there. (probably longer!)

Yes there is better QOL and pay when you get to the majors, but why try to rush through life to get to the next stage? Enjoy it! I SO want to get to the next stage, but every time I think "why aren't we there yet?!" I have to remind myself to enjoy dh being home every night while I can. I don't know if there are benefits in regionals that the majors don't have (I doubt it) but that doesn't mean you have to put everything on hold just because you are getting through a more difficult part.

Has anyone ever seen the movie Click?? Its kinda like that! Why fast forward through a boring part or a difficult part or just to get to a better part, you're just going to miss SO much when you do that. You only live once, do it the way you WANT to.

[skyrocketocelot]

I'm actually not offended easily, but in this situation, it was the tone of your post that got me: because I don't have kids, I won't understand the depth of your emotions. No, you didn't use the word "lower" but that's how it came across, I used the quotations for emphasis; I understand a child changes everything but that's no reason to imply that those that are childless can't understand family the way you apparently can.

I'm going to pass on trying to enjoy regionals and look forward to when SO reaches his goal. Regionals do suck, if that's not where you want to be. I, for one (possibly the only one, apparently), do not want to linger.

[Imachickadee75]

Okay, EASY NOW girls. The beauty of this forum is the commonality we have in our SO's being gone doing what they love AND the difference of perspectives and opinions.

With that said, I would agree with Kristie about waiting to have kids IF we are talking about a YOUNG pilot and his SO. Someone coming straight out of High school or even a little older has lots of time.

However, sometimes life doesn't work out that way. For us, DH spent 6 years in the military and then went to flight school for an extraordinary length of time (Almost 9 years if you include instructing- thank you 9/11 and a sports injury) before moving on. We were married for most of his time in school and spent a lot of time just being best friends and enjoying each other. We'd often look at each other and ask if the time was right for kids but until about 3 years ago the answer was always no. Then all of a sudden, it was YES! No the time wasn't right financially -we were probably worse off than ever, but it WAS the right time for us. To a certain extent, DH felt the clock was ticking for him (he didn't want to be an OLD parent) but I'm more than four years younger than him and was somewhat more willing to wait a little. But all of a sudden something clicked and it was time.

The truth is, regional/bottom feeder flying sucks, married or married with kids or not. But, there is NEVER, EVER, a good time to have kids. I know very few people who can actually say they were able to get all their ducks in a row before having their family. You simply find a way. Nothing in life or marriage or family comes easy -you just make it happen.

For those of you who decide not to have children, the truth is, you will never know what you are missing due to your decision and that's okay for you. You can't miss what you've never had. I know I didn't for the first 10 years of adulthood. However, those of us who have had children know the profound change it brings to your perspective of yourself, SO and life in general. One group can never really appreciate the other's perspective becuase they are so vastly different. However, in this forum, I expect to humbly offer my opinion, expect for it to be respected, and in turn I expect to respond with respect to other's opinions. (say that five times fast). LOL


Jackie

[Bigsweetie]

The thing about the airline industry is that it's constantly changing. A pilot can make a plan for his career (i.e.- i'll work at a regional for 1 year, upgrade to capt, be a capt. for a year, go on to a major airline). If only it were that easy! For some, it works out that way! For others, it doesn't. Alot of it has to do with timing, how the industry is going, and who you know...

Eric and I decided a long time ago not to let the industry dictate our lives.

I'll just pose a question... What if we waited til Eric was with a major airline to get married (which btw- is NEVER a guarantee, so by that theory we may never have married)? But for arguements sake... Then a year later, another 9/11 happened (God forbid) and he's furloughed. Do we now get divorced? Do we give Emily up for adoption? Just because our financial lifestyle and QOL have now changed?

Life is unpredictable and although Eric has career goals, and is working very hard to achieve them, we realize that every day in this industry things could change and he could be back working at Circuit City tomorrow (assuming they're hiring LOL!).

[Maggieee]

Whoa, how did we go from a discussion of relaying this (lack of) QOL to discussing whether or not to have kids??

But ... while on the topic, I will share my ten cents too ... I can say that I have two small kiddos so I can certainly relate to the moms on here, but I also was a very big "singleton" person prior to having them so I can also relate to the decision to wait and/or not have them. I do think that those of us who chose to have them, or have them now at least, do feel that a tremendous struggle with being "a single mom" of sorts and might even occasionally envy those of us who chose not to be moms (again, yet or not at all). My girlfriend however has a husband flying for the regionals as well and she has chosen to not have children yet. While there is a part of me that envies her, I know that there is probably a part of her that envies me for having them as company and love. The grass is always greener .... ?

It is true that those who have not had children yet cannot imagine the feeling, but other womens choices are just as empowered and rich. Keyword here being CHOICE. Some aren't so lucky to have choices. I admire those who have kids and raise them more or less by themselves, but I also admire those who have chosen not to as that requires a whole different type of courage and vision. Women at my job who aren't moms (yet or at all) get judged quite harshly and I don't agree with that mentality, or the "couples" dinners or "mommies and me" groups that exclude their kid-less friends. Sometimes I think that moms can be the most exclusive club or clique on earth. Our struggles and challenges fuse us together but they also make us exclude other equally worthy and strong women into our circle of friendship. It's a shame. We all have our own journey - let's just try to respect eachothers choices.

[flygirl813126]

This is very well worded Maggieee. I don't thinkg there is anyone on this board that feels like they are better than anyone else. We all have different experiences and we are here for eachother.

----DRAMA FREE ZONE---- (please)

[czechmate]

I met my DH when we were in our first year at Comair. He paid $10,000 for training and ended up making 14,640 that year. I made more than he did!!!
We always joke that I married him for his money.

[czechmate]

"regional/bottom feeder "

Wow - I'm totally offended.

My DH hired in with every intention of moving on - and will someday. 9/11 has affected alot of the "regional/bottom" feeder pilots. I'm so tired of the mine's bigger than yours and I'm better mentality. Someday my DH will move on and he will NEVER forget where he came from!
Jen

[rgphib]

Jen- same thing with us. DH paid 7k for training when he first got hired by ExpressJet (it was Continental Express then) back in 1999. He made 19k that year, but if you subtract training he made what like 12k. He thought that he wouldn't be at the regionals for long, and wanted to go to United as soon as he could since he interned there. Then 9-11 happened. He was pushed out of his CA seat because CAL let their pilots "flow back" (but then wouldn't create a new agreement for Express guys to flow up.....DH is really bitter about that). He was back as FO for a couple of years until he finally held CA again.

As he approached 30 last year and was not getting called for any interviews, he had basically made up his mind that he would be a lifer. Which wouldn't be so bad- they have a great vacation policy at Express (we are going to miss that the most)....he *had* pretty good schedules (until CLE started shrinking and now that he is in EWR the schedules keep getting worse and worse. He couldn't even hold a commutable line for August.....at all!), they always treated him well, and after 8 years he makes decent money (not what he should be making but.....you know). Now that DH is moving on, he can honestly say SW is the only airline he would leave Express for (other than cargo).....he has decent QOL at Express, but with CAL taking away flying the CAL bases are getting worse and worse schedules (unless you are in IAH where there are tons of lines). It is scary to stay and scary to go.

Even though DH took the job at his regional as a start, he would have been happy to retire from there. He doesn't care about flying bigger airplanes (just making some more money so I can stay home).....he cares about being able to have a good schedule so he can be home. I know he would be staying at Express if he wasn't nervous about job security because next year he would be up to 4 weeks of vacation each year (and at Express 1 week usually can equal 3 weeks). With all the regionals fighting for flying, it is going to get worse and worse soon.

[czechmate]

Southwest is the ONLY company he would leave for now. He interview with them in Sept. 06 and was turned down. Huge bummer but he's never going to give up on trying. If he stays at Comair then it would be ok - he's got the world's easiest job and great seniority. But that's not his dream.


Did your DH have his type before the interview?

Jen